


Love? For Real?

by Kassykins



Series: Love? It's complicated [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Body Horror, Car Chases, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Gun fights, M/M, Reader Is Not Chara (Undertale), Reader Is Not Frisk (Undertale), Reader fic - Freeform, Sequel, Themes of Racism, but nothing graphic, chapters will be tagged in advance, not even kidding, occasional smut, oh god the drama, so much fluff and angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-01-01 04:26:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 75,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18328595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kassykins/pseuds/Kassykins
Summary: It's been a few years since you narrowly escaped the clutches of the Fell brothers and left home to start a new life with your friends, Axe and Sugar. After everything that happened, you've sworn off love, and anyone who's shown interest in you has only aroused your suspicion.Putting that aside, things have been pretty good - you have a steady job at Grillby's, the farm you live on brings in a little extra money, and Sugar has found his calling restoring or up-cycling furniture. You're financially and emotionally stable, can't even remember the last time you were in any danger, and have a great relationship with your beloved skeletons housemates.Yup, life is pretty good - you couldn't want for anything else!Or so you think, until Sugar's shameless flirt of a boss makes you realise something you wish you hadn't. Something which may just destroy this happy home of yours for good.Love? Oh God, not again...This work is a sequel to Love? I Think Not, and it's highly recommended that you read that one first!





	1. A Chicken Named Gremlin

"Sans, why are you sleeping in the chicken shed?"

The skeleton blinked blearily at you, having just woken up, and looked around him. He was covered in dozing hens, 'bok'ing and cooing gently, as he leaned against the stack of egg crates.

"dunno..." he confessed, looking understandably confused.

"Were you eating the eggs again?" you asked.

His tasted the inside of his mouth nosily, running his fingers over his teeth.

"maybe." 

You leaned back out the shed door, catching sight of Papyrus tearing through the barn.

"Call off the search!" you yelled, startling him a little "He's in here again!"

"Godammit, Sans!" you heard him yell, stomping his foot moodily and storming over. 

"I have one word for you, Sans." you sighed as you looked back at him.

"is it salmonella?" he asked.

"It's salmonella."

"Sans, what the heck?!" Papyrus demanded as he poked his head into the shed, being far too tall to venture further in "Why are you in here?"

"what can i say, bro?" Sans answered with a wink and a shrug.

"No..." Papyrus started warningly, narrowing his eyes.

"chicks dig me."

Papyrus let out a frustrated scream, startling the chickens awake as he smacked his head on the wooden ceiling. You stopped laughing the minute you heard the hollow sound, beckoning him down to check for damage.

"you okay, bro?" Sans asked as he brushed the birds off him and stood up, trying very hard not to laugh.

"No!" he answered, clutching his skull "My only brother has THE WORST sense of humour in the world and keeps tormenting me with horrid puns! Not to mention that you used that one last time!"

"i did?"

"You did." you confirmed.

"damn, gotta work on my material." Sans lamented with a click of his fingers, pulling a journal from his pocket and writing a note.

Satisfied there was nothing permanently wrong with Papyrus, you held his head a safe distance below the door frame and guided him back out. It had only been a few weeks since his orthodontic headgear was removed, and he was still very self-conscious about marks on his skull. He was still grumbling as he went back to the house, rubbing his head.

"what time is it?" Sans asked.

"Breakfast time." you answered "Now get out - I need to collect the eggs for work."

The skeleton just chuckled, scratching the chicken that remained on his shoulder. That particular chickens name was Gremlin, and it was the ugliest chicken you'd ever seen this side of a meat cleaver - her beak had clearly been broken at some point and was now permanently crooked, she had large bald patches in her feathers and a bizarrely long neck which she didn't seem to know how to retract. Gremlin didn't crow, but every now and then would let out the most discomforting scream you'd ever heard. The second the animal rescue team had bought the former battery hens to the farm, Gremlin had fallen in love with Sans and refused to leave his side, hence her current position on the skeletons shoulder.

"what's for breakfast?" he asked.

"Bacon."

"aw, not porky..."

"Yeah, yeah, get out the way."

Sans just laughed again, finally exiting the shed and going to the house, allowing you to start filling crates with what eggs he didn't eat.

At their request, you had stopped referring to your friends as 'Axe' and 'Sugar', as Sans confessed one day he wasn't actually fond of the nickname, and Papyrus got jealous that his brother got to be called by his real name. You didn't really care what they were called, so you just agreed.

As you finished collecting the eggs and shut the shed door, you saw Papyrus loading your bike into the back of his pick-up truck and securing it down, crates of eggs still attached to the back.

"I guess you're giving me a ride to work, then?" you deduced.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked.

"Just let me wash my hands." you requested, passing him the last crate of eggs "Be right back."

You ran to the house, a three story wooden building that the three of you had spent years doing up, and into the pristine white, wood and copper kitchen, where Sans was eating breakfast, giving scraps of bacon to Gremlin every now and then.

"Don't give her that." you scolded lightly "The salt is bad for her."

Sans seemed surprised a moment, before turning around and picking up a piece of chalk, turning to one of the two painted chalkboard walls. One was covered in important things for him to remember, and the other was the schedule the three of you had worked out, with a bright arrow made of tile which pointed at which day it was. Papyrus was fastidious about making sure it was correct, and whenever guests came to the house they weren't allowed anywhere near it: in order for Sans to have any kind of independent life with his massive head injury, he had to be able to absolutely trust the people he lived with, and his brother wasn't going to allow an ill-thought out prank mess with their system.

He wrote the important thing he learned on the wall as you washed your hands, wishing you a good day as you left. Behind you, Gremlin let out one of her screams.

Papyrus was waiting patiently in the cab of the truck, checking the mirrors, so you went to open the main gate, closing it behind him after he drove through, and jumped into the cab with him.

"Any requests?" he asked.

"The news."

Papyrus turned on the radio as he started to drive, the signal interrupted by the thick trees on either side of the road. It cleared after you got through the forest, just in time for the news to start as you drove through the country lanes, the trees giving way to fields and bushes, punctuated by the occasional building, before you crested the hill and saw the town in the valley below.

There were only a few hundred survivors of the famine that reaped it's way through your friends underground. At first, they had all gone their separate ways, unable to stand the unbearable guilt of what they had to do to survive, but not finding anyone else who could relate to their suffering, they had drifted back together again over time, repairing their lives and rebuilding in the company of those who could understand them. That's what this town was - their own slice of heaven, nestled between two mountains and surrounded on all sides by farmland, orchards and fisheries. All manner of food creation was the priority for these monsters, and whatever they didn't make use of themselves was sold to monster-marts all over the country. It was an absurdly peaceful place, but the inhabitants had had quite enough of strife, thank you very much.

You couldn't agree more. You had had your misgivings when Papyrus first told you about the place all those years ago, thinking it sounded more like a co-dependant commune than an actual town, but you had been pleasantly surprised by the down-to-earth attitude of the monsters here. There were one or two humans other than yourself around, such as the preacher at the church, the dentist, and one of the larger farm owners, but there was little in the way of trouble.

Papyrus slowed down as he entered the town proper, as children with bags as big as they were dashed across the road to school and elderly monsters chatted in doorways and shopfronts.

"More trouble at the border." you noted as the news finished "You'd think they'd give up."

"Some humans support them." Papyrus noted.

"Some humans are idiots."

Turning off the main street, Papyrus parked in the lot of a handsome wooden shopfront, 'Jacks Quality Up-Cycling and Repairs' emblazoned on the professionally hand-made sign. Jack himself - a black and white rabbit monster a good foot taller than you with a barrel shaped body that betrayed his love of drink - was opening up the doors for the day, putting out the chalkboard sign and moving the display furniture. He looked up when he saw the truck, smiling in greeting.

"Found him then." he noted.

"He was in the chicken shed." Papyrus grumbled as he got out "Sorry for being late."

Jack just laughed, waving his hand dismissively.

"Don't worry, laddie." he bid "You're here in the end. And a very good morning to _you_!"

"Morning, Jack." you returned, climbing out of the cab.

Papyrus unstrapped your bike and lifted it to the ground, making sure you had a firm grip before letting go. 

"We've got a quiet one today, lad." Jack told him, large hand patting him paternally on the back "Failing any surprises, it'll be a good day to work on that clock."

"Catch you guys later." you interrupted, as you'd be late if you left it any longer.

They both bid you goodbye as you wheeled your bike over the road and around the corner. It wasn't even worth getting on it for the distance. You parked it behind Grillby's, locked it up, and gathered the crates of eggs in your arms, walking back around to the front.

The second you stepped in the door, you were assailed by puppies. While you considered this the opposite of a problem, it did make it a little difficult to get to the kitchen.

"Eggs!" they barked, jumping up at you as puppies are wont to do "Eggs! Eggs!"

"Boss, little help!" you called.

Grillby's shoulders shuddered - the only indication that he was laughing - as he came around the bar and took the eggs from you. The puppies whined and cried as they were carried away, sitting down on the floor, but perked up immediately when you pulled some cold bacon bits from your pocket, handing them out like candy. Having received their treats, they immediately ran off to under their parents table. Dogamy and Dogaressa laughed fondly, secretly jealous that they also didn't get bacon, but as adults, they let it go. The puppies names were Good Dog, Gooder Dog, and Goodest Dog - you hoped they weren't going to grow up with a complex, but it never seemed to do Lesser and Greater Dog any harm.

As you got to the bar, Grillby had finished counting the eggs, written you out an invoice and got the cash ready. He and Sans may be old friends, but where money was concerned, everything was logged, calculated and legal to the letter. You threw the envelope and receipt in your bag before heading into the back.

"What's the special today?" you inquired.

"Need you ask?" Grillby chuckled, patting the crates.

"Of course." you laughed.

You passed through the kitchen - it was smaller than one you'd worked in before, but you didn't mind - and headed through the door that led upstairs to the living area. Fuku was rushing around madly with toast in her mouth, trying to pull on her socks, put her books in her bag and find her neck tie all the same time. She must have overslept again. Spying her tie, you held it up for her. In a flurry of green fire, everything else was ready, and she grabbed the tie as she sprinted past you.

"OKthanksseeyoulater!" she beckoned as she headed out.

"Have a good day at school." you bid.

Without further ado, you grabbed some clean linens from the cupboard and went to change.

* * *

 

The breakfast rush was just starting to peter out, giving you the opportunity to wash the pans and put the remaining eggs in the fridge, when there was an almighty crunch from the dining area. It was a sound you had heard before, and you knew immediately what had happened when Grillby poked his head in the door, calling your name with an aggrieved sigh.

"Want me to go get Jack?" you asked him.

"Please." he beckoned.

You dried off your hands and headed back to the front door, spotting Dogamy and Dogaressa helping Greater Dog to his feet. Underneath his hulking form were the splinters of the table the dog patrol usually sat at, the puppies still running around excitedly. You wondered who tripped him this time, since it was far too early from him to be drunk. 

It was a pretty nice day, spring firmly settled in, and you wished the walk back to the repair shop was a little bit longer so you could enjoy it. A couple of monsters were milling around the showroom, looking at the restored furniture, while Jack and Papyrus were behind the railing in the work area. The numerous sharp tools and machines had made you nervous for your short-sighted friend at first, but he had yet to injure himself on any of them. You walked over to the main desk and dinged the bell twice to get their attention. Papyrus immediately jolted up in concern, but seemed to relax a moment later when he took in your calm demeanour.

"To what to we owe the pleasure, little bun?" Jack asked, sliding his safety goggles back up his head as he turned to you.

"The table." is all you said.

"Again?!" Jack cried, startling the couple walking around, but you knew him well enough to know he wasn't really mad.

"Again." you confirmed.

Jack groaned theatrically, shaking his head as he got up from his low stool and removed his heavy suede gloves.

"Papyrus, lad, I'll be gone about an hour." he informed him "If I'm not back by lunch, just close the shop up and come join us at Grillby's."

"You know my feelings on grease." the skeleton groaned.

"Once in a while won't kill you."

"It might."

Jack just laughed as he grabbed his tool bag, slinging an arm around your shoulder as he led you back to the bar. He teased Greater Dog something awful when you arrived, but they all laughed it off as you went back the kitchen to keep prepping for lunch. A few hours later, once lunch was over, you cooked yourself up some pasta, a hot sandwich and a side of chips, and headed back to the dining area. You gave the pasta to Grillby, who started to munch away at it where he stood at the bar, and sat at your usual booth near the back, where Papyrus was picking at the remnants of his salad.

"Long lunch?" you asked him.

"Can't do any more without Jacks help." he admitted "And, uh..."

He pointed to his boss, who was busy flirting shamelessly with a drunk cat monster who everyone told you was called 'Burgerpants', although you had your doubts.

"Long lunch it is." you finished, offering him some chips.

Despite sneering a little at the grease, he still took a few. You couldn't help but watch the rabbit put the moves on the oblivious cat, and became so engrossed in the pantomime before you that you didn't notice Sans coming in until he got his 'Cheers'-like greeting from everyone else in the bar. Gremlin, still on the exact same shoulder as before, flapped her wings and readjusted herself as Sans slid into the booth with you and immediately helped himself to your chips.

"Um, rude." you teased.

"sorry, kitten." he said, sticking out a tongue covered in masticated potato "want them back?"

"Sans, that's disgusting!" Papyrus scolded.

"sorry, bro, you know manners don't mean _mush_ to me."  

"SANS!"

The entire bar just laughed. Without you even realising he had left the bar, Grillby returned and put a plate of Sans' usual on the table in front of him.

"thanks, man." he said before turning to you and Papyrus "so how's your day going-?"

"Sans~!"

Sans face immediately dropped.

"oh god." he groaned.

He didn't even have to look around to know that Jack was right beside him, gazing at him amorously with his head in his hands.

"Hey, lover-boy." he greeted.

"hello, jack." Sans grumbled.

"Heard you woke up in the chicken shed. If you were lonely in bed, I would have been more than happy to keep you company."

"there are children present, jack."

"They're napping. Why don't we go take a nap?" he asked with a wink.

"i'm trying to eat."

"Bet I can think of something tastier for you to eat."

"Jack." you said warningly.

The rabbit just grinned as Sans glared at him. Gremlin, however, had a much shorter temper, and went for Jacks bent ear, causing him to flail and fall off the seat. Once again, the entire bar laughed, and even Sans grinned as he fed Gremlin the crouton Papyrus didn't finish.

"knew you'd fallen for me, man." he joked.

Papyrus groaned.

"Hey now, why am I always the fall guy?" Jack retorted, striking a pose on the floor.

Papyrus groaned louder.

"everyone knows how you like making a _fall_ of yourself."

Papyrus practically screamed, pounding the table with one hand and grabbing you with the other, wailing into your shirt as he buried his face in your shoulder. You couldn't help but laugh, patting him on the head.

* * *

 

On the days you worked the breakfast shift, Grillby handled dinner alone, so you had enough time to swing by the supermarket and pick up some essentials before heading home. While there, you once again saw the puppies and their parents, making the most of their day off and getting the shopping in. The puppies immediately ran over upon seeing you, and while logically you knew it was because the babies associated you with food, you liked to think they liked you at least a little bit. You talked idly with the parents as the kids climbed up your legs, handing them back the second they get high enough for you to grab them without bending down.

"You know, you're really good with them." Dogamy mentioned offhandedly "You ever think of having your own?"

"I'm not really in a position to do that right now." you confessed, steadying Goodest Dog as she climbed on your shoulders.

"Oh? Aren't you guys pretty stable?" Dogaressa asked.

"Us guys?"

"You and Papyrus." she continued.

"No no, hot dog, it's Sans!" Dogamy insisted.

"Wait, you think I'm...?" you started, completely flabbergasted.

Is that really how you came across?

"It's neither." you corrected them "The guys and I are just friends."

"You are?" both dogs said at once, tilting their heads in the way confused dogs do "Why not?"

"Why not?" you echoed "I mean... it's just never been that way. There's no real reason for it."

"That's so sad." Dogamy lamented "We always thought you guys were such a sweet family!"

"Take my advice." Dogaressa said earnestly, putting a paw on your shoulder "If you are thinking of having puppies, don't leave it too long. The older you get, the harder it will be to play fetch with them."

"I'll bear that in mind." you dismissed as Goodest Dog almost nosedived down your back, but for your grip on her ankles.

"Let us know if you need us to introduce you to anyone!" Dogamy agreed with a wink "Doggo keeps asking after you, y'know!"

"Tell him I said hi." was as much as you'd commit to that.

* * *

 

When you finally arrived home, the pizza was ready, sliced, and laid on the coffee table with the plates, drinks and serviettes. Sans and Papyrus were flicking through Netflix to find a new movie, asking you what you thought as you emptied the popcorn and crisps into a bowl. You voted for Battlefield Earth, just to see the look of disgust on their faces.

Three movies in, food eaten and drinks drunk, you were asleep against an also sleeping Papyrus, who has hid legs stretched out over the side of the sofa and one arm around you, and Sans was sleeping against you, using your stomach as a pillow and hugging your waist as he snored. After half an hour of no input, the tv turned itself off, bathing the peaceful domestic tableaux in darkness.  

 


	2. A Harsh Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Did anyone miss me? For the entire 3 days I was gone?

It was a bright, sunny day. Papyrus was practically skipping down the stairs, battle body clean and shining, with a song on his lips and a smile in his heart. He passed by Sans, who was sat on the couch as usual, only for some reason there was a chicken on his shoulder.

"GOOD MORNING, BROTHER!" he greeted in his usual tone "GOOD TO SEE YOU UP AND ABOUT SO EARLY!"

"hey bro." Sans said happily "just gettin' a head start on the day."

Papyrus laughed and headed to the kitchen. As expected, there you were, apron around your soft human curves, making breakfast. He snuck up on you as stealthily as he could, putting his hands on your hips and pulling you against him by way of greeting.

"SMELLS GOOD." he said.

"It isn't ready yet." you told him, sounding happy even though you didn't look at him "Why don't you go do some puzzles for a while?"

"I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT THE FOOD." Papyrus chuckled, giving you a skeleton kiss on the neck.

"You flirt." you laughed.

"I MEAN IT." he went on "I DARE SAY YOU SMELL GOOD ENOUGH TO EAT!"

The air changed. The bright sunshine disappeared, and everything around him went cold. Papyrus could already feel in his bones that something was very wrong, and backed away from you as you finally turned to face him. His breath caught - your eyes were gone, gouged out, leaving nothing but bloody, oozing sockets which dripped down your face.

"That's good." you said "Because I just finished your special spaghetti!"

You held a plate up - the noodles were garnished with a thick blood sauce, and your eyeballs were sitting on top as the meatballs. Papyrus screamed, falling back and hitting the floor.

"something wrong, bro?" Sans asked calmly.

Papyrus looked around, mouth already open to scream for help, but he stopped - something was terribly wrong with Sans as well. He was bigger - taller and squarer, but his clothes hung off him, dirty and ragged, like he'd lost a lot of weight. The white eye lights he knew so well were gone, replaced by a single red disk in one eye. Most disturbing of all was the jagged hole in the top of his skull. His brother just smiled as if nothing is wrong.

"you feeling okay, bud?" he asked.

"I... I DON'T... SANS, WHAT...?!"

"He's just hungry." You said, reminding him that you were there "Nothing a little spaghetti won't fix."

"NO! NO, KEEP THAT AWAY FROM ME!" Papyrus screamed.

He tried to get to his feet to run away, but he was suddenly in incredible pain, so much that he doubled over where he sat, forehead resting on the floor as he heaved. Hearing something hitting the lino, he backed away a bit. Were those... his teeth? He reached a shaking hand to his jaw, where he found his teeth sticking out at odd angles, painful beyond words, and covered in what he desperately hoped was passata. It was getting harder and harder to see, harder and harder to breathe, and he started to wheeze as his body warped and stretched.

His spine grew and grew with agonising cracks, but gained no weight, leaving it stretched out and unable to support his ribs. His legs did the same, claws erupting from his boots and tearing them to pieces, and his arms... his arms were by far the worst: his fingers grew and sharpened until his phalanges were just as long as his arms, honed as knives, clicking and scratching on the floor. He was so hungry. He was so hungry.

 ** _He was so hungry._**   

He reared up, hardly able to stay upright on that unnaturally long spine, and spied the only thing in the area he could possibly eat.

You.

You just smiled as he grabbed your shoulders, leaning over you and opening his mouth wide...

* * *

 

It was the screaming that woke you up. It was rare that Papyrus had a nightmare, but when he did, the whole house knew about it. You leapt out of bed and ran down the stairs to the first floor, not taking any notice of what time it was, and found the lights in Sans' room and the bathroom were on, the sound of vomiting and crying coming from within. You stopped at the door to see Papyrus knelt over the toilet, throwing up magic into the bowl. Sans was beside him, rubbing his back and making reassuring noises. He gave you an awkward smile when he spotted you.

"the mutation dream again." he told you.

"Can I get him anything?" you asked.

"some water would be good."

By the time you were back, the worst of it was over, and Papyrus was wiping his eyes, breathing carefully as his brother guided him. All you could do was kneel down in front of him, rubbing his arm supportively. He grabbed your shoulder like he was trying to steady himself, eyes fixed on his hand. You knew what he was thinking - he'd told you both about the nightmare you referred to as his 'mutation dream'. It would be foolish to think that anyone could go through all the sudden physical changes Papyrus had and not be left with at least some dysphoria to go along with the trauma.

Hand still shaking, he took the water from you and sipped at it until he calmed down. Neither you nor Sans moved away. You weren't sure how long you sat there in the bathroom with him, but it felt like a while.

"you good, bro?" Sans asked eventually.

Papyrus opened his mouth, but no words came out, just a quiet, rattling wheeze. The skeleton actually shuddered at the sound, but nodded all the same. You took the empty glass as Sans helped him stand, leading him back to his bedroom. You didn't even attempt to go back to your room, and Sans only disappeared long enough to turn the light off in his, before you both climbed into Papyrus' large comfy bed with him, each taking one of his hands. He was still shaking, but allowed himself to be comforted, breathing steadily and staring at the ceiling until he eventually fell back to sleep.

* * *

 

"Poor lad." Jack sympathised "That sounds awful."

"He wanted to come to work still," you explained "But he got outvoted. He's not going to be any good today."

"Ah, I understand." the rabbit assured "You tell him to get some rest. It's no good being around these tools when you're tired and distracted."

"Thanks for understanding-"

"Hold up a second, lil' bun!" Jack bid as you began to turn away to the door "In return for letting the lad take the day off, I want your expert opinion on something."

"Uh... okay...?"

The rotund rabbit got up from the desk and beckoned you into the back where the tools were, showing you some blueprints he'd pinned up on his drawing board.

"You know the dentist, Rawlins?" he asked.

"Vaguely." you admitted.

"Well, her daughter is coming to visit, and she's bringing her baby." he explained "And heaven forbid her precious angel should have to sleep in a travel cot for a few days! So she's commissioned me to make a wooden cot for her. The only issue is, I have no idea what human babies are like. Do they need high sides? Fire retardant? Water filled? I don't know! I started with the kind of cot I made my kids and figured I'd alter the plans, but...?"

He trailed off, holding up his hand as if his point was self-explanatory, which you guessed it was. 

"I didn't know you had kids." you noted as you took a look over the plans.

"Two." he told you proudly "A girl and a boy, in that order."

"How come I've never seen them around?"

"They, uh... they're with their mother."

"Divorced?" 

"Widowed, actually."

... oh.

... Oh!

... Oooohhhh...

"Sorry..." you said earnestly.

Jack smiled, but it was a hollow expression.

"There's a reason we Fells don't keep each others company any more." was all he said "So, the plans?"

"Mostly fine." you told him, happy for the change of subject "You should make the bars a little closer together. How old is the baby, did she say?"

"About nine months."

"Then anything loose is going to go in its mouth, so make sure there's nothing small enough to choke on. Long ribbons look nice, but a human baby will definitely try to eat them."

Jack made some notes on the blueprint, nodding understandingly.

"You'll also want to move the mattress down, or else make the bars higher." you finished "The second a baby can stand, they try to climb over everything. Better safe than sorry."

"Human and monster babies are very similar." Jack laughed "Thanks for the info, cupcake."

"Don't call me cupcake."

You said that so fast, and with such rancor, that it made Jacks head whip around. He examined you closely, but said nothing.

"You know a lot about babies." he went on, changing the subject again "Not getting broody are you, lil' bun?"

"You're the second person to ask me that this week." you said, monitoring your tone carefully so you didn't snap unnecessarily again "I can assure you that I'm not."

"Shame." Jack said with a sly smile "The lad would make a good father, I think."

"Papyrus?"

Again with that.

"We're just housemates, we're not together."

His entire face dropped in surprise, his good ear sticking right up and his bent ear trying to follow suit.

"You aren't?" he asked "The way the lad talks about you, I thought it was a done deal. A-All completely above board, of course! No blue talk in this workshop!"

He couldn't look you in the eye, and you could only imagine the look on your face to get that reaction. You knew Papyrus wouldn't talk about you inappropriately, but it was still a surprise that he talked about you enough that his boss thought you were an item.

"We're just friends." you explained.

Jack looked at you thoughtfully.

"Does he know that?" he asked.

That honestly surprised you. He asked you so earnestly, his expression so serious...

"I... I mean... we've never once talked about dating, or anything like that." you assured "He knows we're not an item."

"Might you be? Ever, I mean?"

"Why do you want to know?" you challenged.

Jack scratched the back of his head, picking his words.

"The lad clearly likes you. A lot." he said "If the two of you really aren't together, then I think he wishes you were. If there's no chance of that happening, you need to be honest with him. You owe him that much, don't you think?"

You didn't know what to say. The idea that Papyrus liked you romantically had never even occurred to you. He was only ever your friend - your best friend, admittedly - but just a friend nonetheless.

"I have to go to work." is all you said, turning around and leaving without another word.

* * *

 

Grillby's closed a little early on Wednesdays, since it never made much money, and the two of you used the extra time to brainstorm new dishes, update the paperwork and discuss any issues that had come up since last week. The two of you munched on pretzels, sat on opposite sides of the bar as you finished off the ordering for next week.

"Oh!" Grillby's flame crackled as he remembered something "This Sunday, Fuku wants me to have dinner with her and her girlfriend."

"What time?" you asked.

"About seven."

"Food service is usually dried up around then." you knew "Want me to cover the bar for a couple of hours?"

"Sorry for the trouble."

"I don't mind, just don't expect me to make any cocktails."

Grillby just chuckled. Your first and last attempt at making cocktails hadn't exactly gone well.

"It must be getting pretty serious if they're doing the whole 'meet the parents' thing." you noted.

"You know how young love is." he dismissed "I hope for the best, of course, but they're just children. They still have a lot of growing to do. How old were you when you met Sans?"

You thought for a moment. You were working with Papyrus at the grocery store, and you didn't meet Sans for a couple of month after that...

"About sixteen." you supposed "Maybe a young seventeen."

"Six..." Grillby seemed concerned a moment "What I meant was, how old were you when you started dating?"

Say what?

"Sans and I aren't dating."

"You aren't?"

Oh god, not again.

"I could have sworn..." Grillby thought, tilting his head "Even when his skull was whole, he wasn't much of a Lothario, and the way he talks about you..."

"You're the second person to tell me that." you informed him " _Today_. Only it was about Papyrus. Exactly what kind of vibes are we giving off here?"     

"That you're a family." he answered simply "That you love them."

"I do love them." you assured.

"But not that way?"

"It's never even occurred to me."

Grillby fixed you with the exact same look Jack did earlier, annoying you even more.

"Does Sans know that?" he asked.

"For goodness sake..." you sighed, putting your head in your hands.

What was with everyone all of a sudden? You looked back up as Grillby called your name.

"I'm not going to tell you how to conduct your relationships." he started "But there's clearly been some miscommunication between you and those two. I just... Sans is my best friend, always has been. I don't want to see him hanging around waiting for someone to realise they love him when it 'never even occurred' to them. Even if your answer is no... I think he still needs to hear it."

You were saved from further awkward discussion as the door opened, a certain smiling skeleton popping his head in.

"burning the midnight oil?" he asked.

"It's 7pm." you pointed out.

"too late to be working." Sans said with a wink "let's go get burgers."

"Sans-"

"You may as well go, we're about done here." Grillby interrupted "Just think about what I said, okay?"

* * *

You sat in the back seat of Papyrus' truck, your bike fastened to the bed again, as Sans and Papyrus bickered companionably in the front seat. It started on the subject of the grease smell from the burgers you'd got at the drive-through, but you couldn't say what it was about now - you were too busy thinking.

Was there any truth to the things Jack and Grillby had said? Papyrus' boss and Sans' best friend... they'd know, right? It was true that you weren't the most astute person when it came to matters of romance, but the guys weren't treating you any differently than they usually did. There was only one thing you knew for certain - you had to take this seriously. Aside from being your best friends in the entire world, the three of you had built this life together, and if something went wrong, if you were too flippant with what might be real feelings, it was likely to destroy your hard-won happiness. Moreover, the thought of a romantic relationship just bought back memories of that whole ~~fiasco~~ ~~traumatic event~~  complete and utter bullshit that went down with Red.

Worse yet, the two of them were brothers. If they did both have feelings for you, and you picked one over the other, what would it do to their relationship? It was true that monsters had a more liberal approach to what constituted a 'relationship' than most humans did, but to exploit that just so you didn't have to make a decision felt... wrong. You owed them a decisive answer, so they could move on and find another love if...

That thought made you bitter. The idea of either of them finding someone else, loving someone who wasn't you. Either of them? Wow, how selfish could you be?

"Penny for your thoughts?" Papyrus' voice broke through the fog, startling you back to life.

He looked concerned, his emotions easy to read as his glasses magnified his small eyes.

"I'm fine." you assured "Why, what's up?"

"Well..." he looked away awkwardly "We got home five minutes ago and you're still in the car..."

Your ears went hot as you realised that, yes, you were parked up in your yard, and Papyrus was standing over the car door, which he had opened for you.

"Right." you said quickly "Sorry... thinking."

"I could see that." he said quietly as you grabbed your bag and jumped out of the truck "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I will." you told him "I just need to get my thoughts in order first."

He didn't look happy, but nodded all the same, closing the car door and following you into the house.

 


	3. A Familiar Face

It wasn't even dawn yet when you left the house, pulling your jacket tight around you and fixing the leather satchel firmly on your bike. Before you could get on it and start the engine, you spied Sans in the barn, lit by nothing but the soft glow of tungsten lanterns: you could only see his back, and he was looking out the other side of the shed, over the field and into the woods. Wondering what he was doing, you watched him for a moment.

You froze, your breath catching in your throat when you saw the deer - four of them, a male, two females and a baby - ambling up to the barn as if it was the most natural thing in the world for them to do. Sans didn't move a single bone as they walked up to him, sniffing him cautiously before nudging him with their noses. Only then did he move his hand, slowly lifting it and stroking the stag on the head. Never in your life had you seen someone stroke a deer, and the practised way the animals approached him made you think it wasn't the first time he'd done this. The glow of blue magic caught your attention - a bucket rose to the air and stopped by Sans hand, and from it he plucked flowering weeds and what looked like chunks of potato. The deer actually took the food from his hands.

You were completely speechless. You couldn't bring yourself to move lest the animals spot you and you ruin the moment.

It ended on his own, however, as the deer wandered off again to graze elsewhere. Sans watched them go, you watching him, for another couple of minutes. When he finally turned around, he nearly jumped straight out of his skin, pun fully intended with this skeleton, to see you standing there.

"flamin' stars!" he cried "don't do that you scared the crap outta me!"

"Sorry." you laughed "Didn't want to ruin the moment."

"heh..." he rubbed his head self-consciously as he walked over to you "they're good people. as long as i feed them they don't eat my crops, and since they love eating weeds... well, it works out."

"Colour me impressed." you told him "I've never seen deer get that close to people."

"yeah... you off then?" he changed the subject.

"Yeah, it'll be a long one for me." you lamented "Anything you want?"

"nah." he shrugged "just come home safe."

"Alright then." you said, turning away "I'll be-"

"actually." he said suddenly.

When you looked back, he turned away awkwardly, scuffing his shoes on the ground.

"am... am i boring?" he asked, cheeks tinted blue.

"Excuse me?" you asked, completely blindsided by the question "Are you...? Why would you ask?"

"i dunno..." he shrugged, although he clearly did as he continued "i used to be a comedian. i was a scientist once. i did all sorts of interesting things in the past, and now..."

He shrugged again, shaking his head.

"now i put seeds in the ground and wait around until something grows... i just... y'know what, never mind-"

"Are you unhappy?" you interrupted before he could back out of the conversation.

"what? no!" he insisted "not at all - i'm the happiest i've been for a while, it just feels like... like i'm waiting for something big to happen, something significant, but it's not... stars, i must sound so ungrateful to you and paps right now..."

"You don't." you assured, and he finally looked at you.

"sorry, love." he said "i, uh... don't really know what't wrong with me right now..."

"Oh, that's an easy diagnosis." you told him seriously.

"it is?"

"Oh yes, and I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but it's usually an incurable, lifelong condition."

"it is?" he repeated, actually looking worried now.

"You have," you said completely seriously, putting a hand on his shoulder and looking him dead in the eye "Disney Princess Syndrome."

Sans laughed so hard he snorted, covering his mouth as he looked back to the house where his brother was still asleep, but didn't stop chuckling.

"Think about it!" you told him, still completely deadpan "Communing with wild animals, wanting 'more', and you've already got an animal sidekick... next thing you know a handsome prince or roguish outlaw is going to come and sweep you off your feet, and then!"

"and then?" he played along, still laughing.

"A happy ending." you finished as if you'd just told him he had two weeks to live "I'm so sorry, man..."

Sans snorted again, whole being shaking as he put his hands back in his pockets.

"you're awful." he giggled. 

"Seriously, though? Everything's been so up in the air for so long, it's normal to feel a bit paranoid when there's finally some peace." you told him "As for being boring - as long as you're happy, who cares? Besides that, what's 'interesting' is subjective, isn't it? I think most sports are boring, but some people devote their whole lives to them."

Sans chuckled, conceding your point.

"okay, lemme rephrase." he said "do you think i'm boring?"

"No." you promised "And even if I did, I wouldn't care. I like you the way you are, you know. Even if you do burst out into song about how much you like doing chores some day. Although, Papyrus might actually like that"

Finally, he cracked a genuine smile, giving you a tender look as he chuckled.

"thanks." he said, blushing again "anyway, you should get outta here, or you'll miss your train. say 'hi' for me, okay?"

* * *

The closest city was five hours and three separate trains away from the small town you lived in. You made the trip a couple of times a year, always at odd intervals so your movements were harder to track, and with exception of the big supermarket by the train station to pick up certain human necessities which just weren't available back home, you never went to the same place twice. There was only one reason you would make this thankless journey, and it sure as hell wasn't for the shopping.

You were in the museum this time, reading the descriptions on the questionable taxidermy when hurried footsteps and an excited squeal caught your attention. You turned around just as Anna barrelled into you, locking you in a tight hug, which you happily returned.

"Hey," you greeted with a laugh, not entirely certain she wasn't trying to break your ribs "You miss me?"

"Yeah, but my aim is improving." she joked as she let you go "Let's go to the cafe, I'm dying for a coffee!"

Anna had grown a lot since you had moved out of your foster parents home, and not just physically (much to your annoyance, she was now taller than you) - she was in the final year of her degree, a blackbelt in karate, and had a stable, long-term relationship with a decent partner. If you were the jealous sort, you would have been bitter that she got the life you had so coveted, but as it was, you were just happy that at least one of you got to live freely. The two of you met like this a few times a year to exchange 'how's the family's and let your foster parents know you were still alive - it wasn't nearly the same getting the information second hand and long after the fact, but at least it was something. Those first few months where you had to cut contact with them entirely had been pretty painful.

Anna talked a million miles an hour, as usual, about every single thing that had happened since the last time you saw each other: Suzy's adoption by your brother Miles had been finalised, but so had your foster parents divorce. Nana was somehow still clinging on, despite being nearly 100 years old now, and your foster mothers new job was going very nicely. You didn't have much to relay back - maybe you were the one who was boring? - but if anything, the steady predictability of your life was something you appreciated.

"Still not seeing anyone?" Anna asked as you wandered through the Egyptian exhibit.

"Despite what the entire town seems to think, no." you laughed "It's been quite the topic of conversation this week."

"Oh? Do tell!"

"Nothing to tell." you assured her "Everyone seems to think I'm dating one of the guys, that's all."

"You're not?"

"Don't you start."

"I mean..." Anna took a moment to pick her words "It's great that they're such good friends, and that they were able to help you when you needed them, but... that doesn't mean you have to stay with them your entire life. The same is true of them - at least one of you must want something for the future, right? To meet someone, get married, have kids? Y'know, life stuff?"

"That's..." you trailed off.

"I understand." she assured "You all have some kind of trauma that makes it hard to picture the future as something concrete, but you remember what you told me? The future will happen whether you like it or not?"

"Using my own words against me." you grumbled theatrically "Typical psychologist behaviour!"

"Just wait 'til I get my doctorate." Anna teased, nudging you with her hip "But seriously, unless you're all planning on growing old single and childless on that farm, you need to do something. Have a plan."

"It's in the works." you told her, hoping she'd drop the subject if you were vague enough "We just need to sit down and talk it out. What about you? Any wedding bells on the horizon?"

Anna pulled a face, making the see-saw movement with her hand as you moved from Egypt to Greece.

"Maybe? I mean, kinda? I hope so?"

"But?" you pried.

"I'm gonna sound silly." she said "I know this, but... I'm just... waiting for something big to happen? Like, we're at the third act, where's our crescendo? The big dramatic reveal? Anything?"

"You're right." you told her "That is silly."

She groaned your name like she just knew you were going to say that.

"Life's not about the big moments." you went on "It's about the little ones. Sure, a wedding is a big moment, but building a marriage is a lot of little ones. The same is true of having a child - one massive change followed by a lifetime of little things."

"God, you sound like Mum." she criticised "And you don't get to lecture me, even if I am the younger one. Glass houses and all that."

"I'm not waiting for anything." you assured her.

"Then why are you still single?" she teased.

"Because I am." is all you said.

She let the subject drop at that, knowing exactly the type of trauma she'd dig up for the both of you if she continued along that line of thought.

The two of you talked for a long time, making several laps of the museum before you'd said everything you have to say. Anna left first through one exit, and you half an hour later through a different one. Anyone else would surely baulk at such precautions, but you only had to go through that bullshit once to learn your lesson where your safety was concerned.

After a brief stop at the supermarket to stuff your bags with human-necessities, you got the first of your three trains home, giving you plenty of time to do some more thinking. The fact that Anna and Sans had said the same thing to you today hadn't gone unnoticed. You wished you had thought of the same thing to tell him this morning, it seemed like good advice. Was it too late now?

But everything kept coming back to the same point - what were you going to do about the future? Sans and Papyrus were brothers, it was only natural that they would always be a part of each others lives, but to be so tangled in with the life of someone who was only just your friend... it wasn't normal, was it? It seemed socially expected that you would move out, or move on, because you were all just friends, not a couple building a life together. Why couldn't friends build a life together too? Rather than complicate things with all this romance crap? Because it was expected that romance would occur one day? And then your friends would feel betrayed at the change of plans? That can happen even in marriages - that's why divorce existed!

You once again thought of what would happen if one of your skels were to fall in love with someone and get married. Neither would ever leave their brother, and whoever they were with had to be okay with that. They'd probably bring them to the farm and raise their extended family together. Even if that kind of communal living didn't seem to be normal for monsters, you would have pegged those two for it. Once again the thought of either of them bringing a significant other home rose your hackles, but this time you looked past the initial distaste and examined those feelings properly.

You couldn't say anything to either of them until you had an answer to everything they might say. For that matter, it might all be for nought, since you had got this information from second-hand sources who could be completely wrong! You seriously considered that option as well, adding it to the pile of things you had to think about.

* * *

 

It was nearly midnight by the time you reached your home station, and you weren't looking forward to biking through those black country roads, especially as you could hardly keep your eyes open. You were alarmed for a moment to find that your bike wasn't where you had secured it, but relaxed when you saw it not far away in the bed of a familiar pick-up truck. Papyrus waved his arm out the window at you, smacking his brother awake with the other.

"Oh my god, you angels!" you cried as you threw your bags down and climbed into the back seat "What did I ever do to deserve you?"

"We thought you'd be tired." Papyrus explained "And it's dangerous to ride that bike with so many bags! Did you buy half the shop?!"

"Shit was on sale." you answered with a sigh, resting your head on the back of the front seat "And I mean it, why the hell are we even friends?"

Papyrus pulled a confused face, 2 and 2 not making 4 in his head.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I mean you guys are amazing!" you elaborated "You're kind, you're thoughtful, you're always there for me, and I'm...?"

You trailed off, not able to finish the sentence in any positive way. Luckily, you didn't have to.

"having self-confidence issues again." Sans finished for you.

"No I'm... wait, what do you mean 'again'?" you argued.

"hun, we love you, but you have some of the worst self-confidence issues i have ever seen."

"I do not."

"okay, so who didn't even consider that anonymous love letters delivered to your house might be for you and not anna?"

"Those weren't love letters, that guy was a stalker." you countered.

Papyrus just started the car and began the drive home.

"You're plenty amazing!" he assured you "Remember how you got me a gyftmas present the first year we met? I'd only known you three days at that point!"

"I was just trying to be nice." you grumbled.

"and who used to take me shopping with them to get me out of the house, and even wrote a whole nother list for the stuff we needed?"

"Trying to be helpful." you mumbled.

"and who always came to visit me in the hospital?" Sans went on.

"And who saved my life at risk of their own?" you pointed out, what you had considered the ultimate counter-point.

"and who was the one person who believed me when no-one else did?" he immediately argued.

"How many times do I have to apologise for that?" Papyrus grumbled.

"not about you, bro."

"Sorry. But Sans is right! You've done lots of wonderful things for us! Why, looking the way we do... even worse, the way we used to... even other monsters tend to stay away from us, but not you! 'Those broken, hideous skeletons? They're going to be my new best friends!' That's how I pictured it!"

"Then I won't tell you otherwise." you chuckled "But people weren't exactly lining up to be my friend either. Too scared of getting stabbed. I'm shocked you guys still wanted to be my friends after you learned about the kinds of things I did in the past."

"love, we _ate people_." Sans reminded you "and what did you do when you found out? did you go to the authorities? expose us to the monster-haters south of the border?"

"No-"

"no, you didn't." he finished "whatever's going on in that head of yours - relax. you're holding your weight on this three-legged stool just fine."

"Now there's a mental image." you chuckled.

"Is this what you've been thinking about?" Papyrus asked, glancing at you in the rear-view mirror "The thing that's been bothering you?"

"No." you confessed "That's something else."

"you want to talk about it?" 

"Tomorrow." you promised "After karaoke."

"Can't be that serious then..." Papyrus figured, visibly relaxing.

"dude, nothing interrupts karaoke night." Sans laughed "this week, i _will_ get grillby to sing!"         

You chuckled quietly as Sans went over his plan to get the bartender up on stage, pulling out his journal to go over his notes. You leaned back in your seat, and before you knew it, you were asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey peeps! I've come to a decision - there will be SMUT in this work! I left it out of the last one since I knew where the plot was going and it didn't feel like it really fit, but for this story it actually does. The other reason I've shied away from doing it before is not because it makes me uncomfortable, but because I'm afraid it'll end up too clinical sounding, a 'slot 'a' tab 'b'' kind of thing. But! I'm going to give it a try anyway! You guys have to give me honest reviews, too - if it's too cringy, you have to be honest about it! 
> 
> For those of who who don't read that type of thing, I'll make sure there's no plot stuff in the chapter, and warnings will be issued at the beginning. And it won't be the next one either, don't worry!


	4. An Important Conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day? What nonsense is this?!
> 
> Well, this one's pretty short, but I wanted it on it's own. In the next chapter, we can finally get this crazy train going!

Grillby did not sing. Not even when Sans changed the lyrics of [_Tequila_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hLQCA2h8kA) from 'Ode to Jose' to 'Ode to Grillby', which you thought was pretty clever. Jack got in on the teasing as well, singing [_The Bartender and the Thief_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MK9e692K7Zw), but the bartender himself would not be moved from his post. After Saturday night and Sunday lunchtime, karaoke night was the most popular time at the bar, and luckily for you food service was closed, so you got to hang out with your friends and neighbours and sing your heart out. No matter the weather, no matter the time of year, nothing interrupted karaoke night. It wasn't quite like being on stage with your teenage band, but it was as close as you could get, and the fact that everyone in the audience got up to sing after their personal alcohol limit had been reached made it all the better.  

The three of you didn't drink - you and Papyrus by choice and Sans by necessity - but you didn't need to, as you were all more than capable of getting wild without it. You had thought for certain Grillby was going to fire you after you got carried away and sang [_Lady Marmalade_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQa7SvVCdZk) at the top of your lungs while dancing on a table one time, but luckily for you your boss had a good sense of humour. This particular karaoke night ended without any such excitement, and the three of you arrived home late in the evening. Or early in the morning, depending on your point of view.

You would have been happy to let the evening end there, but you had made a promise, and neither you nor the boys were going to let you forget it. 

It's an unspoken rule of life that anything said around a kitchen table at night had to be taken seriously, so that was where you sat, huddled together at the end of the long dining suite. Papyrus made a pot of tea, which sat between you with some rich tea biscuits on each saucer. Sans yawned, but didn't complain about the late hour as you had both skeletons undivided attention.

"So, what's been bothering me..." you began, blowing on your tea "The thing I want to talk about is... what we're going to do about the future."

Papyrus immediately jumped up in alarm, but in a rare display of quick reflexes, Sans grabbed his arm and pulled him back down, eyes not leaving you for a second.

"go on." he bid.

"I've been hearing some talk lately." you said "From mutual acquaintances of ours - they seem to think that you guys have feelings for me. Both of you."

The two shared a look, but not one of surprise. More like they were trying to figure out who told you, silently throwing names between their eyes.

"Is it true?" you finished.

The skeletons looked at each other again, and you noticed Sans hand was still on his brothers arm. Their silent conversation ended as they looked back at you.

"Yes."

"yeah, it is."

"I see." you answered soberly, sipping your drink.

"I-Is that what's been bothering you?" Papyrus asked nervously "The idea that we care for you in a greater than strictly friendly way?"

"No." you reassured "It just took me a little while to figure out exactly how I felt about it."

"Should we be concerned that it took so long?"

You smile to reassured him again, taking his other hand, which he seemed to appreciate as he gripped it tightly.

"No." you promised "But you know you guys are my best friends, and we live together. I had to be sure I handled this correctly."

The relief that washed over the skeletons was palpable, but they retained a certain nervous stiffness as they awaited your verdict.

"so, uh... how do you feel?" Sans asked, taking his journal from his pocket and preparing to write down what you said.

"You two don't seem very surprised." you noted "Have you talked about this before?"

"yes."

"A lot, actually!"

"And why did you never say anything to me? How long has this even been going on for?"

"i understand how you feel, but allow me to assure you that we had a very, very good reason." Sans assured.

"And that is?" you asked.

Sans face immediately fell into a blank panic, and you knew he had forgotten what their very, very good reason was.

"papyrus?" he passed.

"Well... you see..." he started nervously, fiddling with your fingers "H... he-who-can't-be-named always-"

"Voldemort's involved with this?!" you cried to break the mood "How deep do the lies go, Papyrus?!"

Sans burst out laughing. Papyrus seemed surprised a moment, then chuckled when he realised what you were trying to do, forcing himself to relax.

"Red." he said as if the word tasted bad in his mouth "He liked to take your choices away, by trickery or by force. Despite the fact we're all equals here, we understand how the scales of power could be seen to be tipped in our favour."

"we own the house and the land." Sans agreed "and you've been in a bad spot. even if you moved out tomorrow, it's not like you could go back to your family."

"We wanted you to know that we respected your choices!" Papyrus finished "Whatever they were! Even if they weren't... us..."

"So you would have been okay if I fell in love with someone else?" you asked.

The silence that met your question told you all you needed.

"your friendship was never a consolation prize." Sans said seriously "no matter how we had you, as long as you were in our lives-"

"But how do you feel?" Papyrus interrupted, leaning forward eagerly "You haven't said!"

You leaned back, trying to appear relaxed, even though your insides were squirming.

"I was shocked at first." you admitted "I had never considered either of you in a romantic sense, and you both know perfectly well why."

Because you hadn't considered anyone. After everything that happened with Red, all the trust issues you had exposed, all the paranoia you had confirmed, getting into another relationship just wasn't on the cards.

"But the more I thought about it, the more I realised." you went on "If I was going to be with anyone, it would have been one of you. You guys have proven countless times that I can trust you, that you're on the level, that what we have isn't all a part of some scheme you've worked up... if I was ever going to risk loving again, it would be one of you."

"'one' of us?" Sans picked up.

You felt your face grow hot.

"Well, that's the problem." you admitted "I could never choose one of you over the other. I could never do that to my friends, and the two of you are brothers... I'd never put that kind of rift between you. And the idea of... _both_..."

Your face was practically on fire now. This hadn't gone unnoticed.

"I mean, I... I know it's a thing, but... I... I don't know... how I feel about it...?" you told them, staring at the wood on the table so hard you missed the look they gave each other.

"okay, let's backtrack a little." Sans bid "you've talked about what you could or couldn't do, but not how you feel. how do you _feel_ about us?"

They both looked at you expectantly, both eager and terrified. You knew you held their souls in your hand right now, but they were safe in your grip.

"I had never considered either of you that way." you repeated "But that was because of me, not you. I love you both, you know that. I'm happy with the life that we've built, and when I think about the future, it's impossible to not see you there. The idea of either of you finding someone else and bringing them into our home makes me jealous and possessive, and I don't like feeling that way. I know it's incredibly selfish when I can't give you a straight answer, but that's how I feel..."

You took a deep breath and sighed it out, turning to your pensive housemates.

"Your turn." you said.

They looked at each other again, but they both knew Sans would let Papyrus go first.

"You're the very first human who reached out to me." the taller skel began "Being your best friend was the greatest feeling in the world. You saw my broken face and my weird limbs and my wheezing and still said 'I like you'. Even when I told you about... the things we had to do... to survive... you didn't run away. You kept being my friend. When I realised I was in love with you, I was scared at first. We were all trying so hard to heal, to rebuild our lives, I knew what you really needed from me was to be your friend, and nothing else. I thought the feelings might go away, but... they didn't."

"not a lot of people would put up with me." Sans took over "between my memory problems, my narcolepsy, the gaping hole in my head and my winning jokes, i'm not exactly beating potential mates off with a stick. but your patience never ran out. even when i fucked up bad, you forgave me. you helped me when you didn't have to, you owed me nothing, but you still held my hand so i wouldn't get lost, you still came to the hospital to play chess with me, you still trusted me when i couldn't trust myself... i fell in love with your kindness. when i look at you... i'm home."

You were officially speechless, covering your mouth with your hand. What could you say to such earnestness?

"Sans and I talked about it." Papyrus told you "Whatever you choose, we'll respect it. One of us, both of us, neither of us... as long as you're in our lives, that's the important thing."

"I..." 

You sighed wretchedly. The last thing you wanted was to hurt either of them, but could you possibly... both? Wouldn't neither be better, so they could find someone who actually deserved great monsters like them?

"how about a trial?" Sans recommended suddenly, somehow seeing where your train of thought was going.

"A trial?"

"date the both of us, see how you feel about it." he elaborated "if it's too weird for you, or if you prefer one over the other, then we'll sit down and talk it out again."

"Sans, the choice is-" Papyrus began.

"No, it's a good idea." you interrupted "That's the best possible timeline, right? We should aim for that first. If it can't be done, we need to know that sooner rather than later."

"I don't want to pressure you!" he said immediately " _We_ don't want to pressure you!"   

"You aren't." you assured him "If anything... this needs to happen. Whether it works out or not, it needs to occur, for all our sakes. I can't leave you guys in limbo forever, and the clock is ticking for me. We all need to think about the future, and if it's together or not."

"I... I really hope it is..." Papyrus finished.

"Me too." you said.

The tall skeleton laughed nervously, shaking the tension from his shoulders. Sans was scribbling furiously in his journal.

"So what now?" you asked.

"We should go on a date!" Papyrus announced.

"Why?"

His face fell, like he couldn't fathom why you would ask that. Sans looked up from his note-taking with a raised brow bone.   

"I always thought dating was a way to try and get to know each other." you elaborated "Try and figure out if you could work together. But we all know each other very well already. I don't know if I see the point in expensive outings just to learn stuff we already know about each other."

Sans just chuckled while Papyrus opened his mouth to argue, thought about it, and closed it again, rubbing his chin with his hand, knocking his glasses a little.

"So... we're skipping dating?" he asked "And jumping straight into being 'together'?"

"Makes sense to me." you shrugged.

"Oh..." he thought again, suddenly smiling as he stood up "That makes things so much easier!"

With a single stride of his long legs, he walked around the table to where you sat, leaned down, and pressed his teeth to your cheek in a skeleton kiss.

"Goodnight, darling!" he bid happily, going up to bed without another word.

Your face had never been more on fire than it was right then. You were blushing so brightly that you could see it.

Sans just chuckled again, catching your attention as he scribbled his last few notes.

"are you sure this is what you want?" he asked "i know it was my idea, but i don't want you to feel pressured because it's two against one."

"I don't feel pressured." you assured him "But I am nervous. I don't exactly have a lot of experience in relationships, and what I do have is pretty bad, so I'm not sure how to proceed..."

"don't look at me, i'm not exactly casanova." he agreed "i guess we'll be figuring it out together."

He closed the journal, sticking it back in his pocket as he stood up.

"welp, i'm going to grillby's." he said.

"We just got back from Grillby's." you pointed out "And it's closed?"

"i won't be long. don't wait up."

Sans leaned down, and you thought he was going to kiss you on the cheek like Papyrus had, but no - he aimed straight for the goal, pressing his teeth to your lips. You were so shocked by the sudden affection that you didn't move as he shortcut away. You couldn't even say how long you were sat there on your todd before you startled back to life, going to lock up the house and go to bed. Passing the first floor bedrooms, you saw Sans had already returned home and was throwing off his jacket and slippers, giving you a coy smile as he closed his bedroom door. As you reached your own bedroom, your phone dinged. The message was from Grillby.

'Sans just appeared, hugged me, and disappeared again.' it read 'Good news, I take it?" 


	5. A Sudden Realisation

For Sans, the realisation that he loved you had come like a bolt from the blue. He had always found you attractive, but he wasn't foolish enough to mess around with his brothers best friend when there were no feelings involved. However, the more time you had spent together, the more he had grown to like you, until you moved from being 'Papyrus' friend' to 'my friend.' The first time you had knocked on his door not looking for his brother, but inviting him on an amble around the park because he hadn't left the house in a week, it had come as quite a surprise, but a pleasant one.

Your kindness and patience didn't seem to have an end when it came to him, so he was certain that they would have been your soul traits, but to learn that it was love didn't surprise him either. Even when he frustrated himself with how useless he had become, forgetting something he knew for a fact he had been told not thirty seconds ago, you remained understanding, repeating yourself as many times as it took to get the job done.

But even you had your limits, of course.

It had been during your first winter here, back when you were still living in the barn and trying to get the foundations of the house sorted. It would not. Stop. Raining. Sans had never seen so much rain, days and nights of it on and on. The yard was nothing but mud, the fields flooded out, and between the holes in the roof and the holes in the floors, the foundation of the house was now a swimming pool. Barns aren't exactly built to be lived in, and the basic conditions were starting to get to everyone.  The boys had let you have the loft, but it didn't exactly have a bedroom, so privacy for any of you was a rare thing. The only running water was from an outside tap, meaning you could only shower at an understanding Grillby's place, and you were reduced to cooking on a portable stove and hotplate.

Add into that the fact that you were all getting over what had happened courtesy of the Fell brothers - Papyrus once again having his face broken and painfully mended, Sans confronting painful memories he had done his best to forget, but couldn't thanks to a certain word carved into his arm, and you for... _everything_ \- and it was safe to say things were a little tense. You didn't look like you were sleeping properly, you had lost weight, you were irritable and missed your family. It was a bad time for all of you.

"Sans, did you get the water?" you had asked, preparing ingredients for dinner that night.

Sans knew he had been staring into space, because he couldn't remember anything that happened before that.

"um..."

Without looking at him, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath, blowing it slowly out of your nose. He knew immediately it wasn't the first time you had asked. He hoped it hadn't been more than three times... He got up from the sofa, walked over to where the fridge was plugged into the generator, and got the milk out, going over and placing it on the table beside you carefully. You just side-eyed it.

"that... that's not what you asked for, is it?" he realised.

"No." you confirmed "No it isn't."

"sorry."

He stuffed his hands in his pockets and shuffled off, forgetting to put the milk back in the fridge. He only remembered when the sound of smashing glass rang out in the hollow structure - in a fit, you had picked up the bottle and thrown it against the wall, where it exploded in a shower of glass and lactose. He was shocked - he had never once seen you act in genuine temper. Your shoulders were shaking, your breathing heavy, fists clenched. You were trying not to cry. Sans immediately felt like shit.

"i'm sorry..." he said so quietly it was practically a whisper.

"I don't care about the fucking water!" you screamed, making him flinch.

No matter how hard you screwed your eyes shut, the tears wouldn't stop. When you spun around, Sans expected you to storm out into the rain, or push him aside and go up into the loft with a frustrated scream, but you didn't. Instead, you dove into his chest, clinging to his shirt, and started to cry. Tears of anger, stress and pain stained his t-shirt, your shoulders shaking erratically as you failed to control your breathing. 

Sans was speechless. You had come to him for support, for comfort. You, who were so strong and stubborn, had come to him when the world finally overwhelmed you.

The lightning struck. That very moment he knew he was in love with you.

Perhaps thinking you were making him uncomfortable, you shifted to move away, but he grabbed you, wrapping his arms around you. You seemed to take this as your green light, as you leaned against him further and wrapped your arms as far around his large frame as they would go, sobbing muffled cries. He held you until you calmed down, shushing you and stroking your hair. Even after you stopped crying and needed a moment just to breathe, he kept holding you, keeping you safe in his arms until you were ready to face the world again.

After a while, you moved away from him calmly, and he finally let you go, keeping his arms ready if you needed them again. Your beautiful eyes were still glistening with tears, but they didn't fall.

"better?" he asked.

"Yeah." you confirmed, wiping the last of the tears away "I'm sorry."

"it's okay. no-one is strong all the time." he assured "i just have one question."

"What's that?" you asked.

"why is there milk all over the wall?"

You had laughed.

"It doesn't matter." you told him, shaking your head as your smile returned "Let's go to Grillby's."

Sans forgot many things, but he didn't forget that. 

Just like that, you became his. Not in the same way Red had thought you belonged to him - he wouldn't let himself stray down that path, even though he knew he might be capable of it. Red was his alternate, after all... No, you became his Most Precious Person. Papyrus remained his Most Important Person, but Sans knew you would understand that. Your happiness, your comfort, your safety, became his number one priority, not because he wanted to woo you, to have you return his feelings, but because he wanted you to _be_ happy, to _be_ comfortable, to _be_ safe. He feathered the nest the three of you were building, and sat back and watched as you bloomed into your true self - no awkward adolescence, no ingrained cynicism, no fear of what was around the corner. The more comfortable you felt, the safer you felt, the more you shined. You had a new smile, one he had never seen before, wide and genuine, and he loved it. He loved that he helped bring that out of you.

He loved you.

He loved you enough to want what was best for you, even if it wasn't him. He never considered being your friend to be second place to being your mate, as long as he could be beside you. The things Red had done, the way he had messed with your head, meant there was no way you would consider another romantic relationship for a very, very long time, if at all, and Sans was always scared that he would end up reminding you of the Fell. As such, he kept his feelings to himself, content to just be there with you, and let the cards fall where they may.

Until he walked in on his brother almost having a panic attack, resulting in a long conversation about what the problem was. Once the subject was bought up, Papyrus quickly saw through his brother, resulting in another long conversation about what they were going to do about it. Having lived through both countless lives of resets and the famine together, there was nothing the two couldn't talk about any more. It was just one of the reasons his brother was so cool.

Sans was bought back to the here and now as the front door slammed open, some keys tossed violently into the bowl beside it. Curious, he got up from the sofa and went to see who it was.

He bit back a laugh when he saw you - judging by the look and smell of your hair, it had caught fire, but clearly not in the rain which had soaked you on the drive home. Your trousers were torn on one knee, Grillby's healing magic was radiating from your arm, and the look on your face was so fucking DONE.

"bad day?" he asked.

You threw your helmet on the ground, walked right up to him, buried your face in his jumper, and screamed. He stood there, still trying not to laugh as you got it out of your system. Remembering that he could now, he put his hands on your hips.

"better?" he asked as the muffled cries stopped, your weight leaning into him.

"I never thought I would hate puppies." you told him.

"they got in the kitchen?"

"They got in the kitchen."

"aw, ducky..." he chuckled, wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his face in your hair "anything i can do to help you feel better?"

"Feed me pizza and tell me I'm pretty." you grumbled as you hugged him back.

He knew you were joking, but he was never one to turn down such a request, as he pulled his phone from his pocket and started to tell you exactly how attractive he thought you were.

You were so damn cute when you're embarrassed, it was downright criminal.

* * *

 

You had never considered buying a giant koala, but if you had, you imagined it would be a lot like Sans - massive, clingy, and surprisingly warm. Ever since your late night conversation, the courteous half-arm distance Sans had always kept from you disappeared, and he stuck to you like he was scared of getting lost if you weren't right next to him. If the two of you were in the same room, he was touching you somehow - holding your hand, leaning against your side, or more often than not hugging you from behind with his chin rested on top of your head, or if he was feeling particularly cuddly, on your shoulder.

You didn't particularly mind. He respected your wishes when you told him to let go, and it wasn't like he followed you to work. In fact, he was there no more than he had been before. Being all cuddly was kind of nice, truth be told, and while skeletons weren't the softest of creatures, he never held you so tightly that it became painful. Aside from being more physically clingy, your relationship with Sans didn't seem to change much. He had always been pretty honest with you - he said that his memory problems made lies and secrets too difficult to keep track of - so you didn't expect much of a difference. The most notable change was that he seemed much happier to hang out in your room with you in the evening, falling asleep on your bed while you were reading or browsing the internet, grumbling and shuffling off back to his room when you wanted to go to bed. He had rarely entered your room before, considering it too personal, but now it seemed like it was open season.  

Despite the lack of privacy, his presence never felt invasive - it was more like background noise than anything else, like the hum of an old boiler you'd tuned out years ago. Oh, Sans is here? Of course he is.

You pondered that as you sat on the folding chair at the back of the rickety stall. The first Saturday of every month was the Makers Market, when the local farmers, producers and artisans set up wooden stalls in town centre to sell their wares directly. People would come from miles around, humans and monsters alike, some coming every month without fail, to buy produce or furniture. Since everyone who lived here was either working the market or staying home to avoid the madness, Grillby didn't bother to open, leaving you free to help Sans on his vegetable stall. You never ceased to find it amazing how much more people were willing to pay for his stuff because it was organic, the only pesticides used being hungry chickens.

Over the crowd on the other side of the market, you could just make out Papyrus' head as he and Jack sold their wares and took commissions for more repair jobs, the light hitting his glasses just so that it made it look like everything was going according to plan.

A loud snore bought you back to attention - Sans had promptly fallen asleep, slumped over in his chair, and in the middle of serving a customer!

"I...is he alright?" the middle-aged man asked.

"Narcolepsy." you explained simply, getting up to finish the job "Was is just these you were after?"

The man smiled, and you immediately knew what was coming.

"I know it says four, but would you accept three-fifty?" he asked. 

"I wouldn't." you replied happily, your pay-up-and-get-out tone clear.

He didn't say anything else as he payed and left. He wasn't the first bastard that had tried to get something for cheaper because Sans wasn't around. No-one had succeeded yet. The rabbits on the other side of the aisle to you burst out laughing, having seen this far too many times themselves. The sound roused Sans, who woke up with a splutter.

"wha... where... _fuck_."

He scrambled back up, patting down his pockets and looking all around the floor for anything he might have dropped before looking at you sheepishly.

"sorry."

"You're alright." you assured.

"how long?"

"Just a couple of minutes."

With a fed-up sigh, he shook his head and wrapped his arms around your back, putting his chin on your head.

"sorry." he said again.

"I said it's alright." you reminded him "It's not like it's the first time."

A squeal caught your attention, followed by a flutter of green flame. Fuku ran up to the stall, excited stars in here eyes.

"I knew it!" she said "I knew you two were a couple!"

"Couple of what?" you and Sans said at the same time, making you both giggle.

"Dad!" Fuku cried back into the crowd "Come look!"

Poor Grillby looked haggard already, laden down with bags and knocked too and fro by the crowd. Look's like someone was spoiling his daughter again. Seeing the two of you, however, brought a smile to his face.

"You look cosy." he noted.

Sans chuckled, moving his chin from your head to your shoulder. You knew he had to lean down a little to accomplish this, so you couldn't imagine what it must look like from any other angle.

"Out shopping?" you distracted.

"Not even denying it?" Fuku teased.

"can't deny the truth, kiddo."

"Oh my god!" she squealed "When are you getting married?!"

"when are _you_ getting married?" Sans countered immediately, before you could even get embarrassed "i hear you and your girlfriend have been doing the ol' 'meet the parents' thing."

"Sans!" she cried, flaring a deeper shade of green "It's not the same thing! You guys are adults!"

Sans just stuck his tongue out, grinning at her. Keen for a change of subject, you turned to the human man looking over the fresh produce.

"Good afternoon!" you greeted "Looking for anything in particular?"

In your peripheral, you saw Grillby chuckle.

"Actually, yes." the man told you "I'm a buyer for a chain of grocers up in Ebbott city, and I've been looking for good quality organic produce. You've got some impressive stuff here! Could I possibly get your number to discuss future business dealings?"

"uh..." was Sans' only response, and you could imagine his red eye was nothing but an overwhelmed pinprick.

"We don't make any business decisions without all our partners present." you told him courteously "But if you give me your card, we can discuss it later and call you." 

"Sure." the man agreed with a happy smile, fishing into the inner pocket of his suit and pulling out a silver card box "Here, please, call me any time!"

After a few more pleasantries, the man left with a friendly wave. No-one said anything until he was out of earshot.

"Your free-holding isn't nearly big enough-" Grillby started.

"we're not seriously gonna?" Sans asked.

"Are you not going to work with my dad any more?" Fuku finished.

"No and no." you informed them, watching the mans back as he retreated through the crowd "If that man was a buyer for a grocers, I'm King Asgore."

"you've lost weight since the last time I saw you, your highness." Sans teased, giving your belly a squeeze.

"Be serious." you scolded "A chain of stores big enough to have buyers would hire experts. An expert in fresh produce would be a farmer, or a successful grocer themselves."

"So?" Fuku asked.

"I've never met a single farmer with nails that clean." you pointed out "Cut nicely too, like he had time to do them. And that card case was hallmarked silver, expensive, more than a farmer or grocer could afford."

You looked at the card. Nowhere did it mention the grocery chain the man supposedly worked for, just his name and phone number. Your suspicions only grew.

"His shoes were polished, and he's wearing cufflinks." you went on "Not to mention he smells like an explosion in a perfume factory. Whoever he is, he's not a grocer."

Both Grillby and Sans knew you well enough to take your words seriously, staring after the man as you did. Fuku didn't know what to make of it, looking between the adults as you shoved the card in your pocket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, Papyrus fans - the tol bois chapter is next!


	6. A Slow Dawn

Papyrus remembered perfectly the first time he met you. It was his first day working at the supermarket in the (former) new town, and he was being passed from pillar to post by the other employees, none of them wanting to train him for more than a couple of minutes. He tried not to take it personally - he knew his wheezing, and the rattling of his ribs was off putting, and the way he had to lean so close to be able to see the screen of the till made people uncomfortable. It made his training hard to follow, however, as it kept stopping and starting. One of his former colleagues reached the end of their tolerance, calling you over from where you were stocking the chewing gum nearby.

The skeleton was actually scared of you, until he got ahold of himself and told himself to stop being daft - you looked like trouble, with sharp eyes that seemed to look right into his soul, and a 'come at me bro' attitude that was backed up by your LV, which was most definitely not 1... However, he held his tongue and smiled as best he could with his broken teeth, reminding himself that good people came from bad circumstances too. You introduced yourself well enough, and for the sixth time that day he started his till training over from scratch. Once again, he had to lean right down by your ear in order to see the screen. After about three minutes, you stopped talking and looked at him, and he thought he had reached a new record of making someone uncomfortable.

"Do you need an inhaler?" you asked him.

"An inhaler?" he repeated.

"You're wheezing."

"Oh! No, I have no lungs." he explained "An inhaler wouldn't do much."

"How are you wheezing at all with no lungs?" you asked, honestly curious rather than confrontational.

Unfortunately, he didn't have a good answer for that.

"Magic?"

You had just looked at him, cocked your eyebrow, and turned back to the screen to point out the next thing.

"A-also!" Papyrus suddenly said, eager to keep the ball rolling now a casual rapport had been established "I'm sorry for my breath... it's a little hard to brush my teeth most days."

You had just hummed, which he took as a sign that you didn't care, and went back to the training.

That assumption had been incorrect, however - you had caught up to him by the end of his shift and presented him with a small bag of items: an infants toothbrush with bristles softer than kitten fluff, a bottle of breath spray and some eucalyptus ointment. He still had the toothbrush, although obviously he didn't use it anymore, but it was the very first thing his precious friend had given him, so of course he kept it.

Being your friend was surprisingly easy. You reminded him a lot of a hedgehog - prickly on the surface, but soft and warm underneath. Whenever he had a problem at work, you were his go-to person for help, and you even defended him to his boss a couple of times. He felt a little silly relying on a teenager for assistance, but you had a confidence and maturity which made you seem much older. The first time you hung out socially was when Papyrus had admitted his new home was lacking certain necessities, and you had insisted on taking him shopping somewhere you knew them to be cheap. He had never hung out with a human before, but the more time he spent with you, the less human you became to him, which really wasn't the insult it seemed.

He felt incredibly safe going out in public with you - you were cautious without being patronising, attentive without being overbearing. More than once you stopped him from getting run over a speeding car he simply didn't see, or warning him of a low hanging sign that he was bound to hit his head on, but you did it so casually, it was like you had no idea that these small acts of care and attention were having a permanent affect on him.  

He only ever saw you get violent once: some asshole across the street had thrown a half-full milkshake at him, which he hadn't seen in time to stop it, ruining his new crop top. Without a word, you had picked up what was left of the milkshake, crossed the street, beaten the ever loving snot out of a man twice your size while his friends watched in shock, and poured the milkshake over his traumatised, crying form before beaming the cup at his head and walking calmly back across the street like nothing had happened. Even though it had been for his benefit, it did make him wonder whether being scared of you was a good idea afterall.

After a few days of pondering it, he had stopped by your house to share his concerns early one morning, only to find you and your sister had both overslept, and were rushing around like mad things trying to get ready. As you held a purple baby monster in one arm, shoving a cold piece of pizza in your face with the other, and getting so mixed up what was yours and what was Anna's that you ended up putting the baby in the school bag and the pizza in the pram, Papyrus realised that being honestly scared of you was probably impossible. The look on your face when you went to buckle up the pram and realised your mistake was nothing short of hilarious. 

That was the day you were upgraded from 'friend' to 'best friend'.

Papyrus could talk to you about anything - you were a great listener, and while gossip wasn't really your thing, you'd let Papyrus prattle on to his hearts content. When he told you that his landlord was giving him a hard time because the local pets were _~~getting eaten by his brother~~_ going missing mysteriously, you hadn't hesitated to tell him that the house next to yours was empty, and even asked your lawyer foster mother to help him get out of his lease.

He was nervous about you meeting Sans for the first time, between your temper and his memory lapses, reminding you again and again of his brothers issues before introducing you, but he had been pleasantly surprised. You showed his brother a patience he had never seen from another human. You repeated conversations, you made allowances, you wrote things down... the first time Sans told him that you took him out sometimes for a walk, or to the supermarket, or just to sit around your place with Nana and the baby because he hadn't left the house in a while, was the day you were officially upgraded to 'best friend for life'.

Not that everything was roses. You still had a temper, and were working through your own issues to do with your upbringing, along with the turbulence of adolescence itself. Several times you appeared at his door in the middle of the night because you had had a fight with your foster parents, or had gotten into a fight with some asshole and didn't want them to see you cut and bruised. Once or twice you were just shaking and crying, not obviously injured, and he never got an explanation as to what was wrong as he held you in his arms until you calmed down. More than a few times he had to physically restrain you from breaking someones kneecaps, especially when it was your little sister they had crossed.

Eventually, you left the supermarket and moved on to the Second Chance cafe, where you were wait staff for all of a month before your promotion to chef. It was so much fun trying out new recipes with you, getting covered with flour and setting the kitchen on fire. It reminded him of... of someone else who was once very dear to him. It was when you bought a slab of meat to his place - what it was he couldn't even remember - and it caused him to have a traumatic episode, that he had to confront an uncomfortable truth. He had to tell you what he had done during the famine, what he had eaten, what his role in the whole thing had been.

He didn't want to. He really didn't want to. He liked you, you were his friend! But you had always been honest with him, and he owed you the truth as well. He asked you over, put the kettle on, and prepared himself for the worst. He couldn't even look at you, staring resolutely at his shaking hands, wrapped around his mug of tea, as he told you the worst thing he had ever done. You had listened, silent, not asking any questions as his tale concluded. You were silent for a moment more, then took his hand, the other going to his chin to make him look at you.

"It's easy to get desensitised when you're surrounded by that kind of horror on a daily basis." you said softly, no hint of judgement in your voice "But it's important to draw a distinction between who you are and what you did. 'What you did' is what happens when you have no choice, and 'who you are' is what happens when you do. I know who you are, Sugar, and what you did doesn't change that. You're my friend, no matter what. I was a little scared of you when we first met, but now? Even after hearing this, there's no way I ever would be."

" _You_ were scared of _me_?!" Papyrus had cried, utterly shocked.

"Yeah, for like five minutes." you admitted with an embarrassed shrug "You're so damn tall and quiet, and you'd just appear out of nowhere, it was weird. But then I got to know you and realised you're just a massive dork, and honestly, who could be scared of someone who wears pastel tie-dye crop tops?"    

The skeleton was completely speechless. He had no choice but to upgrade you to the highest possible tier of friend - 'for life, ride or die, no backsies five-ever friend'. You had earned it.

You lived up to it, too. Movie nights, sleep overs, celebrations of all sizes, sharing puzzles and problems, it was the best. Papyrus could be his true self with you, and you with him, and as you both healed from your respective traumas and grew into this strange world together, you only became closer.

And then Red turned up, and everything went bad.

Papyrus didn't need to think twice about whether or not he was going to help you. When it was finally all over and you needed to get away somewhere secret, he again hadn't hesitated to spirit you away with them in the middle of the night. You had a lot of healing to do, and as your best friend he was duty bound to help you with it. He helped you out wherever he could, whether it be reaching things on high shelves, telling you jokes to cheer you up, or letting you crawl into his bed and holding you when you had nightmares.

One day, after he told you a particularly bad joke that had you clutching your sides, Papyrus noticed that your smile was ever so slightly crooked.

 _Cute!,_ he had thought.

Shortly after, he was watching you make Sunday lunch in Grillby's kitchen when the bar had closed for the half day, the radio playing as Sans and Grillby talked about the old times and Fuku finished her homework. You were dancing as you cooked, swaying gently when you had a sharp knife in your hand, making much more elaborate gestures when you didn't.

 _How charming!_ was the thought that crossed his mind before he got up to dance with you, earning a round of applause from the other three when the song finished.

About a month later, Sans was having a relapse, struggling to remember where he was from day to day, clinging to any anchor he could find, which was often you. Papyrus had come home from work one day to find you on the sofa, Sans crying ugly tears into your lap, as you sang softly to him and stroked his head.

 _How loving..._ he had pondered before going to prepare dinner himself.

Such incidents repeated themselves for a few months, and each time Papyrus found a new facet of you that enchanted him. Helping Fuku with her homework? How responsible! Puppy-sitting three newborns for their exhausted parents? How helpful! The way the sun hit your skin in the autumn evening, making it glow with warmth as your gentle gaze turned to him, smile on your just parted lips... beautiful, wonderful, enchanting!

And then one day it clicked, completely at random as he was browsing the internet for your birthday present, exactly how badly he had fallen in love with you. He almost had a heart attack when he did - he was your friend, how could be betray you like that?! After everything you had been through with Red, he couldn't possibly tell you, you'd never talk to him again! That was the point that Sans had found him, encouraging him to talk about what the issue was.

If not for Sans' support, Papyrus might have lost it. You kept on being adorable, charming, alluring...! You kept on being his friend, completely oblivious to his less than platonic love for you, and he kept up the pretence until such a time that you might, maybe, possibly, be willing to try and perhaps love him back...? Weather permitting?

Well, it was a bright spring day now, and Papyrus thought about everything that had led him to his point as he watched you feed the chickens. You had agreed to be together. To hell with dating, you said, it was a waste of time, you said, let's just be together. He couldn't quite believe it was real. He wasn't sure what to do. Would things change? He was pretty happy with how things were, but he would like to be closer. Closer how, though?

"You okay, Shug?" you called over the yard, startling him out of his thoughts.

It had been a while since you called him Sugar, and it kind of felt like a step back.

"I'm fine." he answered, adjusting his glasses "Why do you ask?"

"Because I can hear you wheezing from here." you told him.

Throwing the rest of the chicken feed down, you walked back over and gestured for him to lean down, which he did.

"I'm sure it's just pollen." he said "Remember last year? I was wheezing up a storm when the grass pollen started."

Even so, you hummed as you looked closely at his nose hole and the back of his mouth.

"I'm getting you some ointment anyway." you told him "How's you chest? Does it hurt?"

"A little." he said.

Stars, you had beautiful eyes.

"Where?" you asked, looking at him in concern.

He took your hand, pressing it to his sternum, where he knew the human heart to be.

"Here." he said, not taking his eyes off you.

"Here?" you repeated, confused "You never had a break he-"

You were stopped as he kissed you on the mouth. You went stiff for just a moment, then relaxed. After a few seconds, he backed off. Your face had gone completely red.

"I... I'm still getting you some ointment..." you had murmured, looking anywhere but at him.

"Okay." he answered with a smile "Come home soon."

Papyrus released your hand, stepping away and into the house, and closed the door behind him.

He reached his limit. With an inhuman squeal, his face lit up the brightest shade of orange it was possible, pulling his collar over it to hide his embarrassment as his knees gave out on him.

"I DID IT!" he screamed into the fabric "I ACTUALLY DID IT!!!!"

(Stood right outside the door, you never had the heart to tell him you heard the whole thing...)

* * *

"Spaghetti."

"Iberian ham."

"Macaroon."

"Nutmeg."

"Goose fat."

"That's not a food." Papyrus argued.

"You ever make roast potatoes without it, though?" you countered "It makes all the difference."

"Okay, sure, but you never go to the fridge and think, wow, I'm really in the mood for a big mouthful of slimy goose fat, do you?"

"Fine." you sighed "Grapes."

Papyrus stretched before his next turn. It concerned you a little, seeing as you were currently on the roof of Jacks two story shop, but the skeleton had good enough reflexes that you didn't need to worry too much. It was your lunch break, and the two of you were cloud gazing as you ate, up on the roof as it was the best way to avoid customers on such a lovely day.

"Citron." Papyrus said.

"That's a 'c', not an 's'." you pointed out.

"Curses!"

"Also a 'c'."

Papyrus let out a frustrated noise, making you chuckle.

"Just admit I win." you teased.

"Never!" he cried stubbornly "I will not be beaten at my own word game!"

You full on laughed, sitting up and brushing the crumbs from the front of your shirt as you checked the time on your phone. A second of carelessness was all it took to lose your balance on the steep rooftop, but Papyrus' aforementioned quick reflexes struck much faster than your own, catching you and pulling you into his arms before you were even sure you had slipped.

"Close one." you gasped "Good looking out."

When you looked into his face, you saw he had an odd, unsure expression that didn't suit him at all. You waited for him to say what was on his mind.

"A...Are we doing this right?" he asked.

"Doing what right?"

"Being 'together'." he elaborated "I mean, I've read books about dating, but we skipped that stage, so I'm not sure... if we're doing it right?"

You thought for a moment. Other than the occasional kiss and his earnest attempts to be smooth, nothing had really changed between you. You could understand why he would be confused.

"I don't think there is a way to do it 'right'." you justified "It's 'right' as long as it works, right?"

He grumbled incoherently, looking away from you.  

"You don't think it's working?" you inquired, a little surprised at the painful skip your heart made.

"Kinda...?" he admitted carefully.

"Okay." you reasoned "So, what would you change?"

"I..." his face went bright orange "I don't know..."

"You do know." you were sure "You're just embarrassed to say so."

"I..." somehow, it went even brighter "Um... k-kiss?"

"You want more kisses?"

His face was now bright enough to guide aeroplanes at night, and he still wasn't looking at you as he nodded. You obliged, kissing him on his teeth, his left cheek, then his right. He was clearly as happy as he was embarrassed, bones rattling a little.

"What else?" you asked him.

"Uh... um... I, uh..."

Stars, this was the cutest thing you'd ever seen. You'd never seen him so adorably unsure of himself. You kind of wanted to tease him, but you thought his head might just explode into a cloud of neon orange if you did.

"...Kiss..." he said again, voice shaking.

You huffed goodnaturedly, leaning in for another kiss, when his hand moved to the back of your head, teeth parting to reveal his conjured tongue. You weren't expecting the deep kiss that followed to come from such a nervous skel, but his shaking bones quickly melted into something more confident, holding you steady on the steep roof while also embracing you, his other hand sliding down to your hip. You were left a little breathless when it ended, certain you were blushing just as hard as he was, but he looked satisfied.

"Was that okay?" he asked quietly.

"That was... certainly something..." you told him.

"Something bad?"

"Not at all."

"Can I do it again?"

"I wish you would."

You leaned up as Papyrus leaned back down. Just as your lips were about to touch, the skylight slammed open, Jack poking his head out.

"Lad!" he yelled "Breaks over, get back to-!"

Upon seeing you, both flustered and trying to straighten up after being caught in an intimate moment, he smirked as his realised what he interrupted.

"Oops."

"'Oops'?! Papyrus yelled at him "'OOPS?! JACK, YOU ABSOLUTE COCK-BLOCK!"

You couldn't help it - you burst out laughing. Papyrus had to catch you again as you slipped down the roof tiles. You were still giggling as you set foot safely on the floor of Jacks humble flat, situated above his shop. Papyrus was still giving the grinning rabbit the stink eye as he followed after you. Hating that look on his face, and not wanting to end a nice afternoon on a sour note, you pulled Papyrus down by his shirt and kissed him on the teeth.

"To be continued." you promised him.

Papyrus sighed, defeated but happy, before kissing you back and going back downstairs to work. You were about to follow when Jack lay a large, fuzzy hand on your arm.

"On a serious note, lil' bun." he said, all trace of humour gone from his voice "Are you in some kind of trouble?"

"Why would you ask that?" you asked, matching his tone.

"Some guy was poking around, asking after you." he admitted "I got a real bad vibe off the guy."

"Human, smart suit, way too much cologne?"

"That's the one." Jack confirmed "You know him?"

"I met him once." you confirmed "He lied about being a buyer for a grocers."

"Told me he was a buyer for a furniture store." he huffed "Like I sell cheap flat-pack made-in-china crap. What's his story?"

"I don't know yet." you admitted "He's not done anything, but that doesn't mean he's not going to."

"Want me to get rid of him?" Jack asked darkly.

Despite his laid-back nature, he was still a Fell, afterall.

"Let me find out what he's about." you told him "Then... maybe." 


	7. An Unwelcome Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I drank a cherry blossom flavoured soda while writing this. It's a lot like drinking flowers, but not bad. Definitely try it if you get the chance!

Monsters were a weird bunch. As a species, they gossiped like it was going out of style - one five minute conversation with any given monster, and you'd know everyone's business - but when there was a secret that needed keeping, you had better chance getting blood from a stone than getting it past their collective lips. The suited man kept asking about you around town, but the only one who got any information was you, as they immediately called you if they had your number, or dropped into Grillby's if they didn't. The man seemed uncomfortable talking to monsters, which was weird considering the area, and disavowed anyone of the illusion he might just be telling the truth. While on the one hand, he hadn't actually done anything, you knew it was a bad idea to wait around until he did.

You decided to steal his wallet. It was easy enough - you wore clothes that were the exact opposite of your usual style, a wig that was only a few shades different from your natural colour but a wildly different style, and kept your head down as you spotted him on the street. He was talking on his mobile, finger stuffed in his other ear, facing the spider bakery as if he was looking at the goods in the window. There was a square bulge in his back pocket, and you actually felt a little insulted at how easy it was going to be. You lifted his wallet without him even noticing, and were around the corner and up a fire escape on one of the few blocks of flats in town before he even finished his phone call. After a few minutes of waiting, you saw the man run past in a panic, looking all around as if he'd find his wallet on the ground. You knew damn well he wasn't going to look up.

The window you were next to shuffled open with some difficulty, a small blue bunny in a striped dress poking her head out.

"Whatcha doin'?" she asked.

"Playing hide and seek." you lied, putting a finger to your lips "Don't tell."

The child gasped in understanding, nodding seriously and turning to the adult in the room, who you recognised as the guy who owned the nice cream parlour.

"Daddy, they're playing hide and seek!" she announced "Don't tell anyone!"

The man just laughed, knowing perfectly well (as everyone in town did, you were sure) what was going on with you.

"Let's go pick Papa up from work." he said, ushering the child from the room with a nod to you.

You closed the window behind them, waiting until they were both out of the flat before opening the wallet and rifling through. Just like that, you had his real name, his home address, his credit cards, and pictures of what you assumed were his kids. A quick google search later and you knew everything you could ever want to about him.

His name was Ernest Travers, and he was a private investigator - a paid stalker, in your opinion - specialising in finding people. His rates were pretty reasonable too. Thinking it was time to flush the rat out, you called the florist and ordered an elaborate bouquet using his credit card, addressing it to his real name, from you, and asking for it to be delivered to the New Snowed Inn, where you knew he was currently staying. Shenanigans over, you removed your disguise and went to work.

Several hours later, you finally emerged from the kitchen. It had been a quiet night, and only the regulars were in the bar now, plus a certain rabbit that caught your attention.

"I heard it from his own mouth." Grillby told Jack sternly.

"And I know what I saw with my own eyes!" Jack argued, pounding the bar with his fist "Pay up!"

"I'm not giving you money when I won."

"Is it gonna take a damn photograph to prove it?! I'll get one!"

"What are you two betting about this time?" you sighed as you walked along the bar and helped yourself to bottle of soda.

"Nothing." they said at the same time, very pointedly not looking at you.

"Whatever, don't tell me." you teased "I'll hear it on the grapevine sooner or later."

The door to the bar opened, causing everyone to look around. The town was small enough that everyone knew everyone, and on the kind of night when only the regulars were in the bar, anyone else coming in was an unusual event. As you expected, it was Ernest, looking far more sweaty and nervous than you had seen him before. He spotted you and walked over with some hesitation, like he was expecting to be attacked at any minute.

"May I please talk to you?" he asked politely "In private?"

"No." you answered simply before taking a drink.

Grillby and Jack resolutely didn't move from their positions, eyes locked on Ernest. The rest of the bar was silent and listening. Ernest laughed nervously, fiddling with his tie.

"I have tried very hard not to get on your bad side." he started "After reading your wrap sheet, I wasn't even sure I wanted this job..."

"That should have been expunged when I turned eighteen." you knew.

"I know some people." is all he'd say, looking cautiously at the monsters giving him the stink eye.

"I only want to know one thing." you told him certainly "Who hired you? And don't give me any of that 'client confidentiality' crap."

There were several names running through your head of people you absolutely didn't want to know where you are, a certain sharp-toothed skeleton at the forefront.

"Your mother did." Ernest admitted.

"My mother is dead." you informed him, knowing full well that if your foster mother wanted you, she knew how to get in touch in other ways.

"That's just what your father told you." the P.I. insisted "I can assure you, your mother is very much alive. She's been looking for you for a long time and-"

"So how did you find me?" you interrupted.

"I..." he seemed put off a moment, like he expected you to have a bigger reaction than that "You didn't make it easy. In the end I had to go to your tax records, and even then you're the eighth person with your name that I've looked into. Changing the way you spelled it was subtle, by the way, but very effective, bravo."

You glanced at Grillby. The tax records in question would have to have come from him, since your job was the only thing your name was officially attached to. You weren't mad, though - he was running a legitimate business afterall, all his paperwork had to be in order.

"Um... about your mother?" Ernest went on, rooting around in his jackets inner pockets and pulling out a bulging envelope "She's very keen to get in touch with you..."

He trailed off when you just stared at him, nervous smile fading.

Your father always told you that your mother was dead, that she'd been killed by a burglar when you were a baby. It wasn't against the realm of possibility that he had lied, but why?

Clearly growing more and more uncomfortable in the situation, especially as he had many pairs of monster eyes on him, Ernest put the envelope on the bar and backed off a few steps.

"It's up to you whether or not to call her, I get paid either way." he admitted "But, I'm going to need my wallet back...?"

It ended in an unspoken 'pretty please' that sounded almost pitiful coming from a grown man. You supposed that to an outsider, the guys in the bar might seem pretty rough. Almost no-one got out of the famine unchanged, which was one of the reasons they made other monster clans so uncomfortable.

"You stole his wallet?" Grillby eventually asked you, Jack snickering on his stool.

You just shrugged, pulling it out your pocket, and threw it over the bar. Half of the dog brigade - the closest thing this town has to a police force - was sitting at their usual table, but did nothing to admonish you for the theft. Ernest caught it clumsily, quickly checking through the contents - he noticed some cash is missing, which you were calling your 'annoyance fee', but he didn't say anything - and gave you a quick bow of the head before backing out of the bar.

"Lovely to meet you." he said "Let's not do this again."

There was almost a dust cloud, he left that fast.

"Guess he didn't like being investigated." Jack pondered "Ironic."

"You should have flirted with him." you teased "That would have made him leave even faster."

"Hey now, even I have standards."

"Do I need to lecture you about stealing?" Grillby admonished.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures." you dismissed "It's the first time I've lifted a wallet in... ten years? Twelve?"

"So what are you going to do?" Jack asked, poking the envelope towards you.

"The first thing I'm going to do is make a phone call." you admitted, picking it up reluctantly "After that... I'm not sure..."

* * *

 

The phone rang several times before it was answered. Your stomach did an uncomfortable flip as a familiar, shrill voice answered it.

"Who are you and how did you get this number?!"

"Edge, it's me." you said flatly "Is my father there?"

"Oh!" the skeleton responded, actually sounding pleased to hear from you "Hang on a second."

There was a shuffle, and you heard him shouting away from the microphone.

"Old man! Get your ass out of that hammock, your offspring is on the phone!"

Why the hell was Edge still hanging around with your dad? If someone broke off half your limbs and pulled out all your teeth, it's safe to say you'd never want to see them again. Then again, torture aside, he was probably better for Edge than Wing had been... Your father wasn't exactly the 'I need a manly son' type either, only leaving you more confused.

With another shuffle, a new familiar voice appeared.

"Hey, pumpkin." your father greeted happily, sounding much older than the last time you had spoken to him "To what do I owe the honour?"

"Not going to wonder how I got your number?" you challenged.

"C'mon, I taught you better than that." he chuckled "Now seriously, am I a grandpa yet? Is that why you're calling?"

"Oh my god, you can't just ask them that!" you heard Edge yell in the background.

"My mother is alive." you said bluntly "She's been looking for me."

"Bitch is finally sober enough to realise you're missing, huh?" he laughed bitterly "Miracles do happen."

"You lied to me."

"I didn't lie. She's dead to us, has been for over twenty years."

"Why?"

"Why lie?"

"Why anything?" you asked "Why lie, why take me away from her, why admit it so easily now?"

"That's easy, pumpkin." he told you "There's only so many times you can come home to find your baby wandering around the street in nothing but a nappy and your partner passed out on cheap vodka before you know the relationship is over. She was a drunk and an unfit parent, but she was still your mother, and I knew the courts wouldn't give me sole custody. I did what I had to do as your father to keep you safe."

Much as you hated to admit it, you would have done the same thing...

"As for the lie, well, you were a rebellious kid." he explained "If you knew she was alive, you'd want to find her, and you'd only be disappointed, or worse, she'd drag you down with her."

It hadn't been that long since your adolescence, so you remembered perfectly well that you had been rebellious as fuck. You had fully embraced your foster family and the promise of normality that they offered you, it wasn't impossible to think that you would have done the same with your biological mother.

"And now?" he finished "Pumpkin, you're an adult. You've got a good head on your shoulders, you can look at the evidence to make up your own mind."

All you could do was sigh, head finally swimming the appropriate amount. You couldn't believe he lied to you... no, you could believe it, but it still annoyed you.

"Seriously, now." he said, tone changing completely "When am I gonna be a grandpa?"

"Goodbye, dad."

"Bye, pumpkin."

You hung up with no further ceremony, sitting in a cloud of silence for a good five minutes. You didn't know what to think. Your mother really was alive? She really had been looking for you? You knew you should be feeling... _something_... happy? Nervous? Angry? But you didn't. You'd never known her, it was like hearing about some actress whose name you barely knew.

The only thing that you knew for sure was that you needed a second opinion. You got up from your bed, bringing the envelope with you, and left your room. At the bottom of the stairs to the first floor, Sans and Papyrus startled, quickly pretending to be standing around casually (which meant Sans pretending to be asleep with a confused Gremlin on his shoulder and Papyrus doing squat thrusts in the middle of the hallway), rather than listening in in concern, as you had locked yourself away in your room the second you got home. God, you loved these idiots.

The realisation hit you like a life-giving breeze on a hot day. You did love them. You liked to think you would have had the epiphany regardless of the important conversation you had all had before, but it certainly made the idea easier for you to process. Warmth spread through you as you watched them being 'casual', thinking how lucky you were that these goobers had picked you out of everyone to share their lives with. You already felt better just for seeing them as you got to the bottom of the stairs.

"Guys," you started, letting them know you wanted their attention "Can we talk?"

* * *

"wow, that's messed up." Sans opined as you finished your tale, leafing through the letters and photos that were in the envelope "i can't believe he lied to you like that."

"I can." Papyrus admitted, remembering well the time he was stuck living with him.

"so what are you going to do?"

"I don't know." you admitted "I mean, I know what the _right_ thing to do is, but..."

You took a moment to find the right words, the guys looking at you the whole time, trying to read your face.

"It feels like I'm more curious than concerned." you admitted "On the one hand, yes, she's my mother, and I can understand why finding me would be important to her, but on the other hand... she's a stranger. I've never felt like there's a hole in my life for not having her around, and even if I had, I had my foster mother and Nana... and I feel bad for that, because it feels so cold and uncaring when it seems like it's really important to her... know what I mean?"

"not really."

"Of course!"

Sans and Papyrus looked at each other, both confused by the others answer.

"I never got to meet our parents." the younger brother told you "At least, not that I remember, but I always had Sans, so it never felt like I was missing anything. If they suddenly turned up now, I think I would feel much the same as you."

"bro..." Sans answered, tearing up a little.

"It's a complicated situation." Papyrus went on "There's no rule that says you have to feel any way."

"I guess." you sighed.

"you should sleep on it." Sans suggested, taking your hand "you don't have to make any decisions today." 

"That's right!" Papyrus agreed, taking the other one "And no matter what you pick, we'll support you!"

"Thanks, guys." you said as you squeezed them both "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You need a distraction." the taller skel suggested "I propose we carry on with movie night! You can even pick the first one!"

You suddenly swore, startling them both.

"I forgot the snacks." you explained "I was a little distracted..."

"i'll get them." Sans chuckled, getting up and giving you a kiss on the cheek "write me a list?"

You grabbed up the envelope and wrote the list on the back. The skeletons shared a look, but said nothing.

* * *

In the end, you thought about it for a few days. You wanted to be fair to _~~this woman~~_ your mother, but you knew you just didn't have the same level of investment in this that she did. She had written you an absolutely heart-breaking letter, including pictures of the two of you when you were just a tiny baby, but they may as well have been crudely drawn pictures of anime characters for all the emotion they inspired from you.

But she spent a lot of time and money to find you...

A letter wouldn't kill you, you thought. You kept it brief, polite, acknowledging that you had indeed been found, and asking her how she was. The return address was your PO Box, where any parcels you ordered were sent, as even with this you couldn't bring yourself to give out your address. Taking a deep breath, you popped the letter in the post, considering the matter, at least for now, closed.  

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And you all thought that suit-guy was the herald of bad things to come XD
> 
> And you were right :)
> 
> Just not in the way you thought 8)


	8. A Distraction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW WARNING.
> 
> Alright folks, this is not a drill, this chapter contains smut. Those who want the plot stuff and not the porn, you're fine to read until the second cut. Those who choose not to read stuff like this in it's entirety, you can skip to the next chapter (when it goes up) and not miss anything too important.
> 
> Everyone else, please read the end note as well.

It was hot as all hell in the kitchen. The lunch rush had just ended, and you were loading the dishwasher when you heard your phone vibrate on the other side of the room. Once your task was complete, you checked the message.

 **SunsOutPunsOut:** bet i'm having a better day than you...

Underneath was a picture of three white puppies, naked but for their underwear and still half wet from swimming, munching down on slices of watermelon almost as big as they were. You recognized the blocks they were sitting on as the fountain in your yard. The picture that followed was of Dogamy, being chased Legend of Zelda style by the chickens, while Dogaressa looked unimpressed in the background.

 **You:** Cute.

You put the phone down and went back to cleaning the kitchen. You barely had time to register the changing static in the air before big blue arms wrapped around you from behind.

"what's wrong?" Sans asked you.

"What make's you think anything's wrong?" you asked.

"your reply." he pointed out.

"I said it was cute."

"yeah, but that was it. no emoji's or anything. worse yet, you put a full stop on it. what's wrong?"

"I'm just kind of stressed today." you explained curtly, reaching for a cloth to wipe down the surface, only for Sans to pull you out of reach of the counter.

"and?"

"Sans..." you said warningly.

" _and?_ " he insisted.

You intended to sigh, but it came out as more of a huff. You didn't want to snap at Sans, none of the reasons you were stressed were his fault, but you weren't in the mood for company. You weren't in the mood for much of anything.

"I got a letter from her." you explained "It's in my bag."

The hint was clear, and the skeleton let you go, disappearing up the stairs. You got on with your job, as keeping your hands busy was the only thing stopping you welling in a dark, confusing pit. Ticking off items on your to-do list felt like progress, like control, like direction. An action which consequences you knew for certain. After about ten minutes, Sans wandered back down the stairs, hands in his pockets, looking at you carefully.

"so..." he said "... you gonna go?"

"Of course not." you said certainly "Do you have any idea how hard it is to leave the Northland? Any human can enter, the monsters don't care, but trying to get back over the border is a nightmare. You need visa's, you get interrogated, and if you don't have an exact address you're going to then they don't let you in. Getting smuggled across is too dangerous just for a weekend visit. And even if I do get in, there's no guarantee that the human government will let me return. They consider humans who choose to live here 'tainted', like that means anything... so no, I'm not going."

You turned back to the sack of potatoes you'd hauled onto the counter, about to cut it open, when your own personal koala ensnared you once again.

"you want to talk about it?" he asked.

"Sans..." you sighed "I'm going to sound like such a bitch, but... I just don't want a written record..."

And now you felt even worse, but you knew that blunt was the easiest way for Sans to process. Sans wrote down everything he deemed important enough to remember, and a problem this big he'd definitely record. You were used to talking to Papyrus about your problems, since he was able to remember them a week later, but it was just too mean to say that to Sans.

"and with your partner in crime out of town, you're stuck stewing by yourself." he knew anyway, not sounding the least but upset "you know what you need?"

Oh good, unsolicited advice.

"What do I need?" you asked carefully, trying not to let your irritation boil over.

"a distraction." 

You hadn't given Sans enough credit. Of course he wouldn't actually tell you what you ought to do in this situation, he just wanted you to feel better. You let yourself relax a bit, leaning back against him ever so slightly.

"What do you suggest?" you inquired.

"lemme think about it." he said coyly "with pap's out of town, we could make a real mess. we could even, dare i say, eat powdered doughnuts and meatball subs."

"No!" you gasped theatrically.

"on the sofa!"

"You rebel!"

"and not to the dishes right away!"

"You're a bad man, Sans Serif!"

You couldn't help but laugh, which Sans made worse by giving you a gentle squeeze and resting his chin on the top of your head.

Jack had taken Papyrus to a suppliers a couple of hours away, wanting to make use to both his pick-up truck and superior size and strength in order to bring as much back with them as possible. Since the supplier was a wining-and-dining type, he knew they wouldn't be home before three in the morning, so just elected to stay at a hotel for the night. Papyrus only agreed on the understanding that this was a business trip, and most definitely NOT a vacation! A skeleton of his standards would not take a vacation for any reason, you know! Since Sans was currently pretty stable, the two of you had been left to your own devices - eating messy foods on the sofa was a far cry from the gun running and pocket picking of your youth, but as acts of rebellion went it was definitely more attractive.

"Sans!" Grillby yelled through the serving hatch, making you both flinch "You'd better not be in my kitchen in your dirty farming clothes!"   

"bye, honey."

With a quick skeleton kiss, he disappeared. You looked at your disgruntled boss, who just shook his head and sighed.

* * *

 

You weren't expecting much when you arrived home. To be honest, you were expecting meatball subs and powdered doughnuts. If he'd completely forgotten, which was possible for him, you were going to order a pizza. However, once you opened the door to the house, a delicious aroma greeted you. It was buttery and herby, and was that potato?

"Sans?" you called "You in the kitchen?"

A sudden loud clatter let you know he'd dropped at least three empty pans. You had to laugh when you heard him swear quietly.

"You okay?" you asked as you kicked off your shoes.

Sans scrambled to the kitchen door, an unusual motion for him, and used his large frame to block your view while looking as casual as possible.

"welcome home." he said "was it busy when you left?"

"No." you admitted "Typical Wednesday."

"cool... so, this is gonna sound weird, but go with me on this, okay?"

"Okay?"

Still keeping your view of the kitchen blocked, Sans herded you towards the stairs.

"dinner's not quite ready yet." he admitted "so go have a shower and put your p.j's on."

"My pyjamas?" you chuckled "It's not even-"

"i'm aware." Sans insisted "but we're going with it, remember?"

"Okay." you mock sighed.

"be comfy." he bid, giving you one last little push up the stairs before going back to the kitchen.

What a pleasant surprise. Not only had he made a plan and followed through, but he made dinner too! That on its own elevated the day, in your opinion, but you did as asked anyway. You did feel refreshed after a quick shower, and the soft, clean pyjamas did feel nice, even if it was still early. Since the spring evening was still pretty warm, you opted for a tank top and shorts, thinking you could always pull a robe on if you got cold. 

When you headed back to the ground floor, you found all the lights were off, except for a dim glow in the dining room, which you followed. Stars above, he'd actually lit candles. On the table was a pie, which from the rough finish you knew was home-made, and from the heavenly smell you just knew was going to be delicious. There was boiled potatoes in butter and herbs, fresh vegetables no doubt from Sans own fields, and a fancy sparkling juice with condensation forming on it sat by a couple of brightly coloured plastic tumblers. You had to laugh - that was so Sans. 

Spying a notepad by one of the seats, you took a peak - the skel had made an itemised list of everything he needed to do to make dinner, ticking it off step by step. There were also steps such as 'put chickens to bed' and 'order fertiliser', so you were sure this little notepad got a lot of use. You looked around as you heard shuffling footsteps behind you, Sans coming in in his own pyjamas.

"hey, this was supposed to be a surprise!" he sulked.

"It is!" you assured him "I had no idea you could cook!"

"well, with you and papyrus in the house, i never really get a look in." he shrugged nonchalantly "besides, you don't think i raised paps on hotdogs and chisps, do ya? you don't build a body like his on junk food... kinda wish our parents had thought of that when i was young..."

You snickered, which was the exact reaction he wanted, as he smiled and pulled out one of the chairs, gesturing for you to sit.

"Why thank you, kind sir." you played along.

"anytime, pet." he said as he tucked the chair in under the table, giving you a quick kiss on top of the head as he went to dish up.

* * *

Dinner was actually delicious, shocking you in the most pleasant way. Sans humour was on form tonight, and it took you forty minutes to eat because you had to stop from laughing so much. His distraction was working, for which you were very grateful. When you went to serve yourself a second helping, however, he quickly grabbed the serving spoon away from you.

"I'm still hungry!" you complained.

"trust me, sweetness, you're going to want to save room for dessert." he insisted, pulling you out of your chair and leading you to the living room.

As he flicked the light on, you noticed this room has been dressed for the occasion too - there was a pile of terrible movies by the DVD player, a fluffy blanket and extra pillows on the sofa, and the coffee table had a small selection of your usual movie night snacks.

"get comfy." Sans insisted "i'll be right back with dessert."

Finally, the pyjamas made sense. You flopped down on the sofa, rearranging the pillows to their maximum comfiness, and started looking through the films your friend... boyfriend?... Sans has selected. They were all romcom's, which you knew was his guilty pleasure, and the worse they were the more he enjoyed them. You just knew he was going to be talking through them, so you read the blerbs on the back to try and come up with some jokes of your own.

"ta da!"

"Oh my god, what _are_ those?!" you cried.

In Sans hands were two large mason mugs, in which seemed to be a parfait of ice cream, sauce, meringue, cake, and copious amounts of whipped cream. Sans actually blushed a little as he presented them.

"a recommendation." he explained "from muffet. i wanted a pavlova, but she said you'd enjoy these more..."

"She was right!" you insisted "These are _amazing_!" 

His coy smile came back, albeit a little shier than before.

"chocolate or berry?"

You made your decision, Sans taking the other without complaint, and together you picked a movie to watch. It went exactly the way you expected, and more than once you had to quickly cover your mouth with your hand to stop yourself spraying the frankly amazing dessert all over the living room. A movie and a half in, when you were feeling fat and sleepy, Sans cracked open a window. As you were about to complain about it not being that warm, he pulled a joint from his pocket - bloodhound Papyrus could smell those even a week later, so getting a little air in was a good idea. You bounced a little on the seat as he plopped back down, taking a deep drag before offering it to you.

Half an hour later, everything wa even funnier than it was before. You'd put another movie on, but neither of you were watching it, giggling like idiots as you snuggled up on the sofa.

"okay, okay, i got one." Sans said breathlessly "are you a parking ticket? because you got _fine_ written all over you!"   

"Awful and terrible!" you agreed, ribs aching from how much you'd been laughing "Do you have an extra heart? Because mine just got stolen!"

"i hope you know cpr, because you're taking my breath away."

"You must be made of cheese, because you're looking _Gouda_ tonight!"

"god damn!" Sans barked "wait, wait, lemme think... is your name ariel? because we're mer _maid_ for each other."

"Kiss me if I'm wrong, but dinosaurs still exit, right?"

You'd gotten so used to Sans being in your personal space, you didn't pay it any mind when he put his arms around you, both of you howling and wheezing from your little game. You barely even noticed when he kissed you on the forehead, but as the kisses continued, it sure as hell got your attention. You didn't mind in the slightest, and as the path traveled down to your mouth, you leaned up into it, putting your arms around his neck. The next thing you knew, you were on your back, Sans propping himself up on his elbows so his large bones didn't squash you, kissing like you'd both suffocate if you didn't.

It would always be kind of strange, kissing a moving skull, but Sans put his all into it, conjuring up a facsimile of a tongue to explore your mouth with. It tingled against your own like a frozen soda, hard and sweet and somehow even a little cold. After a few minutes of shameless making out, in which your hands found themselves wandering further and further down his sturdy bones, Sans backed off, his tongue disappearing back into his mouth with a bridge of spit connecting it to yours. You almost whined - you'd been enjoying that - when you noticed his bright red eyelight trained on you. You just looked at each other a moment, him blushing unsurely.

"i, uh..." he started "i don't know how to say this... can i... keep going?"

"Keep going?" you repeated "Keep going how?"

He blushed even harder, almost his whole face going a slate blue. To illustrate his meaning, he haltingly lifted one of his hands, slipping it under the hem of your top. His eyes were still locked on yours as he ran his hand over your belly a moment before going up, cupping around your chest. His rough hands felt harsh against the sensitive skin of your nipples, but it wasn't unpleasant, and his touch was soft, like he was scared of hurting you.

"Oh." you realised.

You were together, though, weren't you? It was bound to end up here eventually, and it wasn't like you were against the idea, but...

"It's been a while." you warned him.

"for me too." he admitted "... if you don't want to-"

"I didn't say that." you assured, taking his hand though the fabric of your top and pressing it further into you "I'm just... not all that experienced, y'know?"

Sans laughed awkwardly, and you followed, chuckling together.

"guess we'll figure it out together." he finished, kissing you on the mouth again.

You felt him giving your breast a squeeze, gently at first, then a little harder.

" _stars_ , you're soft." he purred "should be illegal to be this soft."

"You just think that because you're not soft at all." you pointed out "I'm pretty normal."

Sans just 'hmm'ed, taking the hem of your top in his other hand and pulling the whole thing up. You sat up just long enough for him to lift it over your head and throw it somewhere else in the room, falling back against the soft blanket. As he stared at you, you suddenly felt very self-conscious - you knew monsters had different standards for beauty, but you couldn't help but think you didn't compare to whatever they were.

"are you okay?" he asked, noting how you had shrunk slightly the longer he took you in.

"Self-conscious." you admitted.

"and here i was thinking how beautiful you are."

"No you weren't." you scoffed.

"i absolutely was." he insisted, giving you a carnal smile that told you 'beautiful' wasn't the word he was thinking "but hey, let's keep things fair."

He immediately pulled off his own shirt, tossing that away too, making you laugh as you heard it hit the wall. He kissed you again, both hands exploring your torso with just the right amount of roughness. Your arms went back around his neck, reaching down until you could hook your fingers around his ribs. The stiffness of his bones against your soft flesh was strange, but oddly comforting. You actually did whine as he broke the kiss this time, making him chuckle, but he just shuffled down on the sofa, kissing a trail down your torso, pausing only to give your breasts a thorough taste, before his face stopped at the hem on your shorts.

His eye went back to your face, looking for permission. Your heart fluttered at the thought that, yes, this was actually happening, and you were okay with it. You were more than okay with it - you wanted it. You nodded, and that was all the encouragement he needed to pull them down your legs, dropping them off the side of the sofa. Now you were completely naked: it had been so long since you were naked in front of anyone else, you weren't sure what to feel. You were excited and nervous, and he just kept  _staring_ at you...

"can i draw you?" he asked suddenly.

"Like one of your French girls?" you joked, making him laugh.

"i just... want to remember this." he confessed, eye not leaving your body for a second "i want to remember this forever."

"Maybe," you considered "Later. Let's do something worth remembering first."

Sans impish grin nearly broke his face after that. Taking your thighs in his large hands, he eased them apart, actually licking his teeth when he saw what lay within.

" _bone_ appetit."

Leaning down again, he actually put your legs over his shoulders, licking down your thighs until he was exactly where you both wanted him to be. If his tongue felt good in your mouth, it was nothing compared to how it felt against your most sensitive area. You gasped at the coldness of it, but it soon warmed up, building a delicious pressure up your spine. One hand grabbed the blanket, holding it desperately, while the other sought him out, just able to reach the top of his head, carefully brushing around the hole in his cranium. He looked up at you at the feeling, smiled mischievously, and gave your thighs a squeeze, pressing his tongue harder against the dense collection of nerves.

The wave of pleasure that rolled through you left you panting. Sans dominant hand left your thigh, experimentally stroking your entrance before slipping one large finger inside, pumping it in and out, testing how tight it was before slipping another one in. It had been so long since you were touched by anyone but yourself, you had forgotten how amazing it felt. You could feel every slight move of his fingers within you, teasing you looser until he could fit three fingers in.

Your breath was starting to catch, coming out in gasps and moans, the heat flooding through your body as it prepared for sweet release, only for Sans to stop his ministrations, pulling his fingers from you almost reluctantly as he sat up.

"Please don't tell me that's it!" you practically begged, so close to cumming it almost hurt.

"hardly." Sans chuckled, taking the waistband of his shorts and pulling them down.

His tongue wasn't the only thing he conjured, a slate blue penis, hard and wet, springing free from it's confines as he removed his shorts entirely. Despite being so much bigger than you, his conjured member was a reasonable size, for which you could not be more relieved. His forehead was glowing slightly with sweat, be it from nerves or exertion, as he repositioned himself between your thighs. He once again looked to you for consent, to which you shuffled up a bit towards him, raising your hips so you'd both be more comfortable. His grin almost broke his face as he grabbed them, squeezing your ass as he lined himself up with you.

You felt him nudge gently at your opening before it gave into him, and _wow_ , it really had been a while. Thanks to his large fingers, you were stretched out enough that it didn't hurt, but you felt every beautifully agonising millimetre as he inched into you, filling you comfortably, then pressing in a bit further until you were filled completely. You were gasping and panting, desperately clutching the blanket beneath you, mortified and ecstatic, overwhelmed and desperate for more. You could hear his bones rattling, breath shaky as he got used to the feeling of being inside of you.

"Y-you good?" you asked.

"yeah..." he confirmed, eyes closed "just... gimme a sec..."

Just as you were starting to come down, you felt him move again, hands clutching your hips as he pulled out gently and rocked back in. His pace was slow and gentle at first, but got quicker and harder as he gained confidence, your gasps and moans spurring him on. Desperate to something, anything, other than just lie back and enjoy it, you slid your hand down to help things along, but Sans took your wrist and pinned it back down, his own thumb going to that sensitive area. He shifted his position slightly, holding his weight up on one arm and fucking you into the sofa, the speed and pressure making your moans louder and more desperate.

So close, so close!

"S-Sans-!"

Something inside you burst, a tidalwave of pleasure rolling over you as you came harder than you ever had before. It made your head spin, and all you could do was lie there and catch your breath while Sans chased his own high, finishing seconds later with such force that you could feel it coating your hot, raw insides. Panting and exhausted, he almost collapsed onto you, having enough energy to shift himself down so his head was resting on your chest. You wrapped your arms around him, kissing the top of his head, stroking the bones of his spine as you both caught your breath.

You couldn't say how long you lay there, basking in your respective afterglows. You might have fallen asleep for a while, which you only knew when you were startled awake by Sans getting up, shifting carefully over you.

"we should go to bed." he said sleepily "it's really late."

"Am I sleeping in your room tonight?" you asked.

"i'll be honest, love, i don't think i have another round in me." he confessed with a shy smile.

"That's okay." you assured "I just want to be near you."

You'd never seen such a large skel look so demure as he reached his hand out for you. You kissed the back of his palm, making him fluster just a little, before you got up, pulling the blanket after you, and followed him up to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Confession time for those of you who don't normally read these - I have never written full on smut before. Not because it makes me uncomfortable, but because I feared I wouldn't be very good at it. While I always love comments and am never afraid of constructive feedback (such as raising the age rating when it was pointed out to me that it was probably too low), on this occasion I am welcoming any and all constructive criticism. Is it too matter-of-fact, too farcical? Is it a knicker moistener, or am I going to be winning a bad sex award? (Look up the bad sex award if you don't know what it is, those are hilarious.)
> 
> Thanks for reading thus far, you people are a joy to write for! Next chapter - business as usual.


	9. A Mothers Perspective part 1.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is kind of a short one, folks, but I'm not very well at the moment :P Normal service will resume when I've kicked this lergy

Your mother wasn't going to give up that easily. After the years it took to find you, her precious lost baby, she would cross a sea of hot coals, barefoot, to see you again. Even if it meant getting a visa to go to that godforsaken land, she would do it. Although it took a few weeks to get everything sorted, it hadn't been difficult to acquire one when she explained her reasons to the authorities - any child returned to the human race was a good thing, afterall, and if the monsters wouldn't let you leave on your own, this was the next best option. Ernest had never found out where you lived, but he knew where you worked, so that was where your mother was headed first.

The monsters at the border were terrifying to behold - your mother had only ever seen them on television before, she hadn't realised exactly how _big_ they were. The guard was swapping as her paperwork was getting looked over by what seemed to be a dragon with no legs, a rancid smelling, pointy fish woman handing over to a massive hulking lizard wearing what seemed to be a muzzle. All the monsters were covered in scars and other long-healed injuries, carrying axes and spears and other primitive weapons around as if it were a completely normal thing to do, but as she made her cautious way through the town to the train station, the monsters seemed to be in jovial moods, greeting each other like old friends as they swapped their homes and vehicles. She was startled to see a few humans in the mix as well, laughing and joking as if they belonged with these ungodly things.

"You better not have drunk my wine!" 

"If you left it, man, it's gone!"

"You son of a bitch!"

The laughter all around was unexpected, leaving her on edge, fearful of attack as she walked along, clutching her handbag close to her. She found the train station well enough, reluctantly asking what she could only describe as a hideous neon blob fish at the counter for her ticket. The train wasn't for another few hours, but she didn't look around the town or go find something to eat - she wasn't here on vacation or to site-see, just find you and get you both out as quickly as possible. When the train finally left, she found herself sitting opposite a frankly massive goat woman with white fur, who spent the entire time knitting while her children played on their hand-held video games. The monster tried to make polite conversation a few times, but your mother wasn't interested, staring resolutely out of the window. It was a beautiful country, it was a shame it was inhabited by these freaks.

It was late in the afternoon, almost evening when the train finally arrived at your town. You mother hoped you would still be at work, but if not she would find a (hopefully human owned) hotel to stay at and try again the next day. As disgusting as the scarred monsters at the border had been, the ones in this town were far worse - they were just so... _wrong_ -looking, like something out of a nightmare. Some had long, thin limbs that didn't suit their small bodies, some had far too many teeth crammed into a mouth they shouldn't possibly fit in, others were bent over as they walked, shuffling with difficultly on feet that didn't work the way they should. It didn't occur to your mother to pity them, to see them as the broken survivors of terrible circumstances putting their lives back together after unspeakable trauma. No, they were just monsters - disgusting, ugly monsters.

She found Grillby's easily enough in the centre of town, and was dismayed to find it was monster-owned. You were in deeper trouble than she thought. Steeling her courage, she entered the tavern anyway, resolutely ignoring the creatures inside. At the bar, a thing made of thin, flickering flame wearing a suit locked it's... eyes?... on her, so she headed over to it, asking for you by name.

The entire bar went silent, almost like a record scratch, as all eyes turned to her. She immediately feared for her safety, and the seconds of silence that followed did nothing to assuage that. The bartender seemed to be studying her, wiping down a glass, before it reached back and knocked on a serving hatch behind it. After a few more tense moments, a door beside the bar opened, and for the first time in over twenty years, you and your mother were in same room.

She was speechless - you looked much like she had at that age, but healthier (the fact that you didn't drink was probably why), but other than that you were nothing like what she had expected. After a childhood with ~~your father~~ that fucking lunatic, she wasn't quite sure what she expected, but you weren't it. Your hair, your clothes, were not how she had imagined you all these years, but she couldn't deny it was definitely you. In one hand you had a spatula, and in the other, resting on one hip was... a puppy in a onesie? How quirky... Judging by the look on your face, you recognised her as well.

You put the puppy on the ground before you approached - to your mothers surprise, it toddled off on two legs, wandering off to a table full of other dog-looking monsters.

"I... um... hi." you started unsurely "You, uh... didn't tell me you were coming..."

You couldn't talk yet when ~~your father~~ that bastard stole you, and those were literally the first words she ever heard you say. She was disappointed that it wasn't something more emotional, but she understood your shock.

"My visa was only just approved." she explained to you "I thought I could get here quicker myself than any letter could... and you can call me 'mum', you know."

"Huh..."

God, she wanted to hug you, to throw her arms around you and breathe in the smell of you like she had as a baby. She barely held back, but the painful lump in her throat and blurring vision were signal enough as to what she was feeling.

"Ah, geez..." you mumbled, rubbing the back of your neck before opening your arms to her "C'mere."

She practically threw herself at you, wrapping you up in a long overdue hug. After all these years, all the worry and sleepless nights, finally, _finally_ she had you back in her arms. You were a lot bigger than the last time she held you, but here you were all the same. She couldn't help it: she started to cry.

"C'mon... _mum_." you said, as if the word was difficult for you "Don't cry. There's nothing to get upset about."

"I-I can't help it!" she cried "I n-never thought I'd s-see you again!"

Your mother didn't hear the 'awww' the regulars let out, or see the only half joking glare you shot them. She only started to take note of her surroundings again when they grew warmer, the odd fire putting it's... hand?... on your shoulder.

"Why don't you take off early today?" it recommended in a voice which was deep like a mans, but crackled and broke like burning coals.

"That isn't-" you began.

"I insist." he said "Just this once."

"He's right!" a very loud, somewhat high voice agreed "You shouldn't have to worry about work on such a momentous occasion!"

"guess that's time." a low voice concurred.

"You guys..." you had grumbled.

A soft thunk and two sets of stools scraping back across the worn wood of the floor caught your mothers attention, and she finally looked around. She immediately regretted it as she beheld something even worse than death. Two skeletons stood up from the bar: one massive, the largest monster she had seen yet, with long thin limbs, whose teeth looked odd, a little too straight and perfect, like they were veneers, and were those glasses taped to his skull? The other skeleton had a grisly, jagged hole in his skull, and a single red eye stuck in a thousand yard stare that made his rictus grin all the more unnerving. The way he stood, hunched and tilted, made it look like he was looming, setting off all sorts of alarm bells in your mothers head.

"I'll get the car!" the loud one proclaimed, stalking out of the bar in three long strides.

"Don't let us interrupt your evening." you told it.

"no interruption to us." the looming one answered with a shrug of it's shoulders before turning to your mother and extending it's hand "hey, i'm sans. sans the skeleton."

Your mother felt sick. This thing wanted to shake hands. This thing wanted her to _touch_ it. Mindful of where she was, however, she bit back her disgust and extended her hand. The skeleton's palm was so large to took up half of her forearm, sending a revolted shiver down her spine as she introduced herself. To her surprise, the fire creature gave you your bag, and you followed the skeleton out the door without a second thought.

These things clearly had you in their thrall. Your mother had heard about it, the kinds of mind-altering magic that monsters used to control humans. She wasn't going to fall prey to it, though! She would save you, and take you home where you belonged! She had to be smart about it, though - these grisly freaks and their magic were still a threat. She followed you and...  _Sans_ to a waiting, absurdly massive pick-up truck, the driver of which was the other skeleton, who smiled at her inanely.

"Mum," you began, the word still sounding forced "This is Papyrus."

"Did I not introduce myself?!" he gasped, voice still at a million decibels "How rude of me! I'm Papyrus!"

He extended his hand as the other one had, and again your mother swallowed her bile and shook it. This one's hands were even bigger, and she ended up ineffectually grasping one of his enormous phalanges.

"My, what a dainty grasp!" he proclaimed "You'll never get the job with that attitude!"

Was... was that a joke? Sans seemed to think so, as he chuckled in to himself in the front passenger seat. You merely flicked Papyrus on the back of the head as you clambered into the back seat.

"Quiet, you."

Your mother needed to grip your hand tightly to haul herself up into the truck, settling her bags on the middle seat. Your hands were rough, calloused, and a little scarred. That mans fault, no doubt.

"so, how long you going to be in town?" Sans asked, putting his arm up on the seat behind him as he turned around.

"I'm not sure yet." your mother admitted "Not too long, I shouldn't think."

 _Trying to get rid of me already?_ is what she really thought.

"well, there isn't much to do around here." he went on "it's mostly farmland. some nice walks, if you're into that kind of thing. you can get the train to ebbott city easily enough, if you want a real taste of monster culture."

"I'll certainly consider it." she lied.

* * *

 

The drive wasn't a long one - twenty minutes at most - but the winding country lanes and twists and turns Papyrus took got your mother thoroughly lost. This far into the middle of nowhere in this cursed land, she expected a ramshackle cabin, held together by mold and wishful thinking, but what greeted her behind the large wooden gate was practically a palace, an old frame embellished with modern windows and accents, set at the back of a large dirt yard that contained a fountain/pond, a pile of fire wood, a strange shed and a massive barn. Was this really a working farm?

Your mother startled as an unnatural scream rung out in the air, but neither you or the monsters reacted to it. As soon as Sans jumped out of the parked car, some kind of bird jumped on his shoulder, settling down with 'boks' and spinning around like a cat trying to get comfy, before it sat down and buried its head under the hood of his jacket. Your mother only knew it was a bird because it had some feathers, but they were patchy and thin.

"this is gremlin." Sans introduced, scratching the animal "she's my sweetheart."

Your mother didn't know how to take that. Was he being literal? Was that thing actually a monster? There were dogs and fires and skeletons, afterall, so why not?

"It's a chicken." you told her quietly, as if reading her mind.

A whole gaggle of them sauntered out of the strange shed upon hearing voices, swarming around their feet.

"Sans, did you remember to feed them?" Papyrus nagged.

"yeah, this morning." he swore "the girls must be hungry again. i'll take care of it."

The massive skeleton took your mothers bags without even asking, going to the palatial house, while you shooed the chickens away with your feet. They followed Sans anyway, as if knowing he meant food, leaving you and your mother to wander up to the house.

"I had no idea you were so well off." she gasped as she took it in.

"We aren't." you said immediately "This place was a wreck when we bought it, no floors or ceilings, fields all overgrown. The land around here is pretty cheap since it's far away from any amenities, and we did most of the work ourselves. We do okay, though, I mean, three adults working full time with no dependants and all."

You let her into the house, immediately kicking off your shoes, which she did as well. The inside of the house was airy and classy, with light walls and dark wood, large windows lighting up the surprisingly nice mix of modern and classic furniture.

"Oh my goodness!" your mother gasped "Your home is beautiful!"

"Thank you!" Papyrus suddenly said, appearing on the stairs and making your mother jump "It's nice to know someone appreciates my hard work!"

"Your..."

That thing had been the one to decorate this place? Your mother looked at you for confirmation, to which you smiled and shrugged.

"I did a lot of the building work." you explained "Brick laying, window fitting, plastering, all that jazz."

"You did?!" she gasped "But aren't you a chef?"

"I have my talents." is all you said.

"They did a _wonderful_ job!" Papyrus enthused, patting you on the head, which you didn't even react to "The house is so stable and safe, even in the worst storm!"

"Thanks, Pap." you said "You gonna handle dinner?"

"Leave it to me, darling!" he answered with an audible wink before turning to your mother "Do you have any requests?"

_Not to have to put anything you make in my mouth._

"I'm not too hungry." she answered.

"Something light then. Soup perhaps?" he said more to himself than her, wandering off.

"Well, let me show you around." you said, leading your mother around "This floor is the living area. That there is the kitchen, the downstairs bathroom, and through the door beside it is the utility room, which leads back to the yard. Through there is the living room, the dining room and the sitting room."

You led her up the stairs. They were large and steep, but you traversed them like they were nothing. This place was clearly built to suit those massive things rather than you, buy you were doing your best to work with it. Your mother, however, was a bit winded, and you stopped on the landing.

"The guys rooms are on this floor." you went on, pointing to their doors "And that's another bathroom. This room here is storage at the moment."

Once she had caught her breath, you led your mother up the final flight of stairs, where there was only 2 doors on a small landing, introducing one as yours, and the other as the guest room. You opened the guest room door, where your mother found her bags laid on the large bed. The room was gorgeous, the outer wall being made entirely of glass, and it even had a balcony, an en-suite and walk-in closest on the other side, with the bed between.

"Is your room like this too?" your mother asked, actually impressed.

"A bit more cluttered." you confessed "But hey, you've had a long journey, why don't you relax for a while? I'll call you when dinner's ready."

With no more ceremony, you left the room, closing the door softly behind you. For the first time today, your mother relaxed, alone with no monsters in sight. All her worst fears had been dispelled - you weren't some drugged up slave, or a survivalist psycho like your father. You looked healthy, and you lived in a nice house. If only this house wasn't in the Northland, surrounded by monsters. If only you didn't _live_ with these abominations. That wouldn't last, though. She would rescue you from the monsters mind control, and return you to the safe bosom of humanity where you belonged. She just had to figure out how.      


	10. A Mothers Perspective part 2

It quickly became apparent to your mother what an... _unusual_ relationship you had with your monstrous housemates. Just that evening, after she casually pointed out that you had a spot on your back, both of the skeletons had immediately cried:

"DIBS!"

"dib... dammnit."

You had just rolled you eyes in a 'typical' fashion as Papyrus crouched right down behind you and popped the spot. He even had his tongue between his teeth, your only reaction to keep still until he was finished.

Add to that that neither of them seemed to have any concept of personal space, which considering their size was down right horrifying! Despite the dining table being long and grand, you all huddled up on one side, closest to the kitchen, and they thought nothing of hanging around at the table as you and your mother talked, as if what you had to say to each other was any of their business! They thought even less of casually touching you: putting their hands on your shoulders, touching your hair, stroking your hand... and you didn't even seem to notice!

She was absolutely certain then that you were under some kind of magical mind control. How else could you have no reaction to being touched by these things?

Your mother wasn't interested at all in what the skeletons did for a living, but she ended up finding out anyway - you talked about them just as easily as you did yourself, almost in the same breath, like one fact couldn't exist without the other. It suited that lumbering oaf that he did something dirty like farming.

About 4 in the morning, when your mother ventured out of the guest room to get a glass of water from the kitchen, that same lumbering oaf was just leaving your bedroom, grinning like the cat who got the cream. He startled when he saw her, skull flushing dark blue, almost as if he were blushing.

"oh, er, hey..." he greeted "nice night, isn't it?"

He practically ran away, spine ram-rod stiff. What had he been doing in your room so late at night? Your mother was just about to check on you when you popped your head out of the door, dressed in your robe, to check on _her_.

"We keep odd hours." is all the explanation you were willing to offer.

Papyrus immediately started yelling at his brother about leaving the light in his room on, punctuating your point.

The next day, you were already getting ready to go to work when your mother woke up. She insisted on going with you not because she liked the idea of sitting in a bar all day (not with her history with alcohol), but because she didn't feel safe alone with the rotund skeleton. Just knowing he was there, working in the fields at the back of the house, without another human for miles around, made her shudder. You didn't seem happy with the idea, but if you weren't going to take time off, then she had to be adaptive.

That fire thing looked surprised to see her, but after a quick chat seemed happy enough to let her sit in the kitchen with you. Finally, she had some time alone with you - there was so much she wanted to talk about, so much she wanted to ask you! She even offered to help you with your job, but soon discovered that a working kitchen was vastly different from a home one, and sat down at the wall to stay out of your way.

When you worked, you were a lot like  _him_. Serious, methodical, laser focused. Once upon a time, she had found that an attractive trait in your father, before she found out that serious was all he was, if you ignored the crazy. However, you had a softness to you that he didn't - you laughed and joked, bantered with the monsters, and made sure your mother was comfortable and hydrated.

When your lunch break came around, you insisted on sitting in the bar proper. Your mother was surprised to find the skeletons already there, waving you over to their booth, along with a massive tuxedo rabbit in rough work clothes. She had no other choice but to sit next to it, sliding as far away along the seat as she could, and it immediately put its head on it's hand and grinned at her.

"Hey." it said in a deep male voice.

"Jack no." you scolded, playfully holding the chips out of Sans reach.

It's name was Jack? As in, jack rabbit? Ugh.

"Hi, I'm Jack." he greeted without taking his eyes off her "But you can call me whatever you like."

_Oh god, this thing was flirting with her!_

"Jack no!" you said more firmly, like you were disciplining a dog.

Sans used your distraction to grab the bowl of chips, but his victory was short lived, as Papyrus tapped him on the other shoulder, then stole them away again when he looked, earning him a heart-broken look.

"I'm married." your mother replied curtly, showing off her wedding ring.

"Hey, me too." the rabbit laughed "We have so much in common!"

"Jack!" Papyrus whined.

"Fine!" he pouted, finally turning away from her "Ruin my fun, why don't you."

In the end, your mother didn't talk to you as much as she would have liked. It seemed like you were hardly ever alone, aside from a few hours in the kitchen. Was that how their mind control magic worked? Would it break if you were away from them for a certain amount of time? She certainly hoped so, it would make getting you away from them a lot easier.

* * *

 

The more time you spent with your biological mother, the more you realised how lucky you had gotten with your foster mother. Never having had a mum before, you didn't realise that her patience and support didn't automatically come with pushing out a baby. The more you had to talk with your biological mother, the more you wanted to talk to your foster mother.

The woman was a chore. You felt awful for thinking it, and tried to be as polite and hospitable as possible, but she was honestly just SO draining to be around. It was obvious to absolutely everyone that she was revolted by the monsters, not wanting them anywhere near her. The only reason you took her to work was so Sans wouldn't have to babysit her, or scare himself half to death by forgetting she was there and walking in to find her sitting at the table. Every single thing was a problem to her - the kitchen was too hot, the soup was too salty, the truck was too big, you didn't dress nicely enough, you'd be pretty if only you did this or that, you should spend less time with monsters and find yourself a nice human partner (but only of the opposite sex, of course), and aren't you a little old not to have any children?      

You wandered if she even noticed all the moaning she did, or whether it had become like white noise to her. You suspected it was the latter. Other than annoyance, the only thing you felt was guilt - guilt that there wasn't something other than annoyance! There had been no immediate connection, no overwhelming joy at seeing her for the first time you could remember, no anything! You weren't exactly expecting miracles, but... something? Anything?

After the fourth day of your biological mothers bitching and moaning and barely veiled racism, you finally broke your own embargo and called your foster mother. She was shocked to hear from you, immediately thinking something was wrong, but she was happy to listen to what you had to say once she had calmed down.

"I see." is what she started with when you finished "I can see how that would be upsetting."

"Am I making too much of it?" you asked her, leaning back in your desk chair "It's not like I had any expectations, but-"

"Of course you had expectations." she disagreed "You couldn't not, or else you wouldn't be so annoyed with her."

"I'm annoyed with her because she's a bigot who never stops complaining."

"And you expected her to not be that way." your foster mother finished.

You couldn't argue with that.

"And from a mothers point of view." she went on "I can understand the kind of expectations she had too. I have three children and none of them turned out the way I expected."

 _Three._ She still counted you as one of her own, and you couldn't help but smile at the thought.

"The difference is, I was there to see Miles and Anna, and to a lesser extent you, grow up. I saw the events that shaped you, I understand _why_ you didn't turn out like I expected. Your mother didn't get to do that. I know Miles isn't a surgeon because he failed science at school. I know Anna isn't an Olympic gymnast because cartwheels make her vomit. Your mother doesn't know anything about you, she doesn't know why you are what you are." 

"You're my mother." you said before realising it.

For a moment, there was silence, and you were worried you had said the exact wrong thing, a pit of dread growing in your stomach.

"Thank you." she finally replied, and you could tell from her tone just how sincere she was "It's nice to know you still feel that way after ten years."

"Has it really been ten years?" you asked "Where has the time gone...?"

"Looking forward to being 30 next year?"

"It's just an age."

A buzzer went off on the other end of the line, startling you both if your mothers soft swear was anything to go by.

"Recess is over." she explained "I'm due back in court."

"Don't let me stop you." you bid "Sorry for taking up your break with my shit."

"Don't be, it was good to hear from you." she swore "Call me more often, okay?"

You paused uncomfortably, both knowing the reason you didn't.

"He's still in prison." she told you, reading the silence "Maximum security. I check every now and then."

"I..." you started "Once she's gone home... why don't you and I meet up? Have a day in the city like I do with Anna? Have a proper catch up?"

"I would enjoy that." your foster mother replied earnestly "As far as your biological mother goes - just remember that you don't owe anybody feelings, no matter who they are."

With a hurried goodbye, your foster mother hung up, leaving you in a lonely silence. You still felt bad, but in a different way than before - you hadn't realised how much you had missed the sound of her voice. The room felt a little emptier now, and knowing that woman was still downstairs finding fault with everything only made you feel bitter.

The silence didn't last as Papyrus burst in, as was his way, to ask you which of the seemingly identical batteries in his hand would fit in the tv remote, but stopped short when he took a good look at you.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Just spoke to my mother." you told him with a shrug.

"Oh! Is she well?"

He didn't even assume you were talking about the woman downstairs.

"Seems to be. We're going to meet up soon."

"Sounds fun! I'll go with you next time, if that's okay?"

"I don't see why not."

Papyrus put the batteries down on the desk, perching himself awkwardly on the edge of your bed. This was one of the few rooms where the furniture was built for your size instead of theirs, and even the bed looked positively minuscule as he sat on it with his long limbs tucked up around him. You'd chuckle if it wouldn't hurt his feelings.

"Does she know about...?" he trailed off, cocking his head to the door in indication of what he was talking about.

"Why do you think I called her?" you answered "That woman's getting on my nerves."

Papyrus' smile went tight, but he said nothing. You knew he wanted to, he and Sans both, but they weren't going to badmouth her when you seemingly had yet to make your mind up about the relationship.

"Never mind as a mother." you told him quietly "I'm not even sure I like her as a person."

He nodded tersely, but remained tight lipped, so to speak. His long fingers tapped with obvious impatience on his legs. Papyrus was not known for his restraint, and seeing him so desperate to let it all out was amusing. You kind of felt like teasing him, even if nothing about the situation was at all funny to you.

"Besides, with her around I don't get my daily dose of vitamin p." you said.

"Flavonoids?" he asked in confusion, titling his head to the side.

" _You_ , dummy." you grinned.

For a moment he looked even more confused, then physically twitched as he finally got it.

It was true, however - you hadn't realised exactly how affectionate you were with your skels until you had to hold yourself back. You missed the cuddles on the sofa, little kisses through the day, lingering touches, big kisses because a certain someone swore they forgot if they gave you one yet today or not. It left you feeling unsettlingly lonely, even though that woman was always around. You and Papyrus had tried sneaking in a kiss on the sly in the living room, only for her to walk in. It had been so awkward that he had jumped out the window, just barely sticking the landing, and to your mothers eternal shock you had been right behind him. 

"Well!" Papyrus said in delight, spreading his arms wide "Then I think it's time you had a booster, don't you?"

Discarding your phone, you gladly got up from your desk chair and went to him, sitting happily in his lap as he buried his fingers in your hair.

* * *

 

She had been looking for you for maybe half an hour now. Despite the land being infested with monsters, the countryside was beautiful, and your mother had enjoyed taking a scenic walk in the forest (while of course keeping her eyes peeled for any monsters who might try to use their mind control magic on her). Upon returning to the house, however, you were nowhere to be found - not in your room, not in the kitchen, or anywhere else downstairs. She had searched the yard and barn, managing to accidentally step on a few eggs (why weren't those things in cages where they belonged?), but still couldn't find you.

When she re-entered the house, she was startled to see Sans leaning over the newspaper at the kitchen table, tapping a pen against his teeth as he did the crossword.

"you always say that." he said to the chicken on his shoulder "'bok' isn't the answer to everything, y'know."  

She cringed - she knew he was crazy. Your mother ignored him and walked through the kitchen, intent on locking herself in her room until you appeared. It was then that she heard a scream, and _not_ one of pain or fear. A cold sweat flowed over her - surely not? You wouldn't... was their mind control really that powerful?!

"damn, i gotta try harder." Sans muttered, and she hoped on hope he was talking about his crossword.

"What did you say?" she challenged anyway, getting her suspicions confirmed one way or another.

The freak looked at her with that deer in the headlights look he always got, like he forgot where he was somehow, his single red eye darting about the kitchen.

"um..." he started "no hablo ingles?"

"You and I have spoken several times, Sans, I know you speak English." she pointed out, putting her hands on her hips.

"riiiight." he realised "sorry, not as smart as i used to be."

He pointedly scratched at the hole in his head.

"let's start again." he cleared his throat... somehow... "no hablo ingles?"

"You stupid little troll!" she snapped, shocking both the skeleton and the thing said to be a chicken on his shoulder "Do you actually think you're funny? Is that supposed to be a joke? The sooner the army wipes out the whole lot of you, the better off the whole planet will be!"

The weird light in the freaks eye had shrunk to a pinprick, almost slack jawed, but your mother was unrepentant. After holding her tongue for the better part of a week, it felt so good to finally speak her mind. It took her a second to realise he wasn't looking at her, but something behind her. She turned around to see you, hair a mess and hastily dressed, glaring daggers at her. Her stomach dropped, but she was prepared to fight for you.

"Swe-"

"Get. Out." you said through gritted teeth, not taking your eyes off her "You have officially outstayed your welcome in my house. Papyrus will drive you to the train station, then I don't care what you do."

"You don't mean that." she knew "I know that's just the magic mind control talking-!"

"The _what_?!" you cried incredulously "Is that the bullshit they spread down south? _Mind control_?! Are you fucking kidding me?!"

She backed off as you got progressively louder - you were scary when you were angry, very much like your father was.

"There's no such thing as fucking magic fucking mind control!" you yelled.

"Of course there is, you just don't realise they're doing it!" she told you, unshakeable in her convictions "I saw all about it on the news! Why else would you live with these things?! They're an abomination!"

"You-!"

"Why else wouldn't you be as revolted by these things as the rest of humanity are?" she went on, trying to break through the haze to what she knew was the real you underneath years of magical manipulation "Why else would you let them _touch_ you?! I heard what was going on upstairs, I know what they've been making you do!"

Your face went bright red, starting at your nose and travelling right across to your ears.

"M... _making_...?!" you hissed. 

"I came here to save you!" she explained "To free you from their manipulation and take you home! I-"

She was immediately silenced when you slapped her hard across the face, almost knocking her to the ground. You were a lot stronger than you looked, but so was she.

"How  _dare_ you?!" you cried "How dare you imply that my boys would do anything like that?! How dare... you don't even know them! The only men whose love for me has ever been true, the only men who always had my best interests at heart, and you  _dare_ say that about them  _to my face!"_

"How else could you stand it?!" she argued, still desperate to get through to you "They're so _unnatural_ -!"

"Because _I love them_!" you practically screamed "I'm sorry that seems to be a foreign concept to you, but I love them  _for_ who they are, not in spite of it!"

"You can't love them!" she knew, before picking up what it was you said "Wait... 'them'? As in, both of them?"

She was sure the disgust was clear on her face, as you went even redder, but you didn't deny it, nodding resolutely. You opened your mouth to speak, but your mother interrupted you.

"That's... that's _sick_." she pointed out, taking note of the way that you flinched "It's _wrong._ You have to know that! How can you say you're not under their control when they make you commit such inhuman acts, like some kind of animal?! Don't you see what they've turned you into?!"

Your face was as red as it was possible to get, and you looked as angry as you were upset. Your eyes darted around like you didn't even know where to start. Seeing she was finally getting through to you, your mother opened her mouth to speak again, only to feel a large, boney hand on her shoulder. The house, and you, disappeared from in front of her, and she found herself stood barefoot on the platform of the small countryside train station. 

Her head was spinning from the sudden change, her mind not willing to process what had just happened. Focusing on the one thing she could, she spun away from the skeletal grip, finding herself faced with a very unimpressed looking Sans. He looked at her coldly, his face betraying no emotion.

"next train south is in an hour." he said "be on it. papyrus will drop off your bags."

A series of heavy thuds close by startled her: her bags, hastily packed, still rocked in place as if they had been carelessly thrown there. How the hell had they just appeared? A couple of smaller thuds at her feet signalled the appearance of her shoes, one skidding along the tarmac, stopping at Sans slippered feet. His still red eye hadn't left her at all, sending a shiver of dread down her spine.

"do us all a favour and stay the hell away from us." he ordered "you aren't welcome in our house, and if i do see you again, i'm not responsible for my actions."

Just like that, he was gone. No puff of smoke, no flash of light, just gone. It was your mothers first time seeing actual magic in use, and it terrified her right down to her core. She would have to be scientifically decontaminated and religiously blessed when she returned south, just to be sure it didn't taint her soul somehow. Her heart was still racing from the fight, cheek still stinging from the blow. She had been so close to getting through to you before the monsters intervened! So close to breaking you of their control!

She used the hour before the train arrived to calm down, considering all her options. There was more than one way to save someone, whether they liked it or not. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Such drama! But really, how else could her visit have ended?
> 
> When reading through Love? I Think Not and this work while sick an unable to write, it occurred to me that it looks like I've come down pretty hard on drinking alcohol. There's nothing wrong with it in moderation - I've had three gins just tonight! Raspberry, meringue and vanilla liquor, tastes just like raspberry ripple ice cream - but it fits the character that they would choose not to drink. I have several friends that either choose not to, or don't for religious reasons, both of which I respect, but it's such a normalised aspect of our culture that you rarely see much said against it unless it's become a problem. So many fics start with 'X was drunk' in order for something to happen. Get more creative, writers!
> 
> But what do I know, I'm full of gin.


	11. An Unscheduled Departure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW WARNING!
> 
> SO! I've had a request for some Papyrus/reader smut, and since we had some with Sans I figured why not? However, as you'll soon see, this is literally the only chapter it can go in. Those who don't want to read it, skip the first part of the chapter, the story will continue after the cut.

Things very quickly returned to normal, and you felt absolutely no guilt about how things ended. What curiosity you had was sated, and one good thing did come out of the whole experience, as you finally saw your foster mother for the first time in ten years. She looked older, of course, but so did you, and you had been so happy to see each other than you had just held each other and cried for a good five minutes. She had been happy, and not at all surprised, when you told her about your relationship with Papyrus, her smile only fading a bit when you bought up your relationship with Sans. She was clearly uncomfortable with the idea and didn't want to hear any details, but said that she was happy for you all the same. She was happy that you were happy, and that was all you really wanted. 

She certainly didn't call you _sick_.

The boys were a little sulky that the first time you had verbally said you loved them (romantically) was when you were screaming at a racist, but they got over it with the application of smooches and cuddles. It felt so good to be honest and open with your affection again - heck, the three of you had fallen asleep in a pile on the sofa just that night. With you having kicked her out, the skels finally felt they were able to vent their theoretical spleens about how much they didn't like her, and how glad they were that she wasn't going to be hanging around.

Even Grillby was happy. He admitted while he was helping you prepare a hundred tiny pizza's for the puppies birthday party - they were turning two this year - that he had been worried about someone like her hanging around town. Monsters could sense intent so much more clearly than humans, and the feeling they had gotten from ~~your mother~~ her had been less than savoury. He had patted your head and told you that you'd be a much better parent than she had been, leading to an awkward conversation about how that wouldn't be happening any time soon, thank you, if it happened at all. A conversation cut thankfully short by the arrival of every single child in town to the shindig, overwhelming both of you in short order.

Your whole body was aching when you got home. You were covered in flour, or maybe icing sugar, you weren't sure, and you smelled of the kind of cheap greasy nibbles that young children couldn't get enough of. You needed a bath. While you had your own in your bathroom upstairs that was ample enough for your human frame, every now and then the big tub called your name, and tonight was one of those times. 

The big tub was so big that enough water to fill it would break the floor, which is why it was on the ground level. It was designed so that Papyrus could lie in it fully straight and have all his bones under the water, even his knees: there was so little of the world that was tailored for a monster of his size, the three of you were going to be damned if his own home wasn't one of them. The tub was dug into the floor, and at a glance looked like a disappointing swimming pool with it's tiles painted in a breathtaking water lily design. Papyrus had really gone to town decorating this room, even inking a mural on the walls of a fancy Italian garden. It hadn't cost nearly as much to make as it looked like - the massive flaming copper taps that dropped like a waterfall into the pool, that the guys had absolutely insisted on, cost more than all the tiles and mortar you had laid to make the tub.

It took a while to fill, but it wasn't your turn to cook, so you grabbed your essentials and a paperback and waited until it was deep and hot enough for your taste. It felt so good sinking into it that you actually moaned, letting the stress of the day melt off you. You got maybe a good ten minutes of bathing and swimming around before being interrupted, which had to be a new record: you had emerged from dipping your head under the water to find Papyrus stood at the side of the tub, just watching you. You were as used to him just turning up as you were Sans doing it, clearing the hair from your eyes with a cheery 'welcome home'.

"I was going to take a bath." he sulked.

"Too bad it's your turn to cook." you teased, flicking water at him "The water is soooo good. Perfect temperature and everything."

"Really?"

"Yup. Too bad. You'll have to have a shower today instead."

"Hm, I could do that." he played along, one hand on his hip as he tapped his chin with the other "Or I could do this!"

He immediately stripped, discarding his clothes in one swift movement you were sure had to be magic in nature, and stepped down into the tub. You just laughed, moving aside as he submerged and got comfortable.

"You're right." he sighed, cricking his neck "This temperature is perfect."

"I get no privacy in this house." you jokingly moaned, flicking water at him again.

"Privacy? What does that taste like?" 

He splashed you back, starting the brief water fight that had you both laughing and flailing around like a couple of teenagers, only ending when you were sat in his lap and his tongue was down your throat. You didn't mind at all, leaning against his rib cage and caressing the sensitive bones as you kissed him back. Things with Papyrus had always been easy - it was why you had been such good friends - and physical intimacy was no exception. You had slipped into it so naturally that it felt like it would have happened regardless, and while the skel had been nervous at first, he soon found his way around your fragile human body.

The size difference certainly made things interesting, but Papyrus was nothing if not creative. Thank all the stars in the sky, he wasn't exactly in proportion, or else it wouldn't even have been possible at all: he thought that you would be disappointed, but a short lesson on human anatomy was all it took to put those fears to bed. Kissing was his favourite activity, despite his lack of lips, but he made good use of his long tongue as one of his hands gripped your hip, the other venturing between your thighs and stroking with a now practised teasing designed to get you as excited as possible before slipping a finger easily inside. You had gotten to know his body just as well, teasing your fingers over the inside of his ribs and scraping your nails lightly on the joints of his spine, making him shiver.

"Good day at work?" you asked casually as you pressed a nail harder than was strictly necessary into a joint, making Papyrus gasp and flinch.

He only hummed, burying his face in your shoulder, his glasses (which for some reason he was still wearing, despite the steam in the room) knocking slightly as he pulled you right up against him. His fingers slid out of your eager entrance, leaving you feeling fraught and needy, but you soon felt the nudge of his summoned member, waiting silently for your consent. Enjoying your teasing, you backed away from him a moment, relishing his puppydog expression just long enough to turn around, pressing your back to his ribcage, and bracing yourself securely on your knees. Papyrus eagerly grabbed your chest with one hand and your hip with the other, the swishing of the warm water the only sound in the room as you lined up with each other.

Papyrus' magic was warm, and quite ample enough, thank you very much, the heat of it spreading up through your entire being as you lowered yourself down onto him, sheathing yourself until you felt like you couldn't possibly fit any more in.

"You never answered my question." you teased as you started to move, the water making the rocking of your hips much easier.

Your breath caught, startling him a moment: the friction had shocked you, not being quiet as ready as you thought. Papyrus quickly picked up why, the hand on your hip travelling south to stroke and caress your most sensitive area. The pace you both set was gentle and comfortable, the pleasure building in a languid waves as the sound of your panting and lapping of water against the tiles filled the room.

Papyrus didn't answer your teasing, eyes screwed shut in gratification as his hands did most of the work, fingertips tending to the fragile flesh of your nipples and genitals. You came suddenly, clenching around his cock as a cry of satisfaction echoed on the tiles. Your head was swimming for a moment, your inner walls twitching as if trying to milk him, but he remained hard within you.

"You're not done already?" he asked, disappointment clear on his voice.

"Sorry." you admitted "Guess I was kind of sensitive today. You go ahead and finish, though."

Papyrus hummed a moment, as if considering his options, before lifting you slightly and unsheathing himself. As he took your hands, you let yourself be posed by him, legs remaining in the water as he bent your torso over the edge of the bath, chest down on the surprisingly cold tile. Your toes could only just brush the bottom of the tub in this position, but you knew you were in good hands as Papyrus took a moment to squeeze your ass, once again lining himself up with you and pressing in. Your overstimulated walls fluttered and jerked, making you gasp, but it wasn't unpleasant. He trust gently a few times, testing the position out, before leaning over you.

"This okay?" he asked you.

"Uh... yeah..." you gasped " _Fuck_..."  

Papyrus laughed, straightening back up, and once again took your hips in his hands, lifting you away from the harsh corner of the tub. After a few more gentle thrusts, he suddenly drove in hard and fast, making you cry out in surprise and euphoria. He ploughed you mercilessly, starting to pant himself as your moans and gasps filled the air. It felt so good it was almost painful, your head swimming as everything mixed together, the heat of the water and the cold of the tile, the softness of your chest against the ground and the firmness of his hands on your hips. You couldn't even see straight as your climax built, his pace becoming erratic as he neared his.

With one final hard thrust, he buried himself as deep inside you as it was possible to go, the force of it pushing you over the edge for the second time as he came hard, leaning right over you until you could feel his breath on the back of your neck. You were both twitching and panting, and you sincerely hoped that was cum you could feel oozing down your legs. It took a couple of moments for your heart to stop pounding and for Papyrus to get ahold on himself, his conjured member disappearing without even leaving you first.

"I had a pretty good day." he finally told you, making you laugh, before he lifted you off the tile and back into the water.

Once again facing him, and once again in his lap, you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him until the water went cold.

* * *

It was movie night, so you picked up the usual snacks at the market before heading home. You were surprised, stopping your bike, when you found Gremlin in the middle of the road a good hundred feet from your gate. The chicken screamed and ran towards you with her wings out, so you scooped her up and deposited her in the storage box on the back of your vehicle. There were more chickens flouncing about the road. Did Sans forget to shut the gate again? Usually the chickens didn't like to venture too far, so as soon as you stopped in the yard and let Gremlin out, you grabbed the chicken feed from the shed and shook it hard enough for them all to hear, calling them back.

Once they had all been accounted for, you spread some feed on the ground to keep them occupied and closed the gate. The front door was open as well, and you felt your stomach drop. Sans wasn't having a relapse, was he? You rushed into the house to look for him, but found nothing. Almost nothing, anyway - on the kitchen table was his mobile phone, broken to bits. It wouldn't be the first time he had broken his phone, so it wasn't immediately cause for alarm, but... the guys should be picking out movies right about now, but the living room was empty. You looked at the wall to make sure you hadn't mixed up your days, but it was definitely movie night. A little red light starting blinking in your head, but you put it aside for now, pulling your phone from your pocket to call Papyrus.

You heard the ringtone coming from the living room, so headed back there quietly. You found the phone under the sofa. A second red light started going off. An anxious guy like Papyrus never left his phone lying around. His truck was in the driveway, but you couldn't hear his voice. Had something happened? Had they needed to leave suddenly and shortcutted away? Where would they go in such an event?

You dialled Grillby, thinking he was the most obvious choice. He sounded oddly nervous as he answered.

"Have you seen Sans?" you asked him immediately "Or Papyrus? Neither of them are home."

There was a tense silence on the other end of the line.

"Are you armed?" was his only answer.

The final red light flicked on, and you knew this wasn't a drill.

"I can be in 30 seconds." 

"Arm yourself and hide." he ordered, and you could hear the sound of rushing around "We'll be there in ten minutes."

The line went dead, and you went into survival mode. Walking silently back to the kitchen, you reached for the copper pan that was so shiny it could only be used for decoration, and gave it a sharp tug downwards. With a click, one of the walls of the larder shuddered open, the cans and bottle rattling slightly. You lost no time venturing into the hidden passage, pulling the wall closed behind you again. There was only one, very dim light, but the edges of everything were painted in glow-in-the-dark pigment. Most people thought you didn't have a basement, Sans and Papyrus included.

Old habits die hard, you supposed.

At the bottom of the stairs, you turned on another dim light and unlocked your weapon cabinet, taking out a rifle that may or may not be entirely legal, and made sure it was loaded before turning on the security cameras. It had been ten years since you had had any kind of trouble, and with this being such a safe area, you had long ago turned them off. You regretted that decision now as you scanned around the grounds, but the boys weren't in the fields, the yard, the barn, or anywhere in the house.

Soon enough, you saw two cars pull up to the gate - the first was Grillby's, the second belonged to the dog patrol. Jack jumped out of Grillby's car, pushing the gates open, and the second the cars had stopped, the dogs poured out and started sniffing around. You saw Grillby with his phone in his hand as he got out of the car, and immediately yours started to ring. You went to meet them outside, taking in their tense postures and shifty expressions.

Everything had been fine when you left work, what the hell was going on?

"What time did you get home?" Jack asked.

"Just before I called Grillby." you told him "The gate was open, and neither of the guys have their phones. What's going on?"

Jack grimaced and bounded off as Grillby pulled you to one side.

"There were some strangers in town." he told you "Humans. Their intent was... murderous. Jack says he saw a truck he didn't recognise riding around town. It might be nothing, but..."

But the dogs were searching the area, just in case it was in fact something. The adults were searching seriously, sniffing frantically, while the puppies were copying them, trying to learn their tricks. You saw Jack in the windows of the house, tearing through the rooms. Grillby stayed with you, both of you keeping your eyes and ears peeled.

After about 15 minutes, the dogs returned their findings.

"There were humans here." Dogaressa confirmed "Men, six of them. They were armed with guns and approached on foot, but came here in a diesel car."

"A diesel truck." Jack corrected as he rejoined you "The one I saw." 

"What about Sans and Papyrus?" you asked.

"They went with them." she confirmed darkly "And not by choice."

Your entire soul left your body. There were a few names that popped into your head of who the men might be, who might of sent them, but why didn't the guys fight back? Or for that matter, escape? They were both more than capable.

"Show me where the truck was parked." you ordered Dogaressa, who nodded and led you out of the yard.

She didn't follow the road, but went into the woods. You could see broken twigs, and boot tracks the didn't belong to either of your boys in the mud. You held your rifle ready as you followed her. On the other side of the trees was a field, of which a crude path had been ploughed through. Deep tire tracks showed where the vehicle had been. Judging by the depth of the imprint, the vehicle was heavy, but not overly large, and had been sat in one position for some time, but tore out quickly, back to the road.

"Call the police, get a search out." you told her.

You immediately went back to the farm, pulled your leathers back on and got on your bike, returning to the road yourself. You found the tracks easily enough, following the mud and treads. You vaguely realised that Grillby's car was following you, but you were focused on the task at hand, calling on tracking skills you hadn't used in over a decade. The truck kept to the back roads, which meant its tyres got a fresh coat of mud or dirt every now and then. The treads were very clear - the tyres were new, and designed for serious offroading, definitely not a weekend hobbyist. The roads they took lacked stoplights, shops, anything that might catch them on camera.

This was a professional job.

There were ways to keep monsters from using magic - the rarely used collars, for example, that were completely illegal outside of the prison system. If the boys were trapped without their magic, they'd be in serious danger. What did these humans want? Did someone hire them? Who, and why? And if not, why did they target those two? A farmer and a carpenter, neither with any connections or a great amount of money. There had to be a reason...

You drove for hours. Sometimes the tracks would disappear, but the road only went in one direction, so you kept going, picking up the trail again. The sun set, plunging you into darkness but for the light of your bike, and the glow Grillby's headlights behind you. Your mind kept racing the whole time, going over the who's and the why's over and over again.

You only stopped when you were forced to, the tracks leaving the road and ploughing straight into a wide river, the water black and shallow. A large truck could get through it, but not your bike. The car stopped beside you, Grillby and Jack climbing out. Grillby swore when he saw the river, staying resolutely where he is, while Jack stepped forward.

"We can't cross this until daylight." you told him.

"We can't cross it at all." he corrected, showing you the GPS on his phone.

This river was the border between the Northland, where the monsters lived, and the monster-hating human lands of the south. It stretched across the entire southern border, in some places almost 500 feet deep, others shallow and wide like this one. Before you could even say anything, headlights across the other side of the river grabbed your attention - a military vehicle, a routine patrol, driving along the other bank. They stopped briefly, shining a spotlight in your direction. You and Jack looked right back, completely still, while Grillby ducked behind the door of his car. After a few moments, they turned the spotlight off and rode on.

This only raised more questions.

"Why would humans from the south come all the way to our town?" you wandered "There are closer places, if they just wanted to kidnap someone."

"They came for the boys." Jack knew "They knew where to find them, didn't take a single wrong turn, and got across the river without the patrol seeing them."

He turned to you seriously.

"You know anyone that side of the border?"

"Only one." you admitted "That woman."

"But why would they take Sans and Papyrus?" Grillby asked "If it was her, why not just take you?"

You didn't have an answer to that, but if they were across the border, then there was nothing else you could do. Legally, anyway.

"The longer we wait, the harder it's going to be to pick up the trail." you knew.

"A couple of monsters in the human lands won't be hard to find." Jack thought "But we need to be smart. Don't go running off."

He took your arm, gently but firmly, eyes serious and pleading.

"We should go home."

You realised then how exhausted you were. You'd been at work all day, and driving for hours without having eaten properly. You just nodded, allowing Jack to lead you into the back seat of the car. 

* * *

 

The police took your statement. You weren't allowed to go home, partly by the police, but mostly by Jack and Grillby, who were scared of leaving you alone. You ended up staying at Grillby's place, where Fuku clung to you and cried for most of the night.

"This doesn't feel real!" she said "How can they just be gone? It's just a bad dream, right?"

Since the kidnappers had crossed the border, the royal guard got involved as well. The next day, a couple of soldiers arrived from the border - a couple of skeletons, as luck would have it, a serious looking short one with a red bandanna, and a tall thin one with a gold tooth. You recounted your story again, from the beginning, as you sat in the closed bar. They listen quietly the entire time, and for a while after you finish, there was silence.

"Why would anyone take Crooks and Axe?" the small one asked, more to the ether than to you.

"sounds like professional kidnappers." the tall one thought "You think your mother would hire people like that?"

"It would make more sense for them to kidnap me." you knew.

"Maybe." Jack thought, head in his hand as he sat beside you "If it's her."

"I don't know anyone else down south, and the guys sure as hell don't." you explained.

The small skeleton sighed miserably, troubled beyond words.

"The human authorities won't do anything." he told you "Monsters don't have any rights down south. Even if we ask them, they'd just laugh at us."

You said nothing. You had expected as much, but you already planned on crossing the border yourself to find them. Like Jack said, a couple of big skeletons in the human lands would stand out. You could find them, you could save them, and you could get back across the border in no time with their magic. The taller skeletons eyes were locked on you, as if he could read your mind, but you didn't care: you were already thinking about what provisions you'd need.

As the small skeleton went to call his superior, the tall one pulled you aside.

"you're that human red harassed, aren't you?" he asked.

"'Harass' is kind of an understatement, but yes." you confirmed "Why?"

"if i recall, you're a badass." he said "you're going after crooks and axe yourself, aren't you?"

" _Sugar_." you insisted, knowing how much he hated that other name "And yes, what's it to you? You going to try and stop me?"

"not in the slightest." he drawled with a lazy smirk "i'm going with you."

"Why the hell would you do that?" you asked him "You're a soldier, shouldn't you be against breaking the law? Besides that, you'll be dusted if you're caught down south."

The skeleton chuckled, looking to the side a moment.

"m'lord and i are part of a... special unit." he told you "clandestine operations. i'm sure you know the kind of thing. i've been down south before, once or twice."

You took a look around yourself, but no-one was paying attention to you.

"Then why would you want to take me?" you asked "Wouldn't you be better off on your own?"

"having a human with us will decrease suspicion." he admitted with a shrug "and taking you along will be a lot easier than finding a trustworthy informant."

He shifted uncomfortably on his long limbs, looking around again, this time seeming more embarrassed.

"despite everything, i... i'm pretty fond of those guys. when axe is on his meds, he's a great guy, and croo... sugar is too. he's always been good to m'lord, he's got a heart of gold. whatever those humans have planned for them, they don't deserve it. m'lord will say that alphys is leaving it to the pen pushers, so that no-one will look too hard, but we'll be ready to go by the end of tomorrow. you in?"

"How do I know I can trust you?" you asked simply.

"you don't."

The small skeleton returned. Just as the tall one said, their superior's hands were tied by bureaucracy, there was nothing they could do but file the paperwork, sit, and wait. The dogs actually howled, whining and holding each other. Grillby pulled Fuku close, saying nothing, while Jack stormed out, slamming the door behind him so hard that it broke. The small one signalled for the tall one to follow him with an incline of his head, and you were right behind both of them. You followed them all the way to their military jeep before the short one looked at you.

"I trust the mutt invited you along?" he said

"i did, m'lord."

"I've read your case file. It was a relations nightmare, what you went through with that lunatic Red, had all sorts of new regulations created as a result." he went on, before holding his hand out to you "I'm Sans of the Fellswap clan. People call me Black."

You introduced yourself again, shaking his hand.

"This is my brother, please call him Rus." Black said, gesturing to the tall one "If we're going to get those two back before something terrible happens to them, we need to act quickly. Is there anything you need from the house?"

"A few things." you admitted.

"Then hop in. We'll get what you need, and on our way to Bordertown you can think on an excuse to tell your boss."

Rus opened the door for Black, who started to climb up into the vehicle before jumping back in alarm: Jack is already sat in the jeep, cleaning under his nails with a large knife. He side-eyed you all for a moment.

"We going or what?" he asked gruffly.

"You-!" Black started.

"We'll discuss it on the way." you interrupted, pushing the little skeleton in beside the rabbit. 


	12. A Most Unwelcome Reunion

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

Ten years.

Tick.

Ten _fucking_ years.

Tock.

Ten years without freedom, without family, without magic.

Tick.

Ten years behind bars, wearing a muzzle like Hannibal fucking Lecter. Ten years of mandatory therapy, ten years of food that looked and tasted like glue, ten years of cheap, scratchy, poorly fitted uniforms.

Tock.

Ten years to sit and think.

Red had done a lot of thinking. Not much else to do. Maximum security, and all. He thought about his brothers, about all the ways his life went wrong. He thought about you a lot. Less and less, these days. The last time he seriously thought about you, he realised he wasn't entirely sure what you looked like. Had the smile he remembered been real, or just something his brain had made up?

Ten years of therapy will make you doubt a lot of things you thought you knew.

Red put down his book as the lock on his cell door noisily unwound, looking up with complete disinterest as the guard entered.

"Inmate F742, you've got a visitor." he said.

"why so formal?" Red teased, fully realising it must be a member of the brass to put a rod up this particular guard "ya can call me by my name, flossy."

"Don't call me that." the guard grumbled, although Red could see him blush under his fur "Assume the position."

Red would have smirked, if anyone could see him through this damn mask. He hadn't always worn it, but having their magic suppressed made his fellow inmates more imaginative about how they fought, and he only needed to bite one guards throat out before he was muzzled.

 _speaking of muzzles,_ he thought to himself, spotting Mutt, sorry,  _Rus,_ stood on the other side of the door waiting for them.

Red stood up, feet apart, hands together, and allowed himself to be chained at the ankles and wrists. His eyes never left the other skeleton, who himself stared right back. Once he was securely thrust up, the guards led him to the meeting room, Rus never more than three steps behind. If the mutt was here, then that chihuahua would be too. Official business? Didn't Red feel special. He hadn't seen either of these bozo's since his trial, and the sight of them didn't exactly fill him with the warm fuzzies. In the bland meeting room, empty except for a table and two chairs, Red was sat down and chained to a loop in the floor.

The guards didn't mess around. They knew who they were dealing with.

Red rolled his shoulders and got comfortable on the metal chair. The guards stood at parade rest by the door - they were definitely trying to impress someone. What had lil' Black been up to that got him so high up in the ranks? After a few minutes, the door opened again, and Black wandered in like the self-important chihuahua he'd always been, climbing onto the seat opposite Red. To the convicts surprise, he didn't have a serious-looking manilla envelope or a cup of coffee.

He wondered which of them was going to be good cop.

"Hello, Red." Black started "It's been a while."

"has it? man, time's just been flyin' here." he replied, his voice a little hoarse from not having used it much this week "whacha been up to, short stuff? playin' fetch? lots of walkies?"

"Time is short, so I'll ignore that for now." Black dismissed "There's been a situation-"

"so i figured." Red interrupted, letting the 'so are you' joke fly. Too obvious.

Blacks eye twitched. He hated being interrupted. Even though he wouldn't see it, Red couldn't help but grin.

"Axe and Sugar have been abducted." the half-pint said bluntly.

"couldn't have happened to nicer monsters." he smirked.

No love lost there, for many reasons.

"An informant south of the border has confirmed that one of the kidnappers is someone you used to do business with, a man by the name of John McReady."

"that scumbag?" Red laughed "thought he would have o.d'd years ago."

"With you in here and Wing gone, the supply of echo dried up." Black told him "He went into professional kidnapping instead. 'Extraction', they call it. Usually they take humans, return them to the 'safety of humanity.'"

"that's fucking fascinating, black, what the hell does it have to do with me?"

He saw Rus shift in his peripheral, but Black remained calm.

"Your unique magic." he went on "You can find any human, as long as you've met them once. You can find McReady, Axe and Sugar."

"the fuck would i want to do that?" Red asked him, a little insulted but admittedly curious as to what they had to bargain with "i'm in prison because of those bastards. the hell would i want to help them now?"

Black levelled him with a serious expression, folding his hands in front of him.

"I've already spoken to Queen Toriel. She's agreed to commute your sentence from life in prison to twenty years - ten of which you've already served - in return for your services."

"how awfully generous of her." Red pondered "seems like a lot of fuss and bother for two no-name skeletons. what's going on, shrimp?"

"That's classified." he answered shortly.

"that's too bad." he taunted, sucking his teeth "sure wish i coulda helped ya out. see ya in the next ten years, i guess-"

"A couple of honest days work, and a few hundred years of jail time disappears." Black interrupted "You aren't that lazy, or that stupid. This is your only chance to get your magic back. Is being a stubborn asshole really that important to you?"

"guess we're gonna find out." was his only response.

The black-clad skeleton looked at him seriously, eyes never wavering, before he sighed.

"Alright." he capitulated, nodding to his brother.

Rus walked a few steps and opened the metal door again, beckoning someone through. 

Red's soul up and left his body when _you_ walked through the door.

You looked...

You looked...

_Fantastic._

_That's just your disordered thinking,_ the voice of his therapist rang out in his head,  _you're only seeing what you want to see._

With that in mind, Red closed his eyes, taking a moment to take a deep breath. He didn't care how he looked, he wasn't going to let his brain trick him. Calming his fluttering soul, he opened his eyes.

It really was you. You were older, the vestiges of adolescence replaced by maturity. The great beauty he remembered you having wasn't there - not that you were unattractive by any means, but his idealised memories bore no relation to reality at all. You were very real. You were realer than anything he had ever seen before. You looked at him not in adoration or love, but in apprehension. You were exhausted, a little afraid, but determined. He didn't dare call your name, just in case he was remembering that wrong as well.

Black vacated the chair, holding it out for you. With massive trepidation, you walked over and sat down, putting your hands on the table and looking him right in the eye. 

You didn't want to be here, he could see it, but here you were anyway.

"so what'd they offer ya?" he asked "after everthin' that happened, what'd they offer ya to get ya here?"

"You misunderstand." you told him.

Your voice was like a half remembered song. He knew the words, but the notes were different.

"I was already on my way to the border with Black and Rus when Alphys called them with the information from the spy down south." you went on "You could imagine I was very against getting you involved. _Very._ The phrase 'are you insane' may have left my mouth several times. In the end I was outvoted."

"okay." he said, his tone indicating you should go on.

"I hate to admit it, but this is the quickest way to find Sans and Papyrus. With your unique magic, we can go straight to them. Saves time, saves trouble, you get your sentence cut. Considering the amount of drug running you've done, I think it's an insanely generous deal."

"me too." he agreed "i'm waitin' for the other shoe to drop. yer know as well as i do that axe and crooks are no-ones, why go to all this trouble for 'em? why not just leave it for the bureaucrats and call it a day?" 

"I have my reasons." is all you would say "I don't care about anyone else."

"bullshit ya don't" he knew "ya don't trust anyone. yer always lookin' for the angle."

You didn't reply, but the look on your face told him he was right. Either you were looking for the angle too, or you already knew it.

"Tick tock, Red." you finished "In, or out?"

* * *

 

You hated this.

You hated this.

_You hated this._

You sat in the back seat of the jeep, right up against the window. On the far side was Red, chunky magic suppressing collar replaced with two easily hidden, but weaker bracelets, that allowed him to use a small amount of magic, just enough for your needs. Rus drove as Black debriefed you all on when things would happen, who you would liaise with, what would happen when you reached the border. Red was either looking out the window, completely disinterested, or stole glances at you.

Red wasn't as big as you remembered. He was only a little taller than Sans, and ten years of portion control had slimmed him down quite a bit. His face hadn't changed, though. A few more scars, at least that you could see, but just being near him still set your teeth on edge. It felt like the last ten years hadn't happened, and you half expected Wing to pop up out of the shadows and admonish you for being late. Learning about his unique magic had been a very unwelcome lesson - if he could find any human he had met before, then the last ten years had been completely unnecessary. Separating yourself from your own foster family, leaving your life and all your plans, secluding yourself in the middle of nowhere... all for nothing. He would have found you anyway.

It left a sour taste in your heart.

Jack had gone ahead to Bordertown to make sure everything was ready. When you had gotten the call about McReady from Black's superior, you and the rabbit had both practically screamed ' _ARE YOU INSANE?!_ ' at the same time, only to look at each other in surprise.

"Did Papyrus tell you?" you both said next.

You confirmed Papyrus hadn't said anything, and so did he. Jack had his own history with Red which he didn't want to discuss, and you agreed not to ask on those same terms. You both argued against getting the skeletal felon involved for a good hour and a half before the fork in the road, but Black was a convincing little devil, and the fact Rus was driving didn't help. Jack had insisted on being let out of the car, not trusting himself to be in a confined space with his fellow Fell and not kill him, and taken the train to Bordertown alone. You now wished he was here, just to have a solid buffer between you and Red.

You had never been to Bordertown before, at least not that you could remember. It was primarily a military area with very few civilians, the royal guard swapping with the border force every six months so neither became too stressed by the constant aggressive vigilance of the human army over the other side of the river. The river itself was encased in concrete, with large walls on either side and razor-wire wrapped tetrapods in the dirty, fast flowing water. The bridges were heavily guarded on both sides, a few boarded up shop fronts and bullet riddled blocks of flats the only indication of happier, more peaceful times.

By the time you arrived, Black and Rus's superior, a large yellow lizard monster with a scarred face and what looked like a muzzle, had everything ready, waving you into a bunker on the riverbank that looked completely deserted in the barely lit night. Jack was there too, performing final tests on the equipment. The second he and Red saw each other, they both froze. You could tell from their stances - Jack was ready to go for him, and Red was ready to run. You wondered exactly what history they had. With a slap of her tail against the ground, the monster in charge bought attention back to her for the final debrief.

"Once you get across the river, you're on your own." she warned as she finished "Complete radio silence, we can't risk sending anyone after you if you get caught."

"It's not our first rodeo." Black reminded her as he buckled up his boots.

Whoever had put together their disguises was smart - the cloth covered their entire bodies, but the clothes themselves were casual, off-the-rack, and not at all suspicious. Their facial disguises were hats, headphones that connected to nothing in their pockets, scarves and surgery masks, the kind of which was often worn by allergy sufferers. The clothes they provided you were much the same, so you looked like a cohesive group. You each had a couple of outfits, but they were thin and easy to carry in the bags, packed with military precision, that also contained food and weaponry. All but Red's, anyway.

"If you try to run away, the deal is off." Alphys warned him, pointing a large claw right at his face "You won't last long without your full magic, and the second we find you, you'll be right back in jail."

"consider me warned, darlin'." he said with a smirk.

She glared at him with her one good eye, growling a little. Jack ignored him by checking over the straps on your pack.

"Is it too heavy?" he asked, fussing a little "Digging in here?"

"It's fine." you insisted.

"It's a Papyrus special." he told you "It's got everything you need. When we get over the river-"

You interrupted by putting your hand on his shoulder.

"You're not going." you told him.

His face fell slack.

"Jack, you will _never_ pass for human." you pointed out "The skeletons can only just get away with it because they're about the right size and shape, but you?"

You pulled lightly on his whiskers to illustrate your point. He was angry, but more at the fact that he knew you were right.

"I can't just sit here and do nothing." he said through gritted teeth "I can't leave you alone with _him_."

"Then go back to your shop." you suggested "You'll be busy with Papyrus gone. Feed the chickens for us. Keep the home fires burning."

"I'll worry myself to death until you and the boys come back." he knew.

"I'll come back with them, or I won't come back at all." you swore.

He gave you a hard look, the kind you'd seen on your father once or twice, before pulling you into his arms and hugging you tightly.

"Don't let your guard down." he whispered to you.

You had learned that lesson a long time ago.

* * *

 

You waited until gone four in the morning before venturing out. There was an old pipe running from one side of the river to the other, for what long expired purpose you could only guess, large enough that it could be walked over. On the monster side of the river was a chainlink fence that looked to be in one piece from a distance, but up close you could see the cuts and dents, Alphys and Jack pulling the sides back like curtains.

"will that piece of shit hold our weight?" Red asked, grimacing at it.

"One at a time." Black ordered "The human is the heaviest, they'll have to go last." 

Alphys shot him a dirty look on your behalf, but you knew it was the truth. Skeletons didn't have things like organs and muscles weighing them down.

Black went first, hopping up onto the pipe and taking a good look around before darting across as easily as a squirrel on a wire. He was a quick little bugger. Once secreted in the bushes on the other side, he sent out a pulse of magic, and Rus stepped up onto the pipe. He was slower, balancing seemingly without effort, but cautious, his added height over his brother making him easier to spot. As he reached the middle of the pipe, a searchlight swept over the area from the human side of the river, causing Alphys and Jack to let go of the fence and everyone to duck behind the low concrete wall. Rus had disappeared entirely, shortcutting to the other side.

If he could shortcut, why were you doing it this way? Considering the situation, you put the question aside.

For now.

After a couple of sweeps, the searchlight movedd off to the other side of the river. Alphys and Jack wasted no time resuming their previous positions, pushing Red through and onto the pipe. He had more trouble balancing than the other two, the old metal creaking under him, but made his slow progress over. You waited for the searchlight to sweep past again before making your move, Jack gripping your shoulder with a serious nod before letting you go.

Don't look down. Don't look down. Don't think about the water, how fast it's flowing, the fact that you couldn't swim. Just keep you eyes on the other side and tread carefully. The pipe creaked much worse under your weight than it had Reds, and you chanced a look in the direction of the searchlight, but it was still focused elsewhere. You were half way across when you heard a small splash - a rivet had dislodged from the old pipe and fallen into the water - and you made the mistake of looking down.

The water was black, and you could make out the solid shapes of the tetrapods, the way the flow was unsettled by the razor wire. You'd be torn apart in seconds if you fell in that. You were engulfed in a cold sweat. Your feet froze in place. The searchlight made it's way back over.

Skeletal arms wrapped around you, none too delicately, and hauled you off your feet, running to the other side of the pipe and jumping in the bush just as the light reached it. All three skeletons froze as the searchlight sat in place a moment, it's operator wondering what that movement was. It was Red that had grabbed you, perhaps remembering well your phobia of the water, and he used his body to shield you from the light. You were the one person it was okay for them to see, but you hid like the rest. Finally, the searchlight moved on, and you all breathed a collective sigh of relief.

Leaving the bush, you spared a glance across the river, but Alphys and Jack were already gone. The group didn't say anything until they were well away from the river, on the back roads where there were far less soldiers.

"We're going to need to steal a car." Black pointed out, looking at the available options "How about that one?"

"Hell no." you veto'd "Military vehicles are conspicuous as a red sock in a white wash, plus it's probably got a tracker in it. We need a fuel efficient car with tinted windows."

"Fuel efficient?" the small skeleton queried.

"You got a lot of money for petrol?"

A car horn blared, startling the group. It had come from a green VW van, it's windows tinted so it was hard to make out who was behind the wheel. The driver flashed the lights before opening the car door and stepping out.

Too tall to be human. Far too tall.

"pa... paps...?" Red gasped, hardly able to believe his eyes.

"Took you long enough." Edge criticised.

Black looked livid, mouth opening and closing like a goldfish who forgot what it was about to say, while Rus just looked impressed. Edge had changed - he'd broadened up a little, no longer lanky in all directions, but his smirk and twinkling red eyes were still the same. Red almost dropped his bag, he ran to his brother so fast, wrapping his arms around him. Edge returned his embrace as you walked over.

"Edge, why are you here?" you asked.

"Dad sent me to help you out." he told you.

Not 'your dad'. Just 'dad'. Something else for you to put aside for now.

"He knew these military dummies would only slow you down." Edge went on "Not to mention you're out of practice, with your cushy civilian life."  

"SLOW?!" Black screeched.

He suddenly covered his mouth, remembering where he was, as you all looked around, but there was no movement in the windows or houses around you.

"Get in the car." Edge ordered as if Black were an idiot.

"Did you at least change the plates?" you asked as you threw your bag in the back.

"Of course I did." the skeleton grumbled "God, you sound just like Dad when you nag like that."

Red seemed to notice what he said this time, giving his brother a confused look.

Again, you let it go.

For now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact!
> 
> Red wasn't actually supposed to appear in this one, but people kept asking and asking and theorising and I figured, who am I to deny the people what they want? He's a fun character to write, and including him wasn't too massive a plot re-write. 
> 
> You've no-one to blame but yourselves, now!


	13. A Roadtrip to Your Own Personal Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many amazing comments on that last chapter! They had me grinning ear to ear, you have no idea. I wanted to reply to them all, but... y'know, spoilers.

The van wasn't overly comfortable, but this wasn't exactly a vacation. You were on a serious rescue mission with two mid ranking counterintelligence officials, a hardened criminal and a man who had spend the last decade living in the wilderness with your father.

And all of them behaved like fucking children.

Black pouted when he was told to sit in the middle of the back seat so Edge could still see out of the rear view mirror, mumbling to himself and kicking the seats in front of him. Edge also told Rus he wasn't allowed to smoke in the van, which resulted in the supposedly grown skeleton _licking the window_. Red sat up front with his brother to act as the navigator, grilling him as to where he had been, what he had been doing, why he hadn't been in touch.

"I'm a wanted criminal, Sans, I couldn't exactly pop in for visiting hours." the younger brother pointed out.

Black and Edge spend the entire night bitching and bragging at each other, Black about his success and Edge about his height, while Rus played on his phone and listened to the music in his headphones too loud. You felt like you were a teenager again, stuck in the idiot class with the delinquents, on a godawful day trip to the factory that makes migraines. Your order of one with everything was coming along quite nicely, thanks for asking, and the arguing wasn't exactly helping.

You hadn't slept or eaten properly since the boys had been taken. You knew that was a bad idea, but you couldn't help it - stress and worry were robbing you of your better senses. Just as your eyes started to strobe in front of you, a voice piped up.

"you feeling okay there?"

Despite how quiet and calm his voice, Rus managed to silence the other skeletons with his question. He was looking right at you in that deceptively lazy way of his, causing the others to do the same.

"Headache." you replied simply, unable to stop yourself from closing one of your eyes to ease the flashing lights.

"When was the last time you ate?" Edge asked, eyeing you in the rear view mirror.

"You should get some sleep." Black suggested.

"ya look like yer gonna be sick, babe." Red added.

"Don't call me babe." you bit immediately "And it would help if you could all just be quiet for a while."

An uncomfortable silence fell. It lasted all of ten seconds.

"There's a drive-thru." Edge pointed out "You need to eat something. What do you want?"

"They don't need food, they need sleep!" Black disagreed.

And the arguments started again. You just took a deep breath and rubbed your sore eyes, the guys only just pulling up their face masks as they drove up to the microphone. The two got so engrossed in which of them was right that Red ended up ordering for everyone, leaning over his brother so he could be heard. You watched closely, but the humans working didn't take enough notice of them to question their coverings.

Just the smell of the food made you gag, a reaction that didn't go unnoticed by Rus. You really weren't in the mood for this greasy stuff, but it was far too early to be breaking into the rations in your packs. You did your best, taking two or three bites before your stomach decided time was up.

"Edge, pull over." you ordered urgently.

"Why?" he asked, again looking at you via the mirror.

"'Cause I'm gonna throw up!"

Luckily it was still very early in the morning, and there were few people on the road as Edge immediately veered off and you threw the door open, just tumbling out as you vomited. There wasn't much in your stomach, so a lot of what came up was water, causing you to retch and splutter.

"That's disgusting." you heard Black intone.

"not helpin', ya brat." Red grumbled, swinging open his own door and carefully stepping around the puddle you had just made.

He squatted down, patting your back a few times before rubbing circles in it.

"better out than in." he told you "feel better for it?"

You really wanted to tell him to fuck off. You really, really did, but you didn't trust your voice right now.

"perhaps if we got some different food." Rus suggested "something light and simple. it would be good to get some provisions before the supermarkets get too busy."

"Of course!" Black agreed "I saw a sign for one not long ago!"

Once you were steady enough, Red helped you back into the van, and the journey continued.

* * *

 

Edge stayed in the car, his inhuman height a dead giveaway as to his true nature, as the four of you left to get what you needed from the small retail park. Red wandered off, Black following him to make sure he didn't run away, while Rus followed you to the supermarket. It had only just opened, and was empty but for staff and a few tired looking commuters.

Taking a quick look at the shelves, you realised they used a different currency here than what you had in your wallet, and all your cards had been issued from monster banks, so that was a no-no as well. The issue was solved as you picked the pocket of a passing man in a shirt and tie, taking all the cash and palming the wallet to Rus, who shortcutted it somewhere else. The act was so natural, it was like you'd both been doing it all your lives. You grabbed a small trolley and started around.

Rus stuck to you like a shadow. He wasn't as tall as Edge, but still big by human standards, so he did attract some attention, even with a bandanna, sunglasses, and hood covering his face.

"throw up." he ordered you suddenly.

"What?"

"Excuse me, sir?" a male voice called with an edge of suspicion.

You immediately retched, falling to your knees, but you couldn't throw up what wasn't there. Rus played the part of being concerned, squatting down beside you and rubbing your back.

"hey man, do you have any nausea meds?" he asked the staff member who had approached you "we're on a road trip, and we're all pretty sick. i think it was the truck stop sushi."

"I think it was the truck stop bathrooms." you played along, wiping your mouth and leaning into him like he was your best friend. 

"Oh!" the worker said, as if that explained everything (which had of course been your intention) "Of course, they're in aisle three - let me show you."

Rus 'helped' you back to your feet and the two of you followed them to the pharmacy aisle. He was also nice enough to show you where to get foods that wouldn't upset your stomach any further before excusing himself to go back to work. You also picked up bottled water, toilet roll, deodorant, a multi-pack of toothbrushes and toothpaste... everything you knew men don't think about when they packed a bag. Your skeleton shadow was never more than a few steps behind, occasionally picking something up, examining it a moment, _licking it_ (packaging and all), and then putting it back on the shelf. You didn't ask, mostly because you didn't want to know.

"hey, get me some cigarettes." Rus requested.

"Get your own cigarettes." you countered as you threw a bumper book of puzzles into the cart with a pack of brightly coloured pens "I saw you lift that guy's wallet in the bread aisle."

"shouldn't have it on the shop floor." he said with a grin you could just hear.

It wasn't the only thing he had taken, either - several small items had found their way into his pockets, including boxes of medicine, nicotine gum, hard sweets and, for some reason, paperclips.

You made it around the market, apologising to the poor woman who had to clean up the next time you threw up, and payed for whatever was too big to fit into Rus' pocket before leaving. Edge was calmly observing the parking lot, still not having moved. The look in his eyes as he watched people go by... it was so much like your father...

"Any trouble?" he asked.

"No." you assured as you climbed into the back and started sorting through the bags, Rus climbing in after you and not having any reaction when you started to pile his lap up with items.

"You feeling better?"

"Also no."

"Why don't you get some sleep?" Edge insisted "It'll help."

"Would you sleep in my situation?" you asked him "In an unfamiliar country, stuck in a van with two guys I barely know, a guy I've not seen in ten years, and your brother?"

Edge tapped the wheel with his long phalanges a moment.

"I guess not." he admitted.

After another ten minutes, Red and Black returned. The smaller skeleton looked pissed, glaring daggers at the felon, who had a few bolts of fabric under his arm.

"Sans, what have you got?" Edge sighed.

"fabric!" he pointed out, clearly very pleased as he pulled needles, pins and thread from his pockets "i'm gonna make something! for the first time in ten years!"

"your cuts might be a bit out of fashion." Rus teased.

"class never goes out of fashion." he fired back "not that ya'd know."

"Where did you get the money for that?" you asked, knowing full well he had none.

"five finger discount, darlin'."

Black almost roared in annoyance, crossing his arms and collapsing dramatically into the middle seat.

"I'm a government officer!" he complained "I decide when he goes back to prison, and he wouldn't even listen to me about shoplifting!"

You couldn't really say anything, considering how you had acquired your goods. Edge seemed to realise this, as he gave you a knowing smile before starting the engine.

"Alright, guys, serious talk." you said as he pulled out of the parking lot "I don't know how you guys have worked before, but I'm going to insist on some rules."

Rus and Black looked surprised, Red snorting out a chuckle as Edge eyed you in the mirror. 

"Rule 1 - hygiene."

You handed out the large sandwich bags you had put together, one to each skeleton.

"In the bag you'll find spray deodorant, a toothbrush, toothpaste, breath spray, antiseptic wipes, glucose tablets and a small first aid kit. I expect you guys to stay clean. I know what dirty bones smell like, and it's nothing like any kind of smell a human makes. The first person to start smelling of B.O will be riding on the roof."

"I have no objection to this." Black said certainly, looking through his bag.

"what's the deodorant for?" Rus asked, looking over the black can "dirty bones aside, we don't exactly sweat."

"The smell is obnoxious." you told him "If you need to be in a crowd, the smell of it will stop most humans getting too close."

Curious, Rus sprayed his sleeve before sniffing it, immediately recoiling with a violent flinch and opening the window beside him in hopes of getting rid of the smell.

"Rule 2." you went on "Have a go bag and keep it with you at all times."

You handed out the nondescript backpacks, their cheap stitching earning them a sneer from Black and Red.

"What's wrong with the ones Alphys gave us?" the smallest skeleton asked "They've got everything we need."

"The exact problem." you told him, grabbing the large bag Jack had given you from the back and hauling it forward "They're large, heavy, almost impossible to run in. What if we need to leave the car in a hurry? You going to stop and grab the luggage? If we need to hide, are you going to risk your bag being so big it gives you away?"

Black looked at the bag in a new light. You had to wonder how on earth they were training these government agents that this hadn't occurred to them.

"So what do we keep in the 'go' bag?" he asked seriously.

"If there was a fire, what would you grab first?" you replied.

"My brother." he answered without missing a beat.

"m'lord..." Rus gasped, eyes shining.

"A good answer, but not on this occasion." you told him, smiling a little as you started handing out more items "Wallet and everything that should be in it; pocket knife; bottled water; a small firearm and ammo; your hygiene kit; one change of clothes; rations; travel towel; powerpack and cables; and a torch. In an emergency, everything else is expendable."

"i didn't get a small firearm." Red mentioned casually as he packed his and Edges bags.

"You won't either." you practically growled at him "Rule 3 - what I say goes."

"Hey now, I'm the commanding officer here!" Black argued.

"And I'm the only human!" you pointed out sharply, actually making him flinch "I know how humans think, the things they notice, what will stand out. Did you even consider that wearing a woollen jumper in this weather would attract attention?"

"I... no...?" he admitted sheepishly, fingering the fabric.

"Look, we all have the same goal here." you promised him "I'm not going to give you bad advice, or do anything to put you in danger. If I say something, it's because it's beneficial to our mission. What was the point in bringing me along if you weren't going to listen to me?"

He stared you down a moment, dark red eye lights boring right into yours, before backing down and pulling off his jumper, stuffing it in the bag.

"Final rule." you finished, feeling your shoulders tense as the pounding in your head got worse "Touch me and I'll dust you."

Rus and Black looked positively shocked at that.

"Why would we-"

"You have nothing to worry about." Edge interrupted, pointedly side-eyeing his brother, who wisely remained silent.

Black opened his mouth to continue, but Rus stopped him with a hand on his shoulder, shaking his head in an 'I'll explain later' kind of way.

* * *

 

It wasn't long before you instituted a round of the quiet game, and it wasn't long after that that it was lost. You managed to keep Black quiet by giving the bumper book of puzzles and coloured pens you had bought, Edge content to focus on driving. You managed to eat some bread, rice cakes and fruit without vomiting, but your body was desperate for rest. You weren't the only one, as Rus was already asleep before 1pm and Red wasn't far behind him. Thus began the latest argument - do you find a hotel, or do you sleep in the van?

Edge insisted he was fine to keep driving, that he hardly ever slept anyway, but since the living compass he called his brother definitely did need to and he didn't want to drive for eight hours in the wrong direction, he eventually capitulated, but not before smirkingly pointing out to Black that he couldn't reach the pedals when he offered to drive instead.

"Five people in one room will attract too much attention." the small skeleton insisted "It's better to find a field to camp in, or sleep in the van."

"People sleeping in a van will attract even more attention." Edge argued "Do we just hope that a bored police officer or nosy passerby doesn't peak in? The tinting won't do anything if they press their face right to the window."

"we don't have a lot of money." Rus pointed out, again not mentioning where he had even gotten his from.

"can ya lie down in that seat?" Red asked him, turning around in his "even if we collapse the backs of the seats, there's no way we'll all fit."

"Then we sleep in shifts!" Black suggested.

"Find a cheap hotel." you told Edge, rubbing your temples as your migraine reached its zenith "Grungy, suspicious, looks like they'd sell you crack and a hooker with the room."

"I know the type." he insisted.

It was close to 7pm when you finally found the kind of dive you were after - you could practically see the cockroaches from the road. You went into the office to inquire about a room, Rus once again on your heel. The guy in the office looked like he'd sell you into human trafficking as soon as look at you, and would only accept cash up front, using up the last of your pilfered funds, but you managed to get a ground floor room you could park the van in front of.

Black was horrified, looking like he didn't want to touch anything, and took the antiseptic wipes from his bag to clean off anything he came into contact with.

" _Why_ did you want to stay here exactly?" he cringed.

"Because they won't ask questions." you knew "If they don't care enough to wash the sheets, they won't care enough to come knocking."

He looked at the two double beds with renewed horror.

"Papy..." he practically whined.

"on it, m'lord." his brother answered right away, scooping up all the bed sheets "i'll find a laundromat." 

"Premadonna." Edge chuckled.

"I'll come with you." Black grumbled, throwing the taller skel a poisonous look "I'll bring something healthy back for dinner."

"Be careful." you bid.

Had you been feeling better, you would have gone with them, but you were at your limit. The room was starting to spin as you headed to the bathroom, wobbling a little on your shaking legs.

"ya gonna take a shower, hun?" Red asked, watching your back as he sat on the edge of the bed and turned on the tv.

"No." you answered simply, shutting the door and locking it behind you.

The tub was surprisingly clean, even if the whole bathroom did smell strongly of bleach. You hardly noticed it as you kicked off your shoes and climbed into the tub, just having time to curl into the most comfortable position possible before you fell asleep.

* * *

 You weren't sure what time it was when you woke up, startled by the pounding on the bathroom door, but the pale white light filtering through the tiny frosted window suggested it was early in the morning. You didn't even have time to register who it was demanding you leave the room before the nausea returned at full force, leaping from the tub and throwing your head into the bowl as you threw up.

God, it stung. Was it food poisoning? Some kind of virus? You felt a cold sweat on your forehead, the cool of the cracked tiles under you feeling good on your skin. As your eyes started to clear, you absently looked into the bowl, expecting to see half digested chunks of bread and fruit amongst a watery slurry. Instead, the bowl was glowing a gentle yellow, your expulsion completely smooth. You stared at it, hardly believing your eyes, before the need to vomit overtook you again, more glowing yellow coating the porcelain. 

You weren't throwing up food anymore, or even water.

You were throwing up magic.   


	14. A Case of the Worst Possible Timing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many amazing comments on that last chapter! That twist didn't have anyone fooled... almost, anyway XD

You weren't a fool. You knew throwing up magic could only mean one thing.

With the splintering of cheap wood, the bathroom door was kicked open, bouncing against the wall. Red strode in, half worried and half pissed off, looking around for you as if he had expected you to climb out of the window in the night. The anger disappeared from his face entirely as you threw up again, clutching the porcelain throne for support.

"still, huh?" he sympathised, coming over and making sure your hair was clear from your face.

His touch revolted you, but you weren't in a position to do anything about it as you retched, whole body heaving. Your realisation, more than ever before, made you want him as far away from you as possible. 

"i think we should stop by a hospital." Red suggested, rubbing your back "at least get ya some saline or something."

"I don't need a hospital." you swore, tone clipped "It will only slow us down."

"i won't pretend to be a..."

Red trailed off, eye lights going small as pinpricks as he noticed the yellow glow in the bowl. He finally took his hand off your back, giving you an expression that was nearly impossible to read.

"... yer pregnant?"

You couldn't deny it. It's the only reason a human would ever throw up magic. Realising you hadn't refuted his accusation, he quickly got up and closed the bathroom door, giving the two of you some privacy as he came back over, filling the glass on the sink with water.

"what the hell are ya doin' here in this condition?!" he asked, voice quiet but strained "the hell are ya thinkin', puttin' ya baby in danger like this?!"

"I didn't know." you said honestly, taking the water when offered "This is the first time I've thrown up magic."

"how far along are ya?"

"I don't know." you repeated harshly "How can you even tell?"

"show me yer soul."

"Like fuck I will!"

"uh-huh."

When the light started to strobe, you thought your migraine was coming back, but as the whole bathroom fell into blackness and Red appeared as nothing but a lit up white form, you realised he had pulled you into a confrontation.

"You son of a bitch!" you swore at him.

His eyes were glued on your soul: the pink was stronger than you remembered, but clear as day in the middle was a shapeless form of pale glowing yellow. The soul of a baby monster... It looked safe and secure wrapped up in yours, and you surprised yourself with how relieved that made you feel.

"it's already got a trait." Red noted "ya got about 3 weeks before it's born." 

"That's not a lot of time..."

Red ended the confrontation, and the bathroom faded back in. He was almost shaking, bones rattling softly, as he sat back against the tub. You couldn't help but press your hand to your chest - knowing there was a tiny soulling in there made you feel both incredibly fragile and overwhelmingly strong. This vulnerable thing was relying on your squishy human body to protect it, and you'd fight the world before you let it down.

"... who's the father?" Red finally asked.

"I don't know." you admitted, realising for the first time what a conundrum this presented.

Was there any way for you to tell?

"ya don't...?!" Red started, before seeming to realise something, looking around shiftily "are ya havin' some kind of... financial difficulty?"

" _EXCUSE ME_?!" 

"ya said ya didn't know!" Red defended, holding up his hands.

"So you immediately assume I'm a prostitute?!" you screamed at him "God, you're stupid!"

"i deserve that." he admitted, still holding his hands up "but i know ya ain't exactly the sleepin' around type either, so..."

"It's one of two guys." you told him, not sure why you were bothering to justify yourself to him as you propped yourself up on the toilet, not moving far in case your morning sickness wasn't quite finished yet.

"anyone i know?" he pried.

"Sans and Papyrus."

Red actually laughed.

"help me out here, babe." he chuckled "there's a lot of guys with those names."

You just levelled him with a dry look. He seemed to realise then who you were talking about, physically flinching.

"axe and crooks?!" he cried "are ya  _blind_ if nothin' else?!"

"You aren't exactly Mettaton yourself!" you bit back "And it's 'Sugar', not 'Crooks'!"

"he ain't even here!"

" _I'm_ here!"

Red huffed and flustered for a minute, shaking his head and crossing his arms.

"ya never would hear a bad word said about 'em." he grumbled "i knew those two were close, but i didn't think they were  _that_ close. sharin' a mate... i couldn't do it..."

He quirked a browbone in your direction.

"they do know about each other, right?"

"Of course they do." you answered shortly, but refused to justify yourself further.

For a while, there was silence in the bathroom. Red didn't say anything, looking at the grimy tiles thoughtfully, and you wandered why he wanted to get in here so badly that he kicked down the door in the first place.

"what do ya wanna do?" he asked seriously.

"About what?" you replied, his question too vague for everything swirling around your head at the moment.

"it ain't too late." he told you, uncrossing his arms "to cut it out. i know how."

He laughed humorlessly, looking away from you again.

"one of the skills ya pick up, bein' a fell." he explained "not everybody wanted to bring kids into a world like that. it's a crude kind of birth control, but-"

"No." you interrupted as it dawned on you what he was asking.

This was the worst possible timing, but... you couldn't. How would you ever explain it to those two, when you saw them again? You could make it work. You could be careful. Once you were all home and safe, this would be a cause for celebration. You might not have planned it, but you weren't against it either.

"Stars, I never even thought about birth control." you realised "I thought monsters couldn't have babies unless they were soul bonded!"

Red snorted out a laugh.

"the hell told ya that?" he chuckled "look, ya wanna keep the kid, that's yer decision, but we gotta take ya back north."

"No." you told him again, finally feeling steady enough to get up and refill the water glass at the sink.

"ya can't stay!" he insisted, starting to get up himself "what we're doin' here is dangerous, and ya know it! if any of these monster haters find out yer carryin' a monster baby, it's curtains for _both_ of ya!"

"And what's the alternative?" you argued, turning back to him "Leave the fate of my mates in the hands of Tweedledee, Tweedledum, Edge-boy, and _you_? I don't think so! You need me!"

"Yer baby needs ya!" he almost yelled.

"I'll be fine!" you knew "You forget I grew up in this kind of circus, I know how to deal with danger, but if I have to sit at home and do nothing, then I'm going to worry myself to death! I'd miscarry from the stress to knowing I should be here!"

"that ain't the only problem!" Red insisted, quieter, but far more urgent as he grabbed your shoulders "that baby's gonna need magic, especially since you're gonna be throwin' it up for the next week. the kids dad ain't around, and the supplies of monster food we have ain't gonna be enough!"

That one got you. You seriously considered the implications of what he was saying.

"And if he was here?" you asked, picking his argument apart "What good could he do?"

"ya really don't know anything about monster pregnancy, do ya?" Red criticised "he'd donate his magic to ya soul through... intimate means. Yer mate ain't around, and unless you want one of the other guys to step in-"

"Absolutely not." you were sure.

"then ya need to be where the magic is." he finished "stuff ya face with the most monster food possible and let ya friends take care of ya. that's the only way this baby is gonna be born safe."

You stared each other down, his hands still on your shoulders, before there was a knock on the door.

"Are you finally awake?" Blacks voice called through it "We need to leave."

"Just let me brush my teeth." you called back "I'll be out soon."

You looked back to Red to see his eyes hadn't left you.

"they won't be okay with it." he pointed out.

"You aren't going to tell them." you ordered.

"babe-"

You broke free of his grip, stepping away and grabbing the toothbrush from the bag you had hastily discarded yesterday.

"I don't want to hear a word about this, Red." you told him "Until we're back in the Northland, this isn't even happening, capiche?"

"yer makin' the wrong call." is all he said.

"That's not your decision to make. Now get out, I'll be out soon."

* * *

 

It was much quieter this morning than it was all of yesterday. You thought that they might finally have argued themselves out, but from the way Black had shuffled closer to his brother and Edge had turned the radio down, you supposed they must still think you were ill. You were certain you looked it. Red kept glancing back at you in the mirror between giving directions, but Rus didn't even try to hide the fact he'd been staring at you.

Just as you were about to bite his head off, he reached into the inner pocket of his coat and pulled out a box of boiled sweets, passing them over to you. A little confused, you took them, only to feel something else being slid into your palm as well. As he been taking such pains to be covert, you only looked at the item under the pretence helping yourself to some sweets.

Magic morning sickness pills. Human formula.


	15. A Shot in the Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear, I must have started and erased this chapter 4 times before I was satisfied with it...

"Okay, I have to ask." you capitulated as you walked around the large shopping centre with Rus once again on your heel "Why do you keep licking things?"

The skeleton stopped, Freddy Fazbear plush inches from his face as he began to pull his scarf up, tongue already in the 'bleb' position.

"i used to be a member of the canine guard." he told you "my comrades told me you can pick up all sorts of information about objects and people by licking them."

You had never once seen the dog patrol licking things... outside of their messy eating habits.

"Every consider they were just fucking with you?" you asked.

Even though most of his face was covered, you were well versed enough with skeletons to know the string bean's face practically broke with the shit-eating grin that crossed it. He licked things to fuck with people. Judging by the confused and concerned looks of passersby, it was working.

"Put that down." you sighed at him "That's not what we're here for."

He did as he was told, falling into step behind you. You had attempted to make this run alone, but Rus had downright refused, shadowing you while the others remained in the van in the multistory car park. After three days on the road, you were running out of money and supplies, hence this little pit stop.

The second night, unable to find a suitable hotel, you had found a secluded back road and slept in the van, Rus securely between you and Red while Black and Edge (the resident insomniacs) took turns keeping watch. The third night you had all loaded up on coffee and energy drink to see you through, but by the time you found a reasonable dive yesterday afternoon you were all desperate for some proper shut eye. Edge wouldn't hear of you sleeping in the tub again, practically spooning you on one side of the bed while the skinny form of Rus and the tiny Black had the other side. Red slept on the floor.

Walking between the shops, you spied a middle-aged woman with a large bag, the top of which had no zip, as well as sunglasses and a large hat. Conspicuous jewellery, clothes of good quality, but not a named brand. She was in a crowd, watching a demonstration of some kind, and you had lifted her purse before you even registered what it was for - an anti-monster home protection device. Rus just chuckled as you palmed him the now empty purse, which he shortcutted back into the bag. The two of you wandered away from the crowd.

"People need to stop writing their PIN's on sticky notes." you thought as you peeled it off the card and headed to the atm.

"man, human's really all look alike, don't they?" Rus pondered as he hid you from view.

"I know, it's weird."

"you think so too?"

"I've always lived around monsters." you told him "There's maybe three or four humans in my town, including me. Seeing so many in one place feels really odd to me."

He chuckled again. The woman had a few grand in her account. You weren't a career criminal, so you took out her daily limit before snapping the card up and tossing it in the nearest bin. Perhaps it was short sighted not to get everything you could, but this wasn't a permanent lifestyle for you - you only had to do this long enough to find the boys and get back home. If you never had to pick another pocket after that, you'd be more than happy.

You passed a 'home defence' shop on your way to the camping store, the windows of which boasted the latest in monster detection and repulsion. Rus actually wandered in and had a look around for a minute, proving them all completely useless, before wandering out again.

"Satisfied?"

"very."

The camping shop was a couple of floors up, but Rus scoffed at taking the stairs, heading for the lift.

"Lazy bastard." you teased.

"i know who i am."

You could practically hear the smile in his voice.

It was just the two of you in the lift, which was good as the motion of it suddenly lurching up almost made you vomit. You managed to catch it just it time and force the feeling back down, hand over your mouth. Rus immediately fished around in his inner pockets and pulled out a box of sweets, the same one he had given you before.

Except that they weren't sweets. They were magical supplements, designed for humans carrying monster children. He had just decanted them into the sweet box (pineapple flavour, because his brother didn't like them) to make it less obvious. You thanked him as you took a couple.

"I've been meaning to ask." you admitted "How did you know I was pregnant? You must have known before I did to have even thought to bring these."

"i checked you when we first met." he admitted with a shrug.

" _Dude._ " you admonished.

"i know, i know, massive social faux pas." he excused "force of habit, i'm afraid. sorry."

"I can't complain." you sighed, feeling a little stronger as you sucked on the hard supplements "These pills of yours have been a lifesaver."

"i thought so too, back when i was pregnant." he admitted as he put them back in his pocket "made the morning sickness phase a lot easier."

"You have a kid?" you asked him, honestly surprised.

"... no."

You shot him a look, but you didn't ask. He seemed to appreciate your discretion, shuffling out after you as the lift opened.

* * *

 

Once you had what you came for, you made your way back to the van. You weren't particularly looking forward to it: as was typical for strong personalities trapped in a small space for an indefinite period of time, everyone was starting to get on each others nerves. Black and Edges sniping had taken on a nasty tone, and Red was all but growling at Rus in his attempts to keep the two of you apart, which made Black snap at him, which made Edge snap back at Black, which reignited the whole thing. You mostly tried to keep to yourself, lost in your thoughts.

You had done a lot of thinking. Mostly because thinking stopped you from worrying. You thought about new recipes to try at work to stop you worrying about whether your boys had eaten at all during their capture. You thought about how weird and uniform the human houses were to stop yourself worrying that Red was leading you around in circles, or the complete wrong direction, in order to prolong his temporary freedom, not caring even slightly about the fate of his cousins. You thought about names for your baby to stop yourself worrying about the danger you were putting it in. 

As you exited the lift, heading back to the car, you both froze, Rus gently grabbing your elbow to make sure you were paying attention: there were a couple of police officers standing at the back of the van. A man and a woman, having a discussion with someone over the radio. Had someone taken a good look inside the van? Had Edge wandered out to stretch his legs and ran into someone? You felt Rus' grip tighten on you. Was he scared?

"Follow my lead." you ordered him, making a mental note when you felt him flinch "And don't contradict what I say."

You walked towards the van with complete confidence, and the put upon scowl of anyone inconvenienced while running errands. You greeted the officers with a restrained 'good afternoon' as you grabbed the back door, jiggling it as if it was faulty to give the guys time to cover their faces (if they hadn't already for some reason), before pulling it open and tossing your bags inside. Rus' hand was still on your elbow. He was shaking.

"Excuse me, is this your van?" the male officer asked, pointing to it with his pen.

"No, I always throw my stuff in random peoples cars." you answered, turning back to them and putting your hands on your hips "Is there a problem?"

"We had a report of suspected monsters-"

You let out a tired groan before the officer even finished, rubbing your eyes to give off the maximum 'this shit again' vibe. You knew the officers were shooting each other confused looks. 

"Look, I'm going to be completely honest with you." you lied out of your teeth, addressing the female officer "The guys in the van are my cousins, and they're just as human as I am."

You changed your tone, shuffling on your feet a little as if uncomfortable discussing something so personal with a stranger.

"There was a fire." you told her "About ten years ago. We were having a family reunion at the time, and... well, we're the ones that survived, and my cousins... they don't have much of their faces left."

The officers face immediately softened, and you knew you had her hook, line and sinker.

"With all the monster hysteria going around... it's hard to live around people, y'know? My little cousin in there is 12 - we've got to home school him because the other kids kept calling him a monster. It got really bad."

The female officer was nodding, tearing up a little, while the male officer looked sceptical.

"Is that why they won't get out of the van?" he asked.

"Exactly." you told him "They either make children cry, get accused of being monsters, or get arrested for looking shifty with their faces all covered. They can't win."

You turned back to the female officer.

"Hell, we have to live out in the middle of nowhere just to get any kind of peace." you went on "People actually tried to burn them. Can you believe that? People are so cruel."

The female officer shook her head in sympathy, making notes on her pad.

"People are cruel." she agreed "They'll find any reason to pick on people."

'Pick on', huh?

"Can you even imagine growing up like that?" you said "Most of us were teenagers already, but my baby cousin... he's never known a world where other people aren't calling him a monster."

The officer snapped her pad shut, putting it back in her pocket. As far as she was concerned, the matter was over.

"Do you have any proof of this?" the male officer again questioned you.

He clearly didn't believe you. You looked at him with a righteous anger, patting the hand that was still clamped on your arm.

"Rus, buddy." you said without taking your eyes off the officer "Show him your nose."

The skeleton actually flinched.

"bu-bu-bu-" he stammered.

You turned to him, giving him a patient smile.

"It's alright." you told him "Just your nose."

Rus took a moment to collect himself. Why was he so scared? He was normally so laid back. He wasn't playing a role, you were sure of it - you were almost certain you were going to get a bruise from how tightly he'd been holding your arm. Finally, he carefully grabbed the bandanna covering his face, turning to face the officers, and pulled it down just enough to show off his nose hole.

The risk was calculated - skeleton monsters and a humans actual skeleton were noticeably different to look at, but the nose hole and it's various parts were almost identical. They were already expecting to see something gruesome, thanks to your little story, and the female officer immediately looked away, the male officer only taking a moment longer. With them both looking away, Rus re-covered his face, fussing with the fabric and smoothing it down.

"Satisfied?" you growled at the male officer.

"Thank you for your time." the female officer said, taking her colleagues arm to pull him away "Sorry to bother you. Have a good afternoon."

"And to you." you finished, crossing you arms.

You didn't stop Rus from almost diving into the van as the officers left, but you stayed and stared at them until they were out of sight before you even thought of climbing in yourself. The second you shut the door behind you, Edge locked them all and started the engine.

"good save, cupcake." Red said quietly, clearly rattled.

He had been scared too. Knowing that, you didn't quite have it in you to bite his head off for calling you 'cupcake'. Rus had his head on his brothers shoulder, clutching him desperately as the diminutive skel shushed and soothed him. You could hear his bones rattling.

"You okay there, Rus?" you asked, knowing full well he wasn't.

"he's got ptsd up the wazoo." Red explained casually "he'll be fine."

You wondered what triggered him, but had the good sense not to ask. You sat back and took a deep breath as Edge drove, only just under the speed limit, away from town.

* * *

 

"okay, no, i  _get_ that." Red went on, gesticulating in frustration "what I wanna know is, _why do ya call him dad_?"

"Because he said I could?" Edge answered like it's obvious, to which his brother let out an aggravated sigh.

You couldn't blame them for bickering - it wasn't like there was much else to do on this endless road of corn. You lived in a farming town, you understood that a lot of fields would contain the same crops, but this? This was ridiculous. The corn was so high it was taller than Edge, and it was on both sides of the otherwise featureless straight road, which you had been on for hours now. You were pretty sure this is what purgatory must look like.

It was getting late - the sun was settling somewhere behind the infinite corn, and you were looking for a good place to pull over and make good use of your new camping gear, if need be, but there was nothing but road, ditches and corn. Rus had calmed down by now, laid down on the back seat with his head in your lap, Black using his legs as a table for his puzzle book. Somehow you had ended up holding his hand, but neither of you seemed to mind, casually leaving your fingers intertwined over his sternum.

"babe, could ya  _please_ -" Red started, twisting in his chair to look at you.

"Don't call me babe." you immediately cut him off "And no, I couldn't."

"ya don't think it's a little bit weird?" he stressed.

"He's a better influence than Wing was." you supposed, feigning nonchalance only because you saw how much Edges was annoying him "Even if he did break off half his leg bones and pull out all his teeth."

Red's eye light disappeared - this was apparently new information to him.

" _what_?!" he yelled, turning to his brother "when the fuck did this happen?!"

"Eleven years? Give or take?" he answered, eyeing you in the mirror "And he said he was sorry."

" _he said he was sorry_?!" Red gasped, throwing up his hands " _well that makes it alright then_!!"

"How are the legs these days?" you asked, feeling Rus chuckle silently "I noticed you aren't limping anymore."

"Good thanks." Edge answered happily, earning another frustrated squeal next to him "They're 3D printed these days, way lighter than the old metal ones. If I didn't have to take them off to clean them, I wouldn't even know they weren't my bones."

"Technology, eh?"

" _but why do ya call him dad?!"_ Red almost screamed.

Everyone in the car went silent. The light had suddenly changed, and not from the setting sun.

"Car behind us." Edge confirmed.

"High beams when the sun's out." you noted.

"wasn't there two minutes ago. must've been speeding like the devil to catch up to us." Red agreed.

"Maybe something, maybe nothing." Black finished "Weapons ready."

The three of you in the back seat immediately dove into your bags and pulled out the small arms within. Red shrunk in his seat.

"the guy without magic would sure appreciate a weapon of some kind right now." he mentioned.

"He should have thought of that before all the shit he pulled." you told him.

Edge kept the speed limit, eyes flicking between the road and the rear view mirror. You craned around to take a good look at the car. It had a row of lights on the top, but if that beat up piece of shit was a police car then you and Red had a sizzling erotic romance. Sure enough, the lights started to flash.

"That's not a police car." Black agreed "That's a murder car."

"five souls in the car." Rus warned "all human. all have bad intent."

"No-one else around for miles." Edge added.

"are we pulling over?" Red finished.

The car rammed into the back of the van. Why did they even bother with the subterfuge if they were going to pull shit like this?

"It might be in our best interests to get out and fight." Edge suggested "We can't exactly outrun them in this thing."

None of the boys wanted to pull over, and neither did you, but as the car rammed you again, harder this time, it was clear whoever these assholes were weren't going to let you go easily. Judging by how confident they were in their approach, they were probably locals who knew this road was quiet enough that they could get away with this.

"Alright." you grumbled "Pull over."

The skels covered their faces as Edge pulled over to the side of the road. The car stopped right beside you, all the men within getting out. They were all armed with guns and bats, and one of them you recognised immediately.

The male cop from the parking lot. Apparently, he hadn't been as convinced as his partner was. He had changed out of his uniform, but it was definitely him. It had been a good five hours since you had been there, and he had managed to finish his shift, change his clothes, round up a posse and catch up to you in that piece of shit car. Talking wasn't going to do you any good. The men surrounded the car, weapons ready, as the cop knocked on the front passenger door, making Red flinch away from it.

"I know you're in there, monsters!" he called, a clear view blocked by the tint in the windows "Come out!"

"I'll get out first." you suggested "See if I can't make the others doubt him."

"Be careful." Edge bid, reaching for his own weapon from under his seat.

You carefully opened the door, the officer stepping back to let you out, but you didn't move far from the opening. Five guys, including him, with two rifles that you could see from here were poorly maintained, a sidearm that definitely wasn't standard issue, and two bats with nails in. These guys were hardly professionals, but anyone willing to take the time to make a nail bat was going to be looking for any excuse to use it.

"Officer." you greeted, letting him know you still recognised him in his civvies "What can we do for you?"

"You can step away from the van." he said without missing a beat "And hand over the monsters."

"I already told you." you said with the same aggrieved sigh "They aren't-"

"DON'T YOU FUCK WITH ME!" he suddenly roared, clearly trying to intimidate you "I know a fucking monster when I see one!"

You hadn't even flinched, and you could see that unnerved him. He had expected you to cower. This wasn't his first time doing this.

"You're making a mistake." you told them.

"Shut up, bitch!" the man to your right barked, raising the butt of his rifle to hit you in the head.

Rookie move.

You grabbed it, taking advantage of his lousy trigger discipline to aim the barrel at his face and fire. The resulting red spray coated the side of the van, and you kept hold of the rifle as the body fell, headless, to the ground. The gun was bulky and poorly balanced - it would have been a cheap piece of shit when it was new. The shot was also the signal for the others to act, a wall of red and blue bones surrounding the van as the doors blew open. The men screamed and swore, backing away quickly.

You knew then that they had never even seen a monster before. How many humans had these assholes lynched?

A gaster blaster materialised over the van. It was small, but the blast it fired was powerful, obliterating one of the bat wielding men. The other came at you, weapon raised, only for a far larger blaster to forgo the whole 'blasting' thing and straight bite the man in half Jurassic Park style, earning nothing but a squelch and crunching of bones. The last rifle guy seemed to remember he existed, raising his gun with shaking arms, only for it to be grabbed by Edge, who was still half way out of the car, wrenching it from his grip as he stood to his full height.

"Sweet mother of god!" the human declared, looking up at him as if he was godzilla.

"Actually, I'm a man." Edge answered smoothly, breaking the rifle in half with his bare hands "But your confusion is understandable, if you've never seen a skeleton before."

The man immediately ran away, ignoring the car parked behind yours, and legged it back down the road, looking fearfully over his shoulder. No-one even attempted to follow him as a yelp rang out.

"help help help help help." Red chanted, not making any sudden moves as a sidearm was pressed to his skull.

The cop had dragged him from the van, one arm around Red's neck as the other held the gun to him.

"Stay away you fucking freaks!" he cried "Monsters! Monsters!"

"This must be a big day for you." you said casually as you took your own small gun from where it was secreted in your waistband, not trusting the aim on the piece of shit rifle you had pilfered "Have you ever been right before?"

"You fucking bitch!" he swore at you "Human traitor! You should be-!"

You didn't let him finish, shooting him in the head. Red was still shaking as the body fell to the ground behind him.

"You must be very confident in your aim." Black wondered as he stuck his head out of the van.

"A bit off centre, but it got the job done." you admitted "You good there, Red?"

"if i had a bladder i woulda just pissed myself..." the skel admitted, shaking so hard you could hear his bones rattle as he fell to his knees, gripping the grass of the verge as if scared he would never see it again.

"Not to ruin the moment." Edge interrupted "What are we going to do about him?"

He pointed to the guy that was running away. He had been scared so witless that he hadn't even thought of turning into the corn, following the straight path. Idiot.

"Hand gun won't reach him now." you sighed.

Edge only smirked at this, reaching over the van and handing you his rifle. Taking it, you recognised the firearm immediately - heavy, perfectly balanced, black steel and mesquite, and burned into the corner of the wood was your initials. This was your gun. The gun your father had build for you, the one he taught you to shoot with, the one he expected you to have your entire life. The one you had left behind when you rejected his way of life. This way of life.

Without a word, you walked to the middle of the empty road, got down on one knee, and bought the rifle up, resting the butt on your shoulder blade. As the smell of gunpowder and varnish hit you, you were suddenly twelve years old again, living in the wilderness, training for the war that was life.

You pulled the trigger. Seconds later, the man running down the road fell down, trailing a bright red line behind him. Stupid bastard should have turned into the corn.

You heard Edge whistle, clearly impressed, snapping you back to the present. You handed him back the rifle, going to the van and poking your head in.

Rus was all curled up, arms around his knees, taking deep breaths, while Black rubbed his back.

"You good?" you asked him.

"yeah." he swore "no uniform this time. just gimme a minute."

You obliged, leaving the two of them alone. Red was now stood by his brother, checking him over looking for injuries until the younger swatted his fussing hands away.

"What are we going to do about this?" Edge asked you, gesturing to the car "We can't leave it here and just hope no-one comes across it."

"the guy got that posse together quickly." Red agreed "chances are good those were just the guys that were available at sort notice. they knew to look for the van, and with that guy bein' a cop..."

He didn't finish the sentence, but the implication was clear - there was a very good chance others would be looking for the van now.

"Edge, swap the plates." you ordered "And keep your eyes peeled. We're going to need a new ride."

"Roger that."

"Red, get the trash into the other car." you went on "I'll rig it to explode in..." you checked your watch "Two hours. That'll give us plenty of time to be as far away as possible."

"Bold of you to assume the clock in that piece of shit car works." Edge supposed.

"for the love of asriel, please let me swap with someone whose gravity magic actually works right now." Red begged, disgust clear on his face as he regarded the corpses around you.

"I got it covered." Black interrupted, appearing suddenly beside you "You clean the blood off the van. And use the bleach, not the water."

"ain't my first time cleanin' up blood." he grumbled, but was clearly relieved to not have to touch the bodies.

With no further ado, you set to your tasks. Luckily, the analogue clock in the old car did still work, so now it was just a case of wiring. After about ten minutes, Rus ducked his head into the car.

"anything i can do to help?" he asked.

"Sure." you told him "I'll pop the hood. Just follow my instructions, we'll have this bomb rigged up in no time."

He gave you a gentle, almost grateful smile before doing what you asked.

By the time the timer ticked down and the stuffed car ignited, you were far enough away that you didn't even see the fire in the moonless night. 


	16. A Second Most Unwelcome Reunion

You arrived in the next town at stupid o'clock in the morning, too early for even the farmers to be out. Red was so tired he could barely keep his eyes ignited, and without your navigator it was pointless to continue. You all took what you could carry from the van, ditching it outside of town, and hiked the rest of the way in. You passed a house with it's front windows and doors boarded up, so Rus handed his bag to Edge and shortcutted inside, beckoning you around the back after a few moments. The old house was barely more than a ruin, but as long as the floor didn't give way, it would do.

Once safely inside, you pushed an abandoned table up to the unlocked back door to keep it closed, the boys doing the same with the front just to be sure, and carefully headed up the stairs, using nothing but the light from the monsters eyes to guide the way. You set yourselves up in one of the rooms towards the back, Black and Edge deciding between themselves who was watching what side of the house while those of you who actually slept rolled out the sleeping bags. Red was asleep before his head even hit the bag he was using as a pillow, Rus taking a moment to smoke a cigarette, well away from the window, before doing the same. You lay awake a long time, thinking about the events of the night, how easy it was to slip back into long repressed habits, before you eventually fell asleep yourself.

* * *

 You woke up to the smell of cigarette smoke, so immediately assumed Rus must be awake - however, he was sleeping peacefully in the front room, curled up around his brother like the worlds boniest cat, head in his lap, while Black kept a silent watch out the window. Edge was in this room, as close to sleeping as he ever got - sat up against the wall with one arm on an upturned knee like some kind of cool guy, eyes closed and breathing slow and even.

The smell of smoke was coming from Red, who was sat by the back window looking out, pilfered cigarette in hand. How unusual that such a lazy monster was one of the first ones up. Knowing he was awake while you were sleeping made you incredibly uncomfortable - while Red had never been sexually violent towards you... well, he'd never been a smoker either.

God, everything ached. You'd been sat in that damn van too long. You couldn't even imagine how a tall guy like Edge must feel. As you sat up, you felt a now very familiar sensation wash over you.

Morning sickness.

You just had time to struggle out of your sleeping bag and bolt for the barely functional bathroom before yellow magic burst from your mouth, coating the tiles. Thank god this stage was nearly over. Whoever called it 'morning' sickness had been labouring under a grave misunderstanding, but you supposed 'random sickness' or 'whenever-the-hell-it-feels-like-it vomiting' didn't quite have the same ring to it. The smell of cigarettes hit you, but you weren't optimistic enough to think that it was Rus.

"ya doin' okay there, doll?" Red asked quietly, voice a little hoarse.

"Enough with the insipid fucking pet names already." you practically growled at him "I'm not your 'cupcake', I'm not your 'doll', and I'm sure as hell not your 'babe'."

"forgot how grumpy ya were in the mornin'." he thought humorlessly, sitting down on the floor and putting his back to the wall beside you.

He handed you a bottle of water. You made sure it was sealed before you even thought about drinking it.

"this is gonna sound weird." he told you, pointedly not looking in your direction "but... to be honest... i'm not entirely sure if i even remember yer name correctly. all that chaos, all the mess, everythin' that's happened since then... it was so long ago, ya ever wonder if yer even rememberin' it right?"

"No." you said bluntly "I remember it perfectly fine."

He finally looked at you, arching a brow bone, but you were resolute. He was the one who was fucking crazy back then, not you.

"just me then." he agreed as you threw up again "ten years of therapy makes ya doubt yerself. guess ya'd know all about that."

"The only one who ever tried to gaslight me was you. My shrink never told me all that crap never happened."

Red looked at you thoughtfully. After a while, he nodded sombrely to himself.

"i'm sorry." he said.

"For what?" you sighed.

"everythin'. everythin' i did. everythin' i took from ya. it made perfect sense to me at the time, but when i think about it now... look, ya don't have ta forgive me, even i know it's too late for that. just know that i really, truly am sorry."

"Unless you can give me back the ten years I spent hiding from you, your 'sorry' doesn't do sweet fuck all for me." 

"yer a lot harsher than i remember."

"Ten years without my family will do that."

"how is anna these days?"

"I wouldn't know." you replied coldly.

Red didn't seem to be getting the hint.

"can i ask ya somethin'?"

"If you must."

"we went to the beach, right?"

"Once."

"ya were wearin' shorts and a t-shirt." he went on "and readin' a book from yer college course."

"Something else I had to give up because of you." you confirmed, wiping some stray magic from your chin in the most glamorous way it was possible to wipe vomit.

"ya were wearing a bikini under ya clothes." he recalled "ya wanted to wear it, ya just didn't feel like ya could."

"What's your point, Red?" you challenged, looking him right in the eye.

He didn't answer right away, looking at you for a moment more before smiling softly.

"no point, darlin'. just makin' sure i remember it right."

You opened your mouth to yell at him about the latest pet name, but a clattering in the front room cut you off. Rus clumsily walked in, trying to look like he wasn't rushing despite the fact he obviously was, and knelt down behind you, rubbing your back, while he glared at Red.

"thanks for holding the fort." he said, but his tone betrayed his real thoughts "i can take it from here."

"since when did the two of ya become best friends?" was Red's answer as he gave the other a dangerous smirk "ya met less than two weeks ago, but ya act like yer soulmates. what's up with that?"

"Red, get out." you snapped.

He opened his mouth, but an argument was stopped when a large gloved hand grabbed the front of his shirt and hauled him to his feet. Edge grumbled as he pulled his brother from the room and shut the bathroom door behind him.

"i'm so sorry, i was sleeping, i didn't notice you were up." Rus immediately started fussing "are you okay? did he do anything? are you-"

"Rus!" you interrupted, grabbing his flailing hands to calm him down "I'm fine! Relax!"

He was shaking again. Was he still feeling fragile after being so badly triggered yesterday?

"Are you okay?" you asked him seriously "You're rattling."

Realising you were right, he took a deep, shaky breath, closing his eyes as he held it a moment, and sighed it out.

"i'm sorry." he said, eyes still closed "i'm projecting, i... stars, i'm such a _fuck up_..." 

You leaned up on your knees, wrapping your arms around his shaking shoulders. He didn't hesitate to hug you back, holding you tightly at first, but it occured to him he might be hurting you, as he loosened up his grip slightly. He didn't let go, however, burying his face in your shoulder the same way he did with his brother. The action wasn't lost on you, and you gave him as long as he needed to collect himself.

Or, you would have, but the urge to vomit overpowered your empathetic senses, and you pushed him away roughly just in time to turn back to the toilet. You heard him chuckle behind you.

"as much as i like hugs, i like not being vomited on more." he confessed, reaching into his pocket to pull out the pills.

* * *

 

When you finally left the bathroom, the other three were huddled in one of the front bedrooms, peeking out between the boards. You could hear the sound of church bells very close by. Was it a Sunday? You were really out of touch...

"We good?" you asked, walking over to them.

"Better than good." Black told you, stepping back and gesturing outside "Take a look."

You stepped into his place - the church was indeed close, just across the road and behind the next row of houses. From here you could see a primly dressed congregation gathered outside. You checked your watch - service was just about to start.

"Check out the preacher." Black went on.

You picked him out easily enough, thanks to the clothes. He had a mane of blonde hair and a beard that made you think he was trying to compensate for something.

"That's McReady." the small skeleton finished.

You looked to Red for confirmation. The picture of disgust that was his face was proof enough.

"i didn't think we were this close, but when i tried to orient us again... bastard was right there." he explained "so that's what he looks like when he's not high off his face..."

"Black, get changed." you ordered immediately, stepping away from the window and going to your bag "Whatever you have that's smart and plain."

"i should-" Rus started.

"You should stay here." you interrupted "Even with the face mask, you won't pass for a churchgoer."

You shut the door behind you, picking out whatever in your bag was pastel and middle class enough at a glance, before making yourself look as dowdy as possible. Black was similarly ready in his buttoned shirt and jumper, deciding what to tie around his face. You picked the black spray can of deodorant from his bag and sprayed him down, earning a disgusted groan from all the skeletons as they backed away from him.

"If anyone asks, you're my son." you told him "You're eight years old."

"I'm not _that_ short." he argued.

"You're a big eight year old." you conceded "We're here visiting some elderly relatives that live just out of town, a great aunt or something."

He nodded in compliance, tying a bandanna around his face.

"How are we explaining this?" he asked.

"You're in a rebellious phase, and you don't want to be seen in church."

You picked the hoodie from his bag to complete the look.

"Edge, how's the battery on your phone?" you asked.

"Full." he confirmed.

You pulled out your own, confirming the same. You called him, which he answered and put on speakerphone, and you slipped yours into the pocket of your cardigan.

"ya look terrible." Red grimaced.

"I'm not here to impress you." you replied "Black, let's go."

The little skeleton followed you out of the room and down the stairs. As you moved the table and get outside, you paused for a moment to make sure Edge could still hear you.

"Copy that." came the reply from your pocket.

"Complete radio silence." you instructed "Watch my six."

You headed for the church, finding a path around the house across the road. Most of the congregation was inside now, and you followed behind as if you belonged there.

"You really should consider joining us in the service." Black whispered to you "You're a natural at this."

"Not now." you grumbled.

You kept your head low, sitting in the back pew near the door. No-one was paying attention to you, especially as McReady started to talk. He talked very briefly about religion, paying it no more than lip service before he moved on to what people were really here to hear - anti-monster rhetoric. Black shuffled closer to you as it went on, clearly uncomfortable, and you put your arm around his shoulder as if he was a grumpy child, ready to pull from from the building the second it may be necessary.

"I have been a victim of the monsters evil magic!" he proclaimed to the crowd "Their wicked mind control made me do things no human would ever dream of!"

If by 'wicked mind control' he meant 'echo', and 'things no human would ever dream of' he meant 'illegal stuff junkies do all the time', then sure. Him blaming his addiction and the things he did to get his fix on evil mind controlling magic said a lot about him, though.

"The savage north must be purged!" he declared "The earth must be cleansed of her demons!"

The congregation cheered in agreement. You wondered what people like him would rally against if the monsters actually did disappear. People like that always needed an enemy.

"Too many good men, women and children are trapped in the thrall of those devils, but with faith, education and good human values, they can be saved!"

... This was starting to sound familiar.

"They're using good human men as slaves, good human women and children for their sick, unnatural vices!"

 _Very_ familiar.  

As casually as possible, you looked around the crowd. There, in the front row, you spotted her easily, looking up at the preacher with dewy eyes.

Your fucking mother.

You felt like throwing up again, and it wasn't from morning sickness. All the pieces finally connected - McReady was your mothers preacher, she went to him when you wouldn't be 'saved', and he used his old underworld connections to kidnap your boys. But why them? What was his angle? Next to her was a man you fairly assumed was her husband, and two teenage children who looked a lot like her. A lot like _you_... fuck, you had siblings! Siblings she had never once mentioned when she came to visit you...

"The monsters have always _claimed_ they want nothing but peace!" McReady went on "The monsters have always _claimed_ they live in harmony with humans! These have all been lies, and we have always known it!"

The crowd cheered in agreement once again. Did this guy really have to shout so much?

"But for the first time, friends, we have proof!" he declared "For the first time we have found actual, living, human eating monsters!"

The congregation gasped. For you, the other shoe dropped.

"Even amongst these vile creatures, they are the lowest of the low!" he proclaimed "Their unnatural forms have been further warped and twisted as they sold their souls to the devil in return for the ability to eat human flesh. It was one of our own who found them, one of our own who exposed these depraved animals, even as they used their malevolent powers to control, defile, and eat her own child!"

The crowd gasped again, and your mother let out a theatrical sob, burying her face in her handkerchief. The women around her patted her back or shoulder, her husband putting a supportive arm around her. You would have rolled your eyes if you weren't trying so hard to be incognito. You wondered who had told whom that you had been eaten.

"But don't cry for the poor child's soul, ladies and gentlemen!" McReady beseeched "For we will do the lords work! We will burn these abominations to god, and free the child's tortured soul from the grip of the devil! Using the weapons of righteousness-!"  

Oh, you were _sure_.

"We have captured these depraved beasts!"

Another audience gasped. _This isn't a fucking soap opera_ , you thought, wishing they would shut up so you could hear the important information.

"This Friday night, we will do the lords work and burn these abominations!" he repeated "And be free of two of their vile, flesh eating kind forever!"

A deafening cheer broke out, but you could hear a quiet rattle, the sound so very different beneath the din. Black was shaking - the intent in this room must be almost poisonous. The older woman next to you was starting to pay attention.

"Honey, are you feeling sick again?" you cooed, leaning down and putting your hand over his forehead "You need some fresh air?"

"The bathroom is just down the hall." the woman told you, pointing to the side of the room where a dark hallway loomed "Third door."

"Thanks." you said as sincerely as you could, practically picking Black up and herding him around the back of the pews.

It was a single stall bathroom, and you barely had time to lock the door before Black was tearing off his face coverings, gasping and clawing at his neck as if he couldn't breathe.

"I have to get out!" he shrieked "I have to get out, I HAVE TO GET OUT!"

"Calm down!" you barked, pulling your phone from your pocket "Edge, you get all that?"

"Every word." he grumbled unhappily "Axe and Cr... Axe and Sugar are somewhere in this town."

"And we have a deadline to find them." you finished "Anyone outside? We need an exit."

There was a pause on the other end.

"All clear." he said finally.

"Copy. Black, put your mask back on, we're going out the window."

He still looked panicked, but did as you said. You boosted him out first, following after and all but sprinting back to the house to plan your next move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who has some time off work! Updates will increase a little until I go back.


	17. An Exceptionally Bad Idea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short but important chapter.
> 
> I wanted to put one like this in Love? I Think Not, but it just didn't fit. Let me know what you think!

The plan was a simple one - at nightfall, search the towns public buildings in order of 'most likely to be holding monsters prisoner'. Make no noise, leave no proof that you'd even been there. If they weren't in any public buildings, start searching homes the next night. There were about 200 homes in this small town, it wouldn't take long for the four of you to comb them. (Four because you didn't trust Red not to run off now his part as navigator was done, so you were going to chain him to a pipe while you were out.)

Like all simple plans, however, there were a million things that could go wrong. No matter how carefully timed everything was, no matter how cautious you were, you couldn't plan for every eventuality. The boys had their orders - under no circumstances were they to get caught, even if it meant leaving you behind. Edge and Black could use layers to escape, and Rus had his shortcuts, but humans couldn't use layers, and... well, Rus didn't trust himself, thanks to his PTSD. He admitted that that's why he hadn't shortcutted you all across the river to begin with: when a monster had any kind of mental illness, a lot could go wrong with their magic. You told him not to worry about it, and in no uncertain terms was he to allow himself to be seen by humans, regardless of if you were there or not.

The first thing you had to do, before you could even think of searching anywhere, was plan how you were going to escape. You needed to steal another mode of transport, but with this being such a small town, someone was bound to notice if a stolen car was parked somewhere. With that in mind, you had changed into something more comfortable the second you had a plan in place, you and Rus finding the towns hardware store. Being Sunday, it was closed, but you were able to see the security cameras through the front windows. After a little mental maths, Rus shortcutted you both inside to a spot the cameras couldn't see, and you looked around for what you needed.

"Nine o'clock." you pointed out.

He looked to his left. Sure enough, on the other side of the shop were the cans of spray paint. Using his gravity magic, he picked out a black one, giving it a good shake before floating it over to each of the cameras and spraying them down. Only once he was done with that did you step away from him.

"what about other alarms?" he fretted, looking around as he shadowed you.

"In a mom-and-pop place like this?" you thought "Front and back doors at most. I'm surprised they even had cameras. Keep your voice down, though, they might live upstairs."

Rus just nodded in answer, and the two of you filled your bags with as many cans of spray paint as you could. You also helped yourself to duct tape, hammers, wire cutters, a sander and paper, window tint and spray varnish. It wasn't going to look good, but since you were stealing the car anyway it didn't really matter. After a moments thought, you also pocketed a few packs of razors, a dremel deluxe kit, a pack of lighters and a few boxes of pens, but you ignored the till and safe completely.

"what are those for?" Rus asked.

"They're the most commonly stolen items in places like this." you told him "All the better to make them think it's some dumbass teenagers breaking in."

Rus hummed in approval, taking your arm and shortcutting you to the back door. You covered your arm with the large bandanna he had covering his face, and clumsily broke the window in the door. As you expected, this set off an alarm, but the two of you had shortcutted away before anyone even thought to come check on it.

Back at the house, you passed out a few of the cans to the boys.

"Think simple." you told them "Tags, crude drawings, misspelled words, quote-unquote occult symbols, anything idiot teenagers would do."

"I've already been thinking up ideas." Black smirked.

"I'll find the car." you went on "Edge, be back before an hour, and be prepared to strip it down."

"Black or silver?" he asked.

You checked the cans you had left.

"Black." you decided.

The titular skeleton perked up a moment, but blushed and perked back down when he realised what you were actually talking about.

"Rule number one." you went on "Don't be seen. Rule number two-"

"Don't be seen." you and Edge said at the same time.

He shook his head, but his expression was a fond one. You realised in that instance exactly how much you sounded like your father.

"can i not help?" Red argued from where he was chained to an exposed pipe "i can spray paint, and i look human enough in the dark."   

"No." you said bluntly "Everyone else, be back in no less than two hours."

* * *

 

Finding a car would be the easy part. You settled on a small Chelsea tractor*, the kind of which you had already seen four of in the last two streets alone. You would have picked something smaller, but you had to take in consideration Edge and Sugars height. The van had already been crowded enough, but this didn't need to last forever - just long enough to get away when need be. You didn't even need to hot wire it, since these keyless entry vehicles were absurdly easy to hack into if you knew what you were doing. Before even the car knew it had been stolen, you had it up behind the old house you were using as a home base, since there was a covered driveway and no other houses overlooking it.

It hadn't taken you more than 20 minutes, and the boys weren't back yet... it wouldn't hurt you to have a back-up car... You shoved your hands in your pockets and walked back to the street casually, as if intending to do nothing more than take a leisurely promenade in the early summer evening. You needed something that was the exact opposite of what you had just taken, so you picked what looked like a brand new muscle car. The internet said it was fast, but would fold like origami in a crash. 'Fast' was all you needed.

You were on your way back to the house when you got a phone call from Edge. You answered it - you had broken so many laws already, what was one more? Before you could even say 'hello', panicked shrieking and the sound of gunfire met your ears.

"WE NEED EXTRACTION!" Edge yelled, louder than you'd ever heard him "WE'RE AT THE CHURCH!"

What the-?! Why the fuck were they at the church?!

"Copy." you replied "Be out front in two minutes."

You put your foot down, barrelling along the quiet roads faster than anyone had ever done before. What the hell were those guys thinking?! Why were they at the church?! That wasn't the plan!

You screeched to a stop in front of the building just as the skeletons burst through the doors, throwing them open with such force that they broke. Poorly aimed gunshots rung out clearly in the air, blocked only momentarily by a wall of bones. Black, Edge, Red... where was Rus?! Your heart skipped erratically when you saw Edge holding him up, limp and covered in dust. Black threw himself into the back seat, reaching out as if to take his brother, but Edge climbed in the back as well, long limbs bent almost double in the tight space.

"yer not gonna drive?!" Red protested as he hopped into the front passenger seat and slammed the door shut.

"I NEED TO HEAL HIM!" was his brothers fraught reply.

"maybe i should-" Red started to say.

"Seat belts." you interrupted, putting the car in gear and tearing out of there so fast that the smell of burning rubber didn't even have time to reach your nose.

And not a moment too soon, as three cars full of gun-toting locals shot out of the church car park and gave chase.

Fucking idiots! Now the entire town knew there were more monsters around! Everyone would be on high alert! You couldn't even think about going back to the hideout until you had shaken these guys.

"Brace!" you ordered.

Edge immediately braced both himself and Rus. Black was fast enough to copy, but Red wasn't, smacking his head on the window next to him as you took a sharp turn.

"STOP STOP YOU'RE GONNA HURT HIM!" Black screeched.

"SHUT UP AND LET ME WORK, I NEED TO CONCENTRATE!" was Edges response.

" _fuck!_ " Red hissed, rubbing his skull.

"I told you to put on your seat belt." you told him coldly.

He looked at you with wide eyes, perhaps shocked by the complete lack of emotion in your voice, before scrambling with his belt.

"Brace!"

You took the next turn so sharply, it took the open door off the car you collided into, sending it flying while you didn't even slow down. You checked the mirror - your pursuers were far behind, but they had the advantage of local knowledge. How could you lose them in their own town?

Red was saying something to you, but you couldn't hear him. Change gear, accelerate, mirror, check for pedestrians. Select direction, ease up on gas, warn passengers-

"Brace!"

Spin wheel, engage hand break, correct fishtail. Change gear, accelerate, mirror...

Red was so scared, his eyes were tiny glowing dots of red in large black sockets, and he was bracing himself on the car and chair, as if that would somehow save him. Edge was bent over the unresponsive Rus, and while you could see the faint green glow of heeling magic, you didn't know if it was working. Black was screaming at him, crying hysterically, but you couldn't hear him either.

Your wing mirror exploded as a stray bullet actually hit it. Edge couldn't attack while he was healing Rus, and Black was in no state to do anything. Red spun around in his chair, angrily demanding something of the smallest skeleton and throwing out his wrists.

"Brace!"

There were no rivers in this town, no large sewer oulets, no factories. Change gear, accelerate, mirror. Could you hide in a field? The roads around the fields were long and straight. How could you lose them?

"Brace!"

Another bullet hit the rear of the car. It made a scattering noise. Buckshot? Did these guys not care who they hit?

You had to get out of town.

The houses and buildings flashed by in a blur - you no longer had any idea where you were. A bullet hit the back windscreen, shattering it. Edge ducked at the noise, but the bullet stayed lodged in the glass. Black was so panicked that he started hitting him for not healing his brother, but Edge managed to get control of the situation. He might have said something to you, but you weren't sure.

Ease up on the gas, turn the wheel, slam on the breaks. You couldn't lose them here, but a 180 degree turn would stump them. You didn't have time to register their faces as you sped past them, taking the next turn. At the end of this road, you could see corn. Just what you wanted.

Change gear, accelerate, mirror. Ease up on the gas, turn the wheel, compensate for the fishtail. Change gear, accelerate, mirror.

The corn became a blur of green and yellow. The cars appeared behind you, swerving in inexperience. Black and Red continued yelling at each other.

You needed an opening. Anything. Something that wasn't a straight road out of town.

Change gear, accelerate, mirror.

You took a sharp right. Nothing but corn in all directions. You couldn't lose them on this road, but you could drive as fast as the car would allow.

A dark line flashed in your eye. You chanced a look at the next one. A tractor trail through the field. Another one. Another one. Another one.

You had an idea.

You accelerated, literally putting the pedal to the metal. The sound of gunfire died down as you left it's range. Up ahead, a fork in the road. Just what you needed.

"BRACE!"

Ease up on the gas, turn the wheel, slam on the breaks. 180 into the tractor trail, up into the field before your pursuers knew where you'd gone. Once you could no longer see the road, you turned into the corn until the boot was buried, and stopped, turning everything off.

Aside from the sound of your heavy breathing (when did that start?), there was silence.

"...um... babe...?" Red ventured.

" _Shut... up_..."  you hissed through gritted teeth, glaring at him.

He looked at you like you were the devil, drawing his hand over his mouth in a zipper motion. Even Black had stopped screaming.

After a moment, you heard your pursuers cars shoot by, their engines suffering. They would turn back soon. After two roared past, Black opened his mouth, but you held up your hand, index finger extended, to indicate he should shut up. The last one limped past slower, but proceeded all the same. You didn't allow anyone to speak for a long time, taking some deep breaths to calm down. Finally, you turned to Red, who visibly flinched away from you.

"What... the _fuck_... happened?" you growled. 

His eyes darted about, as if deciding what to tell you, when a low moan from the back seat got your attention. Rus stirred, coughing dust.

"We can discuss this later." Edge begged, leaning forward to the front seat "Right now, we need to get him somewhere safe!"

"Can he go through the layers in this state?" you asked.

Edge took a good long look at him.

"Not very far." he decided.

"Back to base?"

"I think so."

"Basement." you ordered "If there is no basement, then attic. Understood?"

"Copy that." he replied sombrely, the look on his face betraying that he knew exactly how bad he'd fucked up "Black, can you make it?"

Black, who had been fussing over his brother again, looked shocked for a second before nodding seriously. The three of them disappeared soon after, leaving you and Red alone.

You didn't look at him, focusing instead on your breathing. Your heart rate was accelerated, and if the pounding in your ears was anything to go by, so was your blood pressure. This wasn't good for the baby.

Oh god, the baby... you hadn't even thought about it...

Red, wisely, said nothing, sitting with his hands nervously in his lap as he watched you rest your head on the steering wheel. You weren't sure how long you sat there, but it felt like a long time. The corn was blocking out much of the light, and before you knew it, the sun was setting.

Finally, feeling much calmer, you took your head off the wheel, looking at Red. He looked tired.

"What the fuck happened?" you repeated "Why were you in that fucking church?"

He didn't look around this time. Instead, he just looked guilty, staring you right in the face.

"i... i went to talk to mcready." he confessed "i thought... maybe i could get him to change his mind?"

You didn't buy that. It must have been clear on your face, as he immediately changed his story.

"i thought i could blackmail him." he corrected "the shit he did for wing to get his fix... i threatened to tell his 'flock', heh-heh... it didn't work."

"And the others?"

"i convinced my bro to come with me." he said "he's scary to look at, y'know? that mccerady was always a coward, i figured he'd fold... lil' black wouldn't hear of it, insisted on comin' with us, and rus came with him... everthin' went wrong-"

" _No shit_." you hissed.

He actually flinched at that.

"i'm sorry-" he insisted.

"All you had to do was nothing!" you accused "The fuck were you playing at?!"

"i was just tryin' to help-"

" _Were_ you? Because what you did was the exact fucking opposite of helping!" you yelled "They're _looking_ for us now! They know we're here! There's going to be extra security on Sans and Papyrus, if they don't move them entirely! What were you _thinking_?! Why did you do this?! Why didn't you let me-"

" _because yer fuckin' pregnant!_ " he yelled back "the fuck woulda happened if ya had been there?! if it woulda been _you_ who was shot?! what woulda happened to yer baby then?!"

You were shocked into silence by his tone. He was actually worried about your baby?

"i just wanted this to be over." he swore "i just wanted to get back across the border before ya baby was due. i wanted to make sure ya were _safe_."

He buried his head in his hands. You didn't know what to say. You'd been nothing but a bitch to him since you got him out of prison, and here he was more worried about your baby than you were.

"i fucked up..." he admitted "i'm _sorry_..."

You almost felt sorry for him.

 _Almost_.

"Pull yourself together." you told him, more softly than you meant to "You've got a long way to walk."

"yer makin' me walk back to town?" he asked, clearly disgusted by the idea.

"They're looking for this car." you reminded him, taking off your seat belt "We're both walking. Make sure your face is covered."

You struggled to get out of the car, the corn stiff and unwielding. Your arms were shaking, the adrenaline long since drained from your system, but you managed to pull yourself out. You took a moment, leaning against the car and just breathing, until you felt a presence beside you.

It was Red, of course, hands in his pockets. He looked at you seriously, as if unsure what to say, before extending his hand to you.

"let's go." he said.

"The fuck would I take your hand?" you growled, pushing away from the car.

"'cause there are no lights out here." he pointed out "and i got way better night vision than ya do."

You considered this a moment. He had a good point, but you still didn't want to take his hand. As you stood, you suddenly felt very weak, more than just physically.

He was still holding his hand out to you. You missed Sans and Papyrus so much, it physically hurt. You hadn't been without them this long in ten years. Maybe... maybe just the feel of bones would help you feel a little better?

With a final deep breath, you took the offered hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Translation for my non-British readers - a 'Chelsea Tractor' is any kind of supposedly 4x4 vehicle which has never and will never see a speck of mud in it's life, more often used as a status symbol on school runs than at it's full capacity.


	18. A Quiet Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy folks! Happy bank holiday to those of you in the UK, happy Monday to everyone else.
> 
> Reading the comments, quite a few people have guessed where this story is going (even if they don't realise it), which makes me very excited! I love reading all your comments and theories, you have no idea.

It was silent in the basement. Black was lying next to his brother, who was the only one granted the luxury of something soft of lie on. Somehow, he had fallen asleep - perhaps all the stress and trauma of seeing his brother injured had finally exhausted him. Red sat in the corner, busying his hands making new clothes with the materials he had lifted before, while you sat on the old wooden steps, phone in hand, leaning against the railings. Edge was in the attic, watching the road through the tiny window. Every now and then he would text you updates.

 

Edge:

They're in the next street, still going door to door.

They've got actual fucking flaming torches and pitchforks.

 

 

You:

Don't take any unnecessary risks. Turn off your phone when they get close.

 

Edge:

I wish you'd stop doing that.

 

You:

Doing what?

 

Edge:

Treating me like the little brother. I'm a few years older than you, remember?

 

'The' little brother, you noted. Not 'your' little brother, as if your siblingship wasn't even up for debate. You flipped the phone over in your hand a few times as you thought about it - from the start, Edge hadn't hesitated to call your father 'dad', and while of the three Fell brothers, Edge was the one you had the most leniency towards... all of them had proved to be somewhat unstable... Did he really think of you as a sibling? What did that mean for you, considering your history?

 

You:

I've been meaning to ask you about your relationship with my father. Since when have you been calling him dad?

 

Edge:

Six or seven years.

I know, it's kind of strange from the outside, but it makes sense to us.

 

You:

I just don't know if I could form a familial bond with someone who broke half my bones and pulled my teeth out.

 

Edge:

Not at first. I really hated him, but I couldn't be angry about what he did to me because of everything we did to you.

It seemed like it was fair.

 

You:

To Wing, maybe. I'd have been happy to pull his teeth out.

 

Edge:

Haha.

 

You didn't elaborate. You and Edge had never directly spoken about how everything had ended. You had never told him what Wing had attempted to do to you, or the fact that you had killed him. Did Edge even know he was dead? It was safe to assume, after all this time, but...

 

You:

I'm sorry, that was crass.

Despite everything, he was still your brother.

 

Edge:

I'm not blind to the kind of person Wing was.

But I appreciate you saying it all the same.

Dad actually let me go pretty quickly, after he knew how to get you back and had teamed up with Sugar. He was surprised when I didn't run away.

When I told him I had nowhere to go, I expected 'that's not my problem' or something. You know how macho guys are. 

But he didn't.

He made me legs, and new teeth.

He helped me learn how to walk again.

He taught me stuff, like old family recipes.

It was nice.

I never had a father before, just my brothers, and it was nice to be able to talk about you without it getting weird.

 

You:

Weird?

Edge:

With Wing, it was always about his plan, how you would fit into it.

And you know what Sans is like. I couldn't talk about you at all around him.

But with dad, it was normal. We talked about you a lot at first, until we got to know each other better.

You're a lot like him.

 

You:

So I'm told.

That why you stuck with him after? Because you had nowhere to go?

 

Edge:

That or prison.

We both said it was temporary.

Turns out we were wrong.

I know it must be weird for you, I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable.

 

You:

Won't lie, it's weird.

Are you happy?

 

Edge didn't reply right away. You thought maybe the locals were approaching the house, but in the end he responded.

 

Edge:

Yes.

I live a good life, I have my own friends. I don't even need to do anything illegal anymore.

Mostly.

 

You:

I'm not one to judge :)

I'm happy for you. You and I were friends, after all.

 

Edge:

Is it too weird for you that I consider myself your brother?

 

You thought about your answer carefully. There was more than your feelings at stake here.

 

You:

I'll get used to it.

 

You fell into silence again. Black shuffled in his sleep, Rus making the first move he had in hours and putting his arm around him. Red only looked up at the movement in his peripheral, soon going back to his sewing. A part of you wandered what he was making, but most of you didn't care.

 

Edge:

I'm sorry.

 

You:

For what?

 

Edge:

Not stopping Sans. I was so worried he was going to get himself killed, I didn't think about what else might go wrong.

I got so caught up in having my brother back, I forgot what was at stake here.

 

You:

There were two other adults there, they could have stopped him too.

I blame you all equally.

 

Edge:

That's reassuring :)

They're on our street. Radio silence until I call you.

 

You:

Stay safe.

 

* * *

 

You all stayed silent as the shadows as you heard people moving through the house above you. The hatch to the attic was closed, and you had managed to lock the basement door. Despite being on a murderous search for the monsters, the locals didn't seem to be all that interested in the whole searching thing, and the sound of footsteps stopped after five minutes. You all kept silent anyway, waiting for the all clear from Edge before you even thought about moving.

It was half an hour later when he finally did call, but in the silence and darkness it felt like much longer. After messaging back and forth for a bit, you all agreed that Black and Edge should swap places for a few hours so the big guy could get some rest. Black was shaky on his feet, but pulled himself together, looking at you seriously.

"Will you watch him?" he asked.

"Of course." you agreed.

You got up from the stairs to let him pass, but instead of sitting back down once he had gone, you walked over to Rus and lay down beside him, nudging him gently with your elbow.

"Hey." you greeted.

"hey." he responded weakly "how you doing?"

"Corybantic." you responded, staring at the ceiling "You?"

"amazing word use, a-plus." he chuckled, coughing slightly "i'm pretty lousy, but i'll be okay."

"What were you thinking, going in there?" you lectured softly "You could have been killed."

"if it meant m'lord would live, i'd happily walk to my death." he admitted, eyes fixed on the ceiling.

"Don't you dare let him hear you say that, he won't thank you for it." you sighed "Why do you call your brother that anyway?"

"because he deserves it."

You just sighed again, knowing you weren't going to get any more out of him. You felt him shift a little beside you before his boney hand sought out yours, but you didn't stop him from taking it.

"You're a strange man, Papyrus of the Swapfell clan." you told him.

"oh?"

"Red was right about one thing - you and I barely know each other, but you treat me like we're old friends. Your actual cousins you treat like strangers. It's odd."

You felt his fingers twitching around your hand. Was he actually thinking about what you said? You were prepared to let it lie and accept this odd relationship the way it is, but just for once, you actually got a straight answer out of the shifty skel.

"fellswap is... a very similar place to fell." he told you "very violent. life was very difficult. i did a lot of things i regret."

He squeezed your hand, looking for comfort, and you squeezed it back. You actually heard him sigh.

"when we were finally free... we faced the same choice as red and edge. do we keep living in the violence we're familiar with, or do we try and make a better life for ourselves? in the end, it was sans... black... who made the call. he wanted more. he wanted to be better. i wanted him to be proud of me... it wasn't always easy."

He shuffled again. This must be difficult for him.

"when i checked you before, i noticed your soul trait was love."

He actually chuckled when he felt you go stiff.

"you can relax, i'm not gonna pull a 'red' on you." he promised "i may be mentally ill, but i'm not crazy. even so, i'd never seen a 'love' soul before. cruelty, fury, apathy, sure, but love? i thought maybe if you could forgive axe and shugs for what they did, maybe you could forgive me too?"

He sighed, and you could hear his jawbone clicking in the dark.

"i wanted to know what it was like." he confessed "the kind of unconditional love that someone with your trait gives. i thought... maybe if i treated you like an old friend... you'd do the same for me...? i'm sorry, i know that's selfish..."

"So what you're saying is," you analysed "You're treating me like your friend... because you want me to be your friend."

A soft glow lit up the ceiling as he finally opened his eyes.

"that's..." he started unsurely "i..."

"'Cause I gotta say, that's pretty fucking devious." you deadpanned "Treating someone like your friend so they'll like you? Disgusting. Who does that?"

The glow turned to you as Rus scanned your face, not sure if you were joking or not.

"Next you're going to tell me you make for food for people because they're hungry. Where does the madness end, Rus?!"

His whole body jolted as a sudden laugh escaped him. Realising you were in fact joking, he started to laugh, wincing as his freshly healed ribs started to hurt.

"i might even ask you to hang out," he played along "and have fun. can you imagine?"

"Despicable!" you agreed, still deadpan "Atrocious! You should be ashamed!"  

"you like movies?" Rus asked, still chuckling.

"Every Tuesday night is movie night." you confirmed, giving him a smile "And every Thursday is karaoke at the bar."

He smiled back, looking like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders.

"sounds like fun." he said "count me in."

* * *

 

Rus was asleep, and Edge had entered that meditative state of his, sat on the basement steps, where a single gust of wind could wake him up. You moved silently to the corner of the room Red was squatting in. Whatever he was making was frilly, so you doubted it was for him. He noticed your approach, looking at you seriously. You stared at him for a moment, considering your words.

"I'm probably going to regret this." you sighed, noticing his brow arch "But I have a plan, and I'm going to need your help."

Red looked down at his sewing, as if contemplating his choices, before he quickly rolled it up and shoved it in the satchel he made in the van.

"i'm in yer command, darlin'." he said with a devilish smirk "what's the plan?"

You already regretted this. Regardless, you took a deep breath and told him what you needed him to do.

 


	19. A Bad Time for All Parties

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gotta say, there's nothing like having payday while you're on holiday. I was so fucking PRODUCTIVE today! I did SO MANY errands!
> 
> Man, being an adult really is boring :P Gotta get your victories where you can.

It was incredibly easy. Disgustingly easy. You were actually revolted. Had you been a person with ill intent, today would be nothing short of a nightmare for this family.

You let them believe that's exactly what was going to happen.

Your mother, her husband, and their children were all bound and gagged to the kitchen chairs. The children - a boy and a girl, in that order, the oldest not even 15 - were crying. The husband looked as pissed as he was terrified, but with a grinning Red hanging over your shoulder, he wasn't going to make a move. Your mother was sickened, pale, crying not in fear for her children but the defilement of her house by a monster.

You were dressed like a mercenary serial killer, thanks to a few clothing alterations by your resident tailor. Red was grinning like a fool, showing off every single one of his sharp teeth. He hadn't been let of the leash for a long time, and the fact it was you asking him to whip up some chaos... the last ten years of gyftmas had come at once for the felonious skeleton. He was still wearing his magic-restraining shackles - you weren't stupid, after all - but your captives didn't need to know that. Even without his magic, he had brute strength that no human could match, and you knew from personal experience that he could get in and out of peoples homes without being noticed. 

You hadn't spoken a word to any of them yet. You made a cup of tea, pottering around the kitchen in front of them, before pulling up another of the dining tables chairs, and spinning it around to face the line of terrified humans. Normally, you'd want at least a cigarette and a cup of coffee in a scenario like this to really set the scene, but since the jury was still out on what effects nicotine and caffeine had on a soulling, you decided not to risk it. You sipped on your tea, making prolonged eye contact with every single person there, so they knew who was in charge of the situation. Red stood right over your shoulder, grinning death down on them.

"Mother, I'm disappointed." you started calmly "After the way you behaved when you were staying in my home, I thought that would be the end of our relationship. I was happy to let it end there, but this? This is too much."

You handed your tea to Red, who placed it on the table, and you folded your hands on your lap.

"Mother, where are Sans and Papyrus?"

You didn't expect an answer - she has duct tape over her mouth, after all. She just shook her head, trying to scream through her gag. You hummed shortly in answer, leisurely getting to your feet. You walked over to her, one hand in your pocket, and grabbed the corner of her gag. The terror of realisation crossed her face for no more than a second before you ripped the duct tape off her face. You allowed her the appropriate scream of pain, but when she started screaming for help you backhanded her so hard that her chair clattered to the ground, a spray of red dripping onto the floor and wall. Your step-father looked like he wanted to jump up and defend her, so you whipped the hunting knife from your belt and held it to his throat.

"Be a good boy and be quiet." you warned him.

Grabbing your mother by the hair, you hauled her back up so all the chairs feet were on the floor.

"Let's not do that again, okay?" you suggested, still with a fistful of her hair "I'm going to ask you again: where are Sans and Papyrus?"

"T-T-They t-told me you were d-dead!" she sobbed "They told me those monsters ate you!"

"'They'?" you pondered, letting her go and stepping back for a moment "You mean that junkie McReady and his flunkies? That guy spent fifteen years high off his face - he only got sober when the drug literally couldn't be made anymore - why the hell would you believe anything he had to say?"

"D-don't say that!" she argued "Pastor McReady is a wonderful man!"

You openly laughed at her.

"Sure." you grinned "That's why he told you your oldest child was dead, and kidnapped a couple of innocent people with plans to burn them alive."

"Innocent?!" she practically screeched "How can you say that?! After everything they did to you?! They ate human flesh!"

"So have I." you admitted casually "Once. Not on purpose, mind. One of dad's friends was just... a little _crazier_ than we thought."  

Every human face was suitably disgusted at this revelation. Your mother looked around wildly before finding something to say.

"H-how are you feeling?" she dared ask, leaning forward as much as she could "Is your head any clearer now? N-Now those monsters are gone, their magic isn't effecting you, right?"

You heaved a disappointed sigh, rubbing the bridge of your nose, and you heard Red chuckle behind you.

"I told you before." you all but growled "There's no such thing as 'mind controlling magic.' That's just an excuse McReady came up with to justify the shit he did when he was high on echo."

"That isn't true!" she immediately disagreed "It's _that_ monster, isn't it?! He's the one using his magic on you now!"

All you could do was sigh again, waving your hand at Red.

"We're done talking now." you told him.

You'd never seen such a manic smirk on his face as he took the duct tape from the table and pulled out a fresh length.

"hey, my name is sans, but everybody calls me red." he introduced as he taped her mouth back up.

She screamed and struggled away, her disgust of monsters stronger than her survival instinct. He said something else, under his breath, but you weren't paying attention. He could be reciting the opening song from the teletubbies, and your mother would be equally as terrified... actually, that _was_ a pretty scary image. You picked up an apple from the bowl of fruit, intending on low key showing off your proficiency with the knife by peeling it, only to find it was made of wax. You associated wax fruit with cheap old hotels and restaurant displays. Why the hell would somebody have it in their home? In their kitchen especially?

Whatever, you could work with it. You threw it up in the air, simply holding your knife in the path of its fall. The blade was so sharp that the thing was cleaved right in half by gravity alone, the sides falling away. You turned to the two children, who regarded you in equal parts curiosity and terror, and pointed your knife at one of them.

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo," you started, moving the knife between the two.

The children immediately started to panic, crying and struggling. Their father tried even harder to wriggle free of the ropes holding him, but your mothers eyes were still glued to the looming Red.

The final 'mo' landed on the older child, your brother, which had been your intention all along. Mercifully, you put the knife in your belt before you grabbed the back of his chair and spun it around, pulling him from the room.

"Let's you and me go have a talk." you said casually.

The muffled screaming got louder from all parties. You reminded yourself that it was all part of the act. Everything was calculated. Just stick to the script.

You closed the kitchen door calmly, leaving the humans alone with Red, and dragged the boy into the bathroom, closing that door as well. You positioned him facing the toilet, which you used as a seat.

"Hey, kiddo." you greeted "You know who I am?"

The child was nearly pissing himself, he was so scared. You almost wanted to reassure him that none of this is real, that he wasn't in any danger, but you couldn't do that yet. He was brave, though - he stared right into your eyes as he shakily nodded.

"Great, that saves a lot of time." you assured him "So here's the deal. I'm going to ask you some questions, and you're going to tell me the truth. If you lie to me, I'm going to cut off one of your fingers. If you scream, I'm going to cut off your ear. Sound good?"

He nodded again, squeezing desperate tears from his eyes. You hadn't used duct tape on the children, just plain old masking tape, so it was much easier to remove. The boy seemed surprised at the lack of pain.

"Alright." you began, sitting back down "Question one-"

"Why?" the boy asked.

You were about to scold him for interrupting, but one look at his face melted you - he was so scared and confused, he was actually crying. Stars, you never wanted to be the cause for a face like that, especially on a child.

"Why what, sweetheart?" you asked.

"Why are you doing this? What did we ever do to you? Aren't we family?"

He flinched harshly as you reach your hand up, but looked at you in bewilderment when all you did was pat his head gently.

"You've been lied to your whole life." you told him calmly "Monsters aren't bad, they're just another kind of people. They aren't evil, and they certainly don't have mind control. Your mother and I... _our_ mother and I couldn't see eye to eye on this. When she sent those guys to kidnap me and bring me here, instead they took my very good friends. I'm just here to rescue them."

"Those monsters are your friends?" he repeated, as if unable to believe it "H-How do you know they're not using mind control?"

"Because it doesn't exist." you insisted "Monsters are very honest about what their magic can and can't do."

"But how can you be sure?! Are you going to believe the monsters just because they said so?!"

You thought a moment. The boy had been fed this line his whole life, it wasn't a surprise that he believed it.

"You have asthma, right?" you asked him.

"How did-?" he started, shocked. 

"You have a few inhalers in your room." you explained "Now let me ask you this: does asthma really exist?"

"Huh? Of course it does!"

"But how can you be sure?" you echoed "Are you going to believe the doctors just because they said so?"

"N-no..." he admitted, doubt creeping into his voice "I have asthma attacks, and... I wheeze, and when I take my inhaler it gets better. That's how I know."

"Well, that's how I know that I'm not under mind control." you confirmed "I have my own thoughts and feelings, I disagree even with my close friends, and we even fight sometimes. That's how I know."

The boy looked at you thoughtfully. You were lucky, the intelligence hadn't been educated out of him yet.

"Is it true that monsters eat human flesh?" he asked you.

"Not at all." you confirmed "But there was a famine in one of the undergrounds - they literally had nothing to eat. They started eating old boots, trees, parts of their houses, anything they could get their hands on. So yes, when some humans fell and died, they did get eaten. Any monsters who died got eaten too."

"Sounds like they were desperate..." the boy pondered.

"You can't even imagine." you said "They're still haunted by the things they had to do to survive. A lot of them can't even look at meat now, let alone eat it. They certainly don't crave human flesh."

There was that thoughtful look again. The boy had a good heart, you could just see it. Time to drive the point home.

"They're all just trying to rebuild their lives." you told him, putting your hand on his shoulder "And my two friends? They have a baby waiting for them at home."

"A baby?!" he cried.

"Yeah, a very young one, too young not to have their daddy around. I just want to get my friends home, y'know?"

The boy looked back towards the kitchen, and you just knew he was thinking about his own father.

"Sweetheart," you called, bringing his attention back to you "Do you know where they are?"

"I-I don't." he sobbed, and you knew he was telling the truth "I'm sorry..."

"That's okay." you assured, giving him a kiss on the forehead "I believe you. Now, I'm going to put the gag back on, and I want you to stay quiet, okay?"

He nodded, and you did what you warned. You adjusted your expression as you re-entered the kitchen, only to find Red had spread a bunch of baby pictures on the kitchen table.

"babe look, it's you!" he enthused.

"Not now." you growled.

You went to the small bag you had bought with you, pulling out a handgun and a silencer.

"Now, I'm going to ask you one more time." you said to your mother "And if you refuse to answer, I'm going to shoot your son."

There were those panicked muffled screams again, breaking you completely from the calm you had built up in the bathroom. You waited until it was over, standing in front of your mother.

"Where are Sans and Papyrus?" you asked again.

She just shook her head, eyes steely and determined. You sighed though your nose, disappointed in her answer, and nodded your head. Without a word, you turned around and headed back to the bathroom. The muffled screams grew frantic. When he saw the gun, the boys eyes grew large, but you just smiled and held your finger to your lips. You shot the toilet paper, which softened the sound of the bullet hitting the tile behind it. The muffled screams became distraught. The boy flinched, but stayed silent.

You went back to the kitchen. Red was still pouring over photo's. What the hell was he even doing? As silently as before, you took the back of the girls chair and dragged her to the bathroom. She was surprised to see her brother alive and well, but was similarly silent on your instruction. You went back to the kitchen to see their father struggling like a wild animal against the ropes. He fully believed you'd shot his son, and that his daughter is next. You felt bad for him.

You got your knife back out, holding it to his neck to calm him down, and peeled the tape from his mouth.

"P-Please, don't kill her!" he begged "Please, please, I'll do anything-!"

"Tell me what I want to know." you replied calmly "Where are Sans and Papyrus?"

"I don't know who that is!" he cried.

"The monsters!" you yelled back, getting right in his face "The ones your junkie preacher is going to burn - where are they being kept?"

"The... I..."

He thought fast, eyes darting around.

"The masonic hall!" he decided "It has to be! The church owns it, and it's the only building in town with a basement!"

You held the knife closer to his throat, making him flinch and still.

"Why is the masonic hall the only building in town with a basement?" you asked, suspicious of his claim.

"The water table here is too high." he informed you, trying desperately not to swallow "B-But the hall was built before everything else. The basement floods every winter, but it's dry this time of year!"

"And you know that because?"

"I'm a contractor!" he swore "I'm a contractor, I'm always pumping the water out of that damn basement every winter! Please, please don't shoot my-"

"You're loud." you warned him "I don't like loud people. Understand?"

He shut up. He was glaring daggers at you, but he was smart enough to do as you said. You finally turned back to your mother, whose eyes hadn't left Red.

"I'm going to give you one last chance to redeem yourself." you told her "And tell me if there's anywhere else you think they'd have taken the monsters."

You peeled the tape off, a little less harshly this time.

"You have to get away from that monster!" she shrieked, clearly referring to Red "He-!"

You just sighed and put the tape back on her mouth.

"You really do disappoint me, mother." you told her "Red."

He jumped up, looking positively excited, and stuffed a bunch of the photos in his pocket. You'd get them from him later, but right now you needed to make it look like you were in command.

"My buddy and I are going to take a trip up the masonic hall." you told your captives "If you're telling the truth, we'll come back and let you out. If you're lying, we'll come back and shoot you. Understood?"

Your step-father nodded seriously, while your mother continued to thrash and scream. With a nod of your head, Red dragged  them into the bathroom, where they wouldn't be seen by a casual passerby. They both burst out crying upon seeing their children unharmed, but you didn't have time to appreciate the scene, as you closed the door and left the house in no more time than it took Red to cover his face.

* * *

The masonic hall was easy enough to find - it was a small town, and there was only one building with armed guards outside it. You and Red walked a wide circle around it, looking for an unguarded window or door, but the makeshift militia had the place well covered. Red recognised a few from years past - apparently McReady's whole gang had settled in the town.

"What did McReady and his gang even do for you?" you asked him quietly, observing the building from behind a tree line.

"obtain samples, mostly." he explained casually.

"... Why do I get the feeling that's a euphemism for 'kidnapping'?"

"no kidnappin'." he assured "fuck, kidnappin' would've been an improvement. nah, they'd find some dumbass down on their luck, get them hooked on echo, then bring them to wing under the guise of tryin' somthin' new. hell, they even gave up a couple of their guys when they couldn't find a patsy. they got paid in echo, some of which they sold, but more than half they did themselves."

"A bunch of classy fuckers, then." you surmised "I wonder what the scam is here."

"ya don't think ol' mcready actually found religion?" he asked with a knowing smirk.

You went silent as the guard changed. They chatted for a while before one of them pulled out a pack of cigarettes, and the whole lot wandered off for a smoke break.

"fuckin' amateurs."

You sprinted for the building, to the one place you'd spotted a window to the basement, and almost slid to a halt with the speed that you hit the gravel. Inside the basement was dark, but not so dark that you couldn't make out exactly the thing you were looking for.

Papyrus! Your dear sweet Sugar, thank the stars and every god you didn't believe in, there he was! He looked haggard, his clothes were dirty, and the low ceiling of the basement forced him to sit hunched over, hands stiffly on his knees. Around his throat was a magic suppressing collar, but to call it 'crude' was an insult to crafters everywhere. It looked like whoever built it had the general idea of how it should work, but didn't know or care how to put it together. Regardless of its looks, it worked.

But if Papyrus was here, where was... there, in the far corner! His eye light was extinguished, making him even harder to see, but... your breath caught. He didn't have a collar around his neck. No, his restraint was as effective as it was barbaric - a leather belt tied around his skull, constricting on the hole. You couldn't imagine the pain he must be in... even when you got that belt off, he wouldn't be right for some time. 

The worry you'd been carrying around like lead weights on your shoulders finally disappeared, replaced by a boiling rage the likes of which you'd never known before.

_You'd kill every last one of them._

"Hey, what are you doing there?" a male voice called.

Fuck.

You schooled the expression on your face, getting up as casually as possible, and turned to face him. Some middle aged guy, cigarette still hanging from his lips, and he held the gun like he didn't know which was the dangerous end. He wasn't even looking at your face, and you saw your advantage.

"I just wanted to take a closer look at the monsters." you told him, affecting the local dialect "Before we burn them and all. I've never seen one up close before. Are they really ten foot tall?"

The mans eyes travelled you up and down, only scanning over your face long enough to register it existed, before settling on your chest and staying there. You suppressed the urge to punch him.

"You want to take a closer look at the freaks?" he asked your breasts, clearly surprised "Aren't you a brave one."

"Well, you know what they say." you giggled "Curiosity killed the cat and all."

The man sucked on his teeth, still checking you out. You suppressed the urge to stab him in the eyes.

"You want a real close look?" he asked "A front seat ticket?"

"You can do that?" you asked, feigning coyness.

"Honey, I can get you as close as you like." he promised you "Fuck, I'll even let you touch them."

"What's the catch?" you giggled.

The man hummed. His eyes hadn't left your chest the entire time. You suppressed the urge to shoot him in the head.

"Maybe you touch a little something else while you're at it." he hinted.

You'd rather set yourself on fire.

"I think that could be arranged." you flirted.

The man chuckled, shit eating grin on his slime ball face.

"Meet me here at 10.30." he told you "I'll be the only one on guard then. Wear something... 'comfortable'."

He may as well fucking gift wrap them for you. You agreed to meet him back here before putting your hands in your pockets and sauntering away.

Your mind was already full of ideas. After a few streets, Red sidled up to you, and you returned to the base.

* * *

You really fucking hated Red. Yes, 'sexy' was what you were going for, but he didn't have to approach the brief with such... gusto. The top he made was sheer (you didn't even ask where he got he material), and wasn't even long enough to cover the essentials. You were incredibly uncomfortable, and the shorts that were barely larger than your underwear didn't exactly help. Thank goodness for the jacket, or you'd have nowhere to put your weapons. How did he put it together so quickly? You told yourself it was because he's a pro, and left it there.

You got to the masonic hall right on time, and the man was waiting for you out front, smoking another cigarette. Just as he promised, no-one else was around, and he gave an appreciative whistle when he saw you.

"You really didn't disappoint, honey." he said, practically drooling.

You were counting the seconds until you could beat his head in.

"I held up my side of the bargain." you said arousingly, climbing the steps towards him "Now it's your turn."

"Oh, I am a man of my word." he swore, licking his lips "Follow me."

You did so, and he led you into the building. Parquet floors, dark wood panelling, fabric covered chairs... typical hall, nothing unusual at all. Opening a door hidden in the panelling, he beckoned you down. The lights down the stairway were off. Were you a person of lesser intellect, this situation would have struck you as suspicious. The man had his rifle slung over his shoulder, the back facing you. He didn't even feel it when your deft fingers unhooked the ammo cartridge and slid it from the weapon, hiding it in your waistband.

When you reached the bottom of the stairs, there were two other men there, not including the skeletons. Papyrus' face went slack with shock when he saw you, but you gave him a subtle shake of the head, which he seemed to understand.

"Well, well, well," one of other men said, shamelessly checking you out "You're everything we were promised."

"Loving the outfit, honey." the other agreed.

They had clearly expected you to freak out, run away, scream, anything. When you did none of this, simply taking a picture of the room and sending it to someone, they were clearly put off.

"Uh, sweetheart?" the first man said.

"Do me a favour, take two steps to the left." you told him.

The men looked at each other, bewildered, but the man moved when you shooed him with your hand. He opened his mouth to speak again, but by then it was too late - Edge and Black appeared from between the layers, grabbing the other two men.

"Shit-!"

You let the first man reach for his gun. When he saw the clip is gone, you could almost see his soul leave his body. His eyes were pinpricks when he looked at you.

"You had some pretty nasty plans for me tonight, didn't you?" you asked him "Too bad for you I had my own."

His face turned feral.

"You _bitch_ -!" he growled, but you didn't let him finish, shooting him in the head.

Papyrus shrieked in shock, the sound louder than your silenced gun. Sans red eye light flickered, but ultimately remained off. Edge didn't waste any time snapping the neck of the guy he was holding, but Black couldn't seem to bring himself to do it. Edge broke the last mans neck before he could start screaming for his life.

Papyrus was shaking so hard, you could hear him rattling. Up close, he looked even worse. He shakily called your name, as if he couldn't believe it was really you. As you passed Edge, he shrugged off his coat and gave it to you. It reached your knees, but you didn't complain. You wanted to throw your arms around your shaking mate, but you could see how scared he was, the trauma on his face. Instead, you pulled on the chain keeping him bound to the wall to bring him down to your level, and jammed your knife in the collar mechanism, breaking it.

Despite knowing better, you couldn't help yourself - you grabbed his face and kissed him on the teeth. You were so happy to see him, your heart was pounding in your ears. He touched your arm unsurely, as if still not believing his senses, before wrapping his long arms around you, holding you so tight he might just break your spine. Eventually, you reluctantly pushed him away.

"We have a lot to talk about, but he have work to do right now." you told him.

Edge and Black were already hovering around Sans, considering the best thing to do to help him. Should they just take the belt off? What would that do? What if they made the hole in his head worse?

"Edge, heal him." you ordered.

"But I-" he started to argue.

"You heal him as I take off the belt." you elaborated "If there's any damage-"

"It gets fixed right away." he realised "I'm with you."

You needed to climb up on Sans' lap in order to reach his head, but he didn't even react. Only once you could see the soft green glow of healing magic did you even attempt to move the belt - you couldn't unbuckle it without tightening it first, so instead you took your knife, slipping it as carefully as humanly possible into the hole in his head, and sawed at the leather until it broke away. Sans let out a shuddery breath, but his eye light didn't come back. Papyrus almost pushed Black out of the way in his haste to get to his brother, checking him over and adding his own healing magic to Edges.

"Sans?" he called softly "Sans, can you hear me?"

"Get them out of there." you ordered Edge "I'll meet you back at base. Be ready to move."

"Copy that."

With more care than you'd ever seen him do anything, Edge took Sans in his arms and lifted him, cradling him close to his chest like a baby. Papyrus immediately sprung to his feet beside him.

"But what about-!" he protested.

"Don't worry about me." you told him, harsher than you probably should have while in mission mode "Go with Edge and Black. I'll see you soon."

He looked incredibly reluctant to leave you, but didn't shake off Black when he took his hand and pulled him through the layers with Edge, leaving you alone in the basement. There was no way to make this look like a robbery gone wrong, so you did the only sensible thing and booked it out of there, closing and locking the front door behind you. 

You dropped by your mothers house on your way back to base. Everyone was still in the bathroom where you left them, bound to their chairs, but their positions had moved, as if they'd tried to shimmy to the door. They looked both happy and terrified to see you, especially considering what you were wearing.

"Y'know, I think I've finally figured out why you keep wax fruit in the house." you said by way of greeting "It's because you care more about the way things look than how they actually are. You'd rather it looked like you had a delicious bowl of perfect fruit on the table, rather than buy some real fruit and risk it not being perfect and going off when your kids don't eat it. That's actually really sad."

You took your knife and cut through the ropes holding the boy. Before he moved too much, you put your hand on his shoulder.

"Be a good boy." you told him seriously "And wait twenty minutes before untying your... our sister, and another twenty before untying your mum and dad, okay?"

"Why should I do that?" he asked nervously.

"Because I'm an excellent shot, and I can hit a gnat between the eyes from across town. You get me?"

The boy swallowed, but nodded all the same. Satisfied, you turned to leave, but he grabbed your arm.

"You're leaving?" he asked "Forever?"

"That was the plan." you confirmed "Sad to see me go?"

"I wanted to tell you, I..." he started, breathing deeply before finding his courage and blurting out "I hate you! Everything that's bad is because of you! Nothing I ever do is good enough, because you were all mum ever wanted! You were always the excellent student, the great athlete, the perfect child, and you weren't even there! It's not fair! It's-"

He stopped talking, courageously fighting the tears as you patted him on the head.

"It's precisely because I wasn't here that I was all those things." you told him, not angry at all "The version of me she wanted was the wax fruit. I'm the one that rots."

He looked like he only half understood, but let go of your arm all the same. You patted him one last time before you left for good.      


	20. A Ring of Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second my housemate got home and turned on her computer, the internet FUCKED UP and I lost everything I'd been working on for the last FOUR HOURS. I was two sentences away from being FINISHED. When you see how long this chapter is, you'll see why this was so painful T_T
> 
> If you can hear loud crying, it's me.
> 
> On a separate note, I'm back at work tomorrow, so this will be the last of the rapid-fire updates. Normal service will resume after this.

As predicted, the car was ridiculously crowded. The border was too far away for any of their magic to take you across it. Papyrus was scrunched up in the open boot, knees all the way up to his chest, looking around in honest terror. Red was sat on one side of the back seat, Sans on the other, with Black in the middle. Edge was driving, his keen night vision allowing you to keep the tell-tale car lights off, while a still fragile Rus sat in the front passenger seat. Sitting in his lap wasn't exactly ideal, but it was the best option for now. 

Sans was still unresponsive, no matter who called or touched him, only adding to the fraught atmosphere. Black was clearly aggravated, crossing his arms and huffing, both feet twitching, until he finally threw his hands up and turned to Papyrus.

"Sugar, I need to ask you a few questions!" he demanded.

"is this really the time?" Red argued before you had the chance.

"I have to do something or I'm going to go NUTS!" Black shrieked.

"It's alright." Papyrus said, although he was clearly confused "Go ahead, ask me anything."

"Alright!" Black declared, fishing a notepad from his jacket pocket "What happened the day you were kidnapped? Why didn't you escape, or fight back?"

"They got Sans first." he recalled weakly, the memory still painful "His reactions... aren't what they used to be. I wasn't even home yet. They had that belt around his head, and he... they would've killed him."

Black nodded understandingly, making notes.

"Did they say why they took you?" he asked.

"They didn't even come for us." Papyrus revealed, the implication that they were there for _you_ clear in the air "But we were more valuable. 'Actual flesh eating monsters...'"

"that lunatic mcready spent enough time in the northland to hear about ya guys." Red confirmed, looking bored with his head in his hand "but there ain't too many of ya left, ya would have been hard to find."

"Perfect for that sick fucks intentions." you finished.

"Can we please pull over?" Papyrus asked "I need some fresh air..."

"We need to put as much distance as possible between us and the town before they notice you're missing." Edge explained.

"How close do we have to be to the border before you guys can get back using your magic?" you asked.

"A lot closer than we are now." he grumbled.

"ya know ya can't use the layers." Red reminded you "ya happy to be left behind?"

"Our mission is to get Sans and Papyrus back to the Northland." you reasoned "My chances of getting back to the border alone are much greater than with six monsters. You guys need to use the first opportunity you have to get to safety."

"I understand Rus is injured, but why doesn't Red-" Papyrus started, but Red just held up his free hand, showing off his silver manacle.

Papyrus looked disturbed, but he understood. He leaned over the back of his brother, extending one of his long arms, and sought you out, brushing your hair with his fingers. You took his hand and pressed it to your cheek, giving it a kiss. The rattling coming from the back told you he wasn't okay. Looking back, you saw he had his other arm around a still unresponsive Sans, head buried on his shoulder. You also saw Red gritting his teeth. Black let the questions drop for now, already starting to write up his report.

* * *

Without the need to use Red for navigation, there was nothing preventing you driving non-stop back north, pulling over only long enough to switch drivers or top up on fuel. Before you knew it, you reached the town where you had spent your first night, but by then you were all exhausted. Edge couldn't see straight anymore, rubbing his tired sockets, and you were struggling to stay awake. Black couldn't reach the pedals, so he was out, and Papyrus had the opposite problem. You had no choice but to go back to the dingy hotel you had stayed in before. The manager looked more than a little surprised to see you (you guessed he didn't have many repeat customers), but gave you a room all the same, actually thanking you for how nice and clean you had left the last one.

Only once Papyrus had layered himself into the room could he stretch out, and even then not to his full extent, either hitting the opposite wall with his feet or the ceiling with his hands.

"Guys, I know we're all tired." you said to the skeletons "But I need to talk to Pap... to Sugar, for a minute. You mind?"

The guys eyed each other unsurely a moment, before Rus gingerly took the sheets off the bed.

"i'll get these washed." he excused.

"Me too!" Black agreed, pulling his face mask back on and opening the door for him.

"We'll get some food." Edge added, steering Red out by his shoulder "One more drive won't kill me. Do you want us to take Axe?"

"He can stay." you said gratefully "Thanks, though."

With a nod, Edge took the key and closed the door behind him. The second the door clicked closed, something left you. You weren't sure if it was stress, worry, or the weight of carrying this rescue mission, but you suddenly felt very weak. Papyrus seemed to pick up on this, as he took you by the shoulders and pulled you into a tight hug. Stars, it felt so good to feel his bones again. You hugged him back, feeling him still shake and wheeze lightly, but not as bad as before.

"I was so scared." he admitted quietly.

"God, so was I!" you told him "I was so scared we wouldn't find you in time!"

"I thought I was going to die." he sobbed.

You wanted to tell him how you would burn the whole world down if that had happened, but that wasn't what he wanted to hear.

"You're alright now." you said "We just have to get back across the border. As soon as we're close enough, you need to take Sans across, and I'll follow."

"I don't know what's wrong with him."

"He'll be okay, he's survived worse."

Papyrus finally pulled away from you, bright orange tears rolling down his face. He looked at you like he was looking at the sun for the first time, awestruck and overwhelmed.

"I've never been happier that you're a gun-toting survivalist." he said, making you laugh "I'm sorry I gave you a hard time for setting up the shooting range behind the barn."

"Trust me, it's a skill I never wanted to use for real." you promised him "And as soon as we're home, the only bullet's I'm going to be handling are those tiny blenders."

"Is Jack mad at me?" he asked with a wince.

"For getting _kidnapped_?!" you clarified "No, he's not mad at you! He's worried! Hell, he nearly came on this rescue mission with us, but he wasn't human-looking enough. If anyone's going to be mad, it's Grillby... I didn't exactly tell him I was coming..."

Papyrus chuckled at that.

"I'm sure he'll forgive you." he thought.

"Well, even if he doesn't fire me, I won't be able to go to work for a while anyway."

"Oh? Why's that?"

He instantly looked worried, and butterflies started going apeshit in your stomach. Of course, it had occurred to you that it might be better to wait until you were back across the border before telling him, but he looked so haggard and traumatised... he needed some good news. There was no way you could prepare him for what you had to say, so you just dived in at the deep end.

"I'm pregnant."

All expression disappeared from his face. He was silent for a long time, and you thought you had broken him, until his head tilted ever so slightly to look at where your soul should be.

"Wha... um... pardon?" he said quietly.

"I'm pregnant." you repeated.

"With a baby?"

"No, Papyrus, with a potato."

"We're going to be parents?" 

"Well..." you admitted self-consciously "I'm not entirely sure if the father is you or Sans-"

"WHO CARES?!" he suddenly screamed, making you jump as he leapt up and threw his arms around you, straight lifting you up and spinning you around "OH MY GOD!?!?! OH MY GOD?!?!?!?!"

The person in the room upstairs thumped on the floor, telling him to shut up because they were trying to sleep.

"SLEEP LATER, MYSTERIOUS UPSTAIRS PERSON!" was his response, making you laugh again "I'M GOING TO BE A FATHER, AND I'M GOING TO SHOUT ABOUT IT UNTIL THE _ENTIRE WORLD_ KNOWS!!!"   

"CONGRATULATIONS, BUT SHUT UP!" came the reply.

You were still laughing as Papyrus put you down, and you had to grab him and force him to sit down on the bed, or he was liable to start running through the streets shouting to everyone in earshot about his happy news. Once you were back in the Northland, you wouldn't stop him from doing just that, but right now he needed to calm down.

"I'm gonna be a dad!" he enthused "I'm gonna be a dad!!"

"You are," you chuckled "But take it easy! Once we're home, we can party as much as we like, but right now we need to be careful."

"Oh, our partying days are over!" he declared "From now on it's nothing but rules, fiscal responsibility, and being a good example to the next generation! NNNNNGGGGHHHH, I CAN'T WAIT!!!"

"OH MY GOD, SHUT UP!" the voice from upstairs yelled again.

Papyrus was grinning like fool as you shushed him. You wanted to kiss the smile off his ridiculous face, but you couldn't stop yours from matching. Finally calming down, he looked at you with sparkling eyes, clutching your hands.

"Can I see?" he asked, barely above a whisper.

You were only confused for a second. Of course, it was in your soul, not your body. You made sure the curtains were drawn tight before you agreed. With the utmost care, Papyrus held his hand to your chest, as if ready to catch your soul when it fell from your body. With a dazzling display of pink and yellow light, your soul materialised in his palm - no stuttering into blackness, no confrontation, just there. The yellow soul was much larger than the last time you saw it - you were amazed by how much it had grown, the soft yellow it was before now bright and vibrant.

Papyrus drew a shuddering breath, tears rolling silently down his cheeks.

"Look how strong it is..." he marveled "Our baby..."

He cradled your soul in both hands, just staring at it. If you didn't know any better, you'd swear the pink just grew brighter. Papyrus breathed out a laugh, almost impossibly quiet, and brought your soul up to his mouth, kissing it so softly you almost didn't feel it at all.

"I love you." he said.

You didn't imagine it this time - the pink definitely did get brighter. He put your soul back where it belonged, keeping his hands on your shoulders for a moment as he collected himself, finally taking a deep breath.

"I, uh... need to wash my face." he told you "Won't be long."

"Take your time." you assured, patting his hand "Take a shower."

He nodded gratefully, crouch-walking under the low ceiling to the bathroom.

Alone in the room now, you looked at Sans, who hadn't had any kind of reaction yet. You could just about make out the red disk of his eye, but it was so incredibly dim that you couldn't be sure you weren't imagining it. You walked over to the chair he was sat in, cupped his cheek with your hand, and gave him a kiss on the teeth.

"Come back soon." you told him "We've got a lot to do, and not a lot of time."

* * *

When you woke up, you were FUCKING RAVENOUS. You had eaten more than usual when Edge had bought dinner back for everyone, but your body was telling you that you hadn't eaten in years. Sneaking off the bed, where Edge had once again been practically spooning you, you tip-toed around Papyrus, who was sleeping on the floor, and crossed the room to beside Black and Rus' bed, where the leftovers were sat on the rickety table. Before you could even blink, they were gone, and you were still famished.

Reasoning this might have something to do with your current state of being, you fished the magic supplements from Rus' coat pocket, but the usual one or two did nothing to assuage the hunger, and you ended up eating them all like sweeties. Fuck, you needed food! This couldn't wait! You quickly pulled on your clothes and shoes, tucking your weapons into your waistband and covering them with your coat, before heading for the door.

"lemme guess." a low voice called in the dark behind you, making you jump "hungry?"

"Extremely." you confirmed, turning to face Red as he groggily got up, rubbing his sockets "I'm going to find a supermarket."

"it's three in the mornin'." he pointed out.

"What, you think I'm gonna get mugged?" you joked.

Red just groaned, getting off the bed, and pulled on his shoes, grabbing his jacket from the chair you had thrown them all on. Judging by the look on his face, he was still half asleep.

"baby's gettin' ready to be born." he told you "stockin' up on energy to make the jump to a physical form."

"How long do I have?" you asked seriously, considering the day or so it would take you to get back across the border.

"just under a week."

"So... chicken? Beef?"

Red just chuckled, opening the door for you and gesturing you through.

Taking the car, you found a twenty-four hour supermarket on the outskirts of town. Red  was driving, and the two of you made casual small talk. Despite there being very few cars in the parking lot, Red parked towards the back anyway, pulling on his face mask and hood as you walked up to the building.

There was something about a supermarket this time of night that made it seem almost ethereal, like a forbidden, intimate place, so quiet and still, like a painting occasionally interrupted by the necessities of everyday life. After about five minutes in the shop, a security guard told you off for eating things as you walked around, a thing you hadn't even realised you had been doing. You apologised, blaming it on pregnancy brain, and his demeanour had immediately changed - his wife had just had a baby too, and had taken to eating the chalk at her teaching job. He let the matter go as long as you promised to keep the packaging and pay for it, which you agreed to.  

You heard a chuckle, and looked up at Red, expecting him to tease you. Instead, he pointed to a speaker above your head.

"this song reminds me of someone." he told you.

You listened for a moment. It was [The Truth About Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMwm2xwoQjg)... kind of racy for a supermarket, you thought, but you supposed there were no managers around this time of night to stop the staff listening to what they wanted.

"Is that someone me by any chance?" you asked.

"yup." he confirmed with a chuckle "'specially that second verse."

In your current state of being, you were happy to throw anything and everything that was edible into the trolley and call it good, but Red was a bit more sensible, putting stuff back on the shelves.

"that needs to be cooked." he reasoned "yer going to be sick if you eat that. can ya really eat 24 of these?"

You only objected when he tried to put the massive bar of chocolate back. You didn't even say anything, just grabbing his arm as he reached for it and giving him a look. He sheepishly let it go, putting his hand back in his pocket. As you reached the front of the aisle, you got a good look at the front window of the supermarket, which looked out over the car park, and what you saw gave you pause. There were at least a dozen large vehicles parked right up against the front of the shop. They hadn't been there when you arrived, or even the last time you looked. There was a gathering of staff at the tills, casting looks at the front window and whispering. They didn't know what was going on either, but it wasn't normal.

You took a closer look at the cars, and your stomach dropped - you recognised three of them as the ones that had been chasing you before.

"Shit."

The security guard reappeared, serious and apprehensive look on his face.

"We're, uh... we're moving everyone to the back of the shop." he told you "This might be nothing, but..."

"That guys got a gun!" one of the staff shrieked.

"Everyone, back of the shop, right now!" the guard ordered "Leave your shit and go!"

They wasted no time fleeing, you and Red following behind.

"The fuck did they find us?" you whispered to him.

"the car." he reasoned "did ya check if it had a tracker?"

"I didn't have time." you admitted "But Edge-"

"he must have missed it. paintin' that thing up took a long ass time."

"Thank god we drove here and they didn't find us at the hotel."

A gunshot rang through the air, deep and metallic. Everyone ducked, a few people screamed.

"MONSTERS!" A voice called from the front "WE KNOW YOU'RE IN HERE! SHOW YOURSELVES!"

"mcready..." Red recognised.

The staff looked around, eyeing up the few customers that were there. Of all of them, it was Red who looked the most suspicious. One of the larger male staff members put a hand on his shoulder.

"Get out the back door." he told Red "We'll keep them busy as long as we can."

"ya don't have to do that." 

"We'll see." he replied with a nod, backing away from the group and reluctantly getting up, walking slowly back to the front.

A few of the other staff got up and followed him, while the rest proceeded to the back. One of the young girls waited with you.

"Follow me." she said "I'll show you the back door."

She led you and Red through one door, separate from where the others were going, and it led you to a loading bay. Cages of rubbish and cardboard were dotted around, but mostly it was empty, the large metal shutter sitting closed. The girl listened at the back door for a while before grabbing the handle.

"I don't know what you guys are doing so far south, but it isn't safe for you here." she told you "You need to get out of here as fast as you can, and don't look back."

She was trying to teach you to suck eggs, but she didn't know that. You just thanked her.

"I think you sho-"

The girl didn't have a chance to finish that thought, as a shotgun fired at such close range that it made Swiss cheese out of her head, the barrel poking through the now open door. You didn't have time to think, grabbing Red and hiding behind the closest cage of cardboard before the body even hit the ground. It was only just big enough to hide him, even crouching. The door swung open, three men in heavy boots wandering in. You knew one has a shotgun, and you were certain the other two must be armed as well.

"She was talking to someone." one of them reasoned.

"McReady said this bastard can teleport." the second said.

"Then why didn't he do that back at the church?" the third asked "His magic ain't working right."

"The others don't teleport." the first told them "Spread out, we'll find something." 

Shit! Shit shit shit! What could you do? Where could you go? You couldn't pick any of them off without the others hearing you. You looked around from your limited vantage point, trying to find another door, but there was no cover between you and it. What could you do? What could you do?!

Red grabbed your face, spinning it towards him, and kissed you square on the mouth. The fuck?! Before you could even make a fist, he released you and sprinted off, deliberately knocking over a stack of boxes. You had forgotten how fast he could be...

"There he is!"

"Get him!"

The men didn't even bother to raise their weapons, instead taking after him on foot. You waited until the last one has passed you before you headed back for the door. You stopped only briefly as your conscience pulled at you - could you really just leave? What about the staff and customers hiding in the other room? And Red? Your stomach let out a loud gurgle, reminding you why you were here in the first place. Yes, you could just leave, and the only person here you owed anything to was your baby. The sound of gunfire behind you confirmed your decision, and you readied your handgun as you slowly opened the door.

The service yard wads empty but for the staffs cars. You ignored the main exit and crept along to the side gate, which led to the front of the shop. You froze as a strange sound met your ears - a heavy sloshing, and the dragging of metal on tarmac. You ducked behind the cars as the smell hit you - gasoline. These sick fucks were going to have their bonfire one way or another. Six guys wandered past you, holding the barrels between them. They were going to block the back door with the fire, trapping everyone inside.

The staff... burning alive is one of the worst ways to die, you wouldn't wish that on anyone. You did some quick calculations - barrels that size would let off one hell on an explosion if you shot them, and that would undoubtedly set off the others, which would ignite these cars... if you were going to shoot them, you'd want to be on the other side of the car park - at least - with a high powered sniper rifle. What could you do? You didn't know the emergency number this side of the border to summon the fire brigade, but since you were doing less than legal things yourself, it hadn't seemed important.

There was a bright flash of light from the front of the shop, followed by the sound of screaming and more gunfire. The shots were so fast, they could only have come from a semi-automatic. Another bright flash.

"The fuck was that?" one of the men gasped.

There was another flash of light, followed by the front windows exploding. The screaming and gunfire grew louder. The men dropped the barrels, running back to the front of the shop. You took your chance, sprinting back to the back door and entering the building. The staff and few customers were easy enough to find, huddled in the break room like terrified sheep.

"They're going to burn the building down!" you declared "Get out the back door and run!"

They didn't need to be told twice, those who were too scared to move being dragged out by the others. You were right on their heels, back in the fresh air and watching them sprint out the main gate and into the darkness. Good deed done, you proceeded back to the side gate. Like a fool, you had left your phone in the car. When were you going to fucking learn? You crouched behind the cars again, listening and waiting.

More flashes of light, more screaming. What the hell was going on? Had someone shot a breaker box or something? Regardless, there was no-one in the car park, so you sprinted for it, diving in the back of the vehicle before you could be seen. You couldn't stay here - it was the car they had followed. All the important things were left in the hotel room, thank goodness, but there were still one or two bits under the seat. You looked around for your phone, but it wasn't where you had been sitting, nor was it on the floor. Had those assholes been through the car already? You checked under the front seat - no, the bag Jack had given you was still there.

The 'Papyrus Special', he had called it. You fished it out, tearing out the lining to get to the layers beneath. You found a flick-knife, a remote (to what you couldn't say), a pack of magic rations and a... corded bracelet? Knowing Jack, it must have some purpose, so you slipped it on. Two seconds later, you had devoured the magic rations and shoved the other things in your pocket. Now you faced a choice - go back for Red and risk your baby, or make a break for it and leave Red to die.   

Despite everything... despite everything, you couldn't just abandon him. He had let himself be seen so you could stay hidden. He wouldn't be here at all if not for you... _shit_. You wanted to leave, you really did, but you just couldn't do it. You threw the back of the car open and crawled out, carefully scanning the area. There was that flash of light again, but the sound of gunfire was far quieter. Whatever it was, maybe you could use it to your advantage? One of the cars lining the front of the shop exploded, flipping straight up and careening back to the ground.

Whatever you did, you had to be smart, and you had to be fast.

You sprinted for the shop. All you had to do was find Red, and get the hell out of here. You ducked behind the truck furthest from the shop, peeking around it. The front was littered with debris, mostly glass, but also metal, guns, and what you could only recognise as 'organic parts'. What the hell was going on in there?

The flashes were coming from the back of the shop now, so you edged towards the broken window, hopping up into the shop and hiding behind one of the tills. He couldn't hide as easily as you, where would be the best place to look?

Something exploded, showering you in debris even here. Fuck, this was a bad idea! Did some idiot bring dynamite or what?!

Something clattered against what was left of the wall, making a bizarre 'ting' sound as it bounced. Looking at it, you saw it roll towards you a bit before collapsing. What the heck was that? A bracelet? You crept forward, picking the large silver ring up from the ground and examining it.

You immediately recognised monster runes on the outside. 

'F742 - Sans Aster.'

It wasn't a bracelet. It was a magic-suppressing manacle. Red had slipped his cuffs.

There was another blinding flash of light, and in that instant you knew what it was. Memories of ten years ago came flooding back - the army of blasters firing in all directions. The screaming. The fear.

You had to get out of here.

With nothing more than a glance over your shoulder, you leapt back over the wall.

"HELP ME!" a male voice shrieked.

You turned at the sound, but even then it was too late - he was only upright long enough for you to see it was McReady, half burnt to shit and covered in blood, a bone longer than he was tall sticking through his chest - before he fell to the ground, dead.

Behind him stood Red, grinning that sharp toothed smile that affirmed exactly how much danger you were now in.

"ya came back for me?" he realised, and your spine went cold as you recognised that tone "babe, ya shouldn't have done that. think of the baby!"

He wasn't mad. He was happy. _He was thrilled._

"eh, we're just about done here anyway." he told you with a shrug, walking over the rubble towards you "i think i blew up our shoppin', though. not that it matters. now that we have a choice, i really don't want our kid eatin' this crap."

'Our' kid...

You couldn't even back away - in a blink, he was in front of you, wrapping his arms around you tightly.

"think i can get us across the border from here." he pondered, burying his sharp teeth in your hair "let's get outta here - we got a baby to prepare for."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never said Red was getting a redemption arc :)


	21. An Arrival

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, the response on that last chapter was overwhelming! You have no idea how happy it made me, thank you all so much!
> 
> I have to admit, I was waiting to write the authors note at the bottom every since Red was included in the story...

"ya know what i love most about monster food? never goes off. i bought this bread fifteen years ago, but it's still good. not even gone hard yet."

You didn't care what he was saying, you just kept eating. You couldn't even stop yourself any more, downing anything he put in front of you without hesitation. Red sat calmly on the other side of the small table, sipping on a cup of coffee so strong he by rights ought to be chewing it.

You didn't know where you were. Back in the Northland, you were sure, but that was your best guess. The flat was small, sparse, barely furnished. You thought it must have been a safe house from the Fell brothers drug running days, and you could tell from the view out of the window that you were a few floors up, but nothing more. You couldn't focus on anything but eating.

You had so many questions. You were angry, for a start, furious even, and worried about Sans and Papyrus, still stuck across the border without you, but you weren't in any position to start attacking him. The monster food was much better than the human food in terms of giving the baby what it wanted, but it was still an absurd amount. Leaving you at the table, Red disappeared every now and again to tidy up a room, clean the bathroom, get more food in... he was fucking nesting, the bastard. Whenever he sat back at the table, idly talking away, you were never sure if he expected you to be listening or not.

Something inside you clicked, and you finally - finally!! - weren't hungry any more. Never have you been so happy to stop eating. Red arched a brow when you spat out your mouthful.

"ya good now?" he asked.

"Fuck you." you spat.

"aaaand it begins." he sighed.

"Excuse me?!" you fired back "What the fuck did you expect?! You slipped your cuffs, you kidnapped me - _again!_ \- and worst of all, you lied to me! You have learned _nothing_ from what happened ten years ago! What happened to a decade of therapy? Why did you try so hard to pretend you were different, to pretend you were better, that you were over it, when you were just planning on pulling this shit _again_?!"

"that's the crazy part, doll." he told you, completely serious "i _was_ over it."

It must have been clear on your face how much you really didn't believe him, as he took a self-conscious sip of his coffee.

"hell, babe, even last month i was lookin' back at the things i did back then and i thought 'wow, that was fuckin' crazy, what the hell was wrong with me?'" he elaborated "i thought those feelin's couldn't possibly have been real, right? the things i thought, the plans i had... i did things i never even told ya about...it was some kind of mania, normal people don't do shit like that. prison shrink says my problem is only seein' exactly what i want to, and with wing encouragin' me, i was stuck in some kind of feedback loop. i believed that for a long time. i figured it wasn't even about ya, but my own messed up psyche..."

He looked you in the eye, and you almost shrunk back from the intense expression on his face.

"then i met ya again." he went on "and i told myself, 'sans, yer not just gonna see what ya want this time. yer gonna see the truth.' and _boy_ did i. if anythin', past me was just guilty of underestimatin' ya, of seein' ya as some fragile angel i could control. that was my mistake-"

"Just the one?" you interrupted, but he just laughed.

"i wasn't crazy back then." he insisted "just stupid. yer more amazin' than past me ever thought, and this little rescue mission just proved that to me. i had no idea ya were a getaway driver! yer strong, yer smart, yer in charge, but yer also kind: ya made sure we were fed, ya cared about us... about me... hell, ya saved my life twice!"

"I needed you alive to find Axe and Sugar." you excused.

"and the third time? when ya were willin' to go into a war zone full of gun-totin' assholes just to find me? even puttin' our baby at risk-"

" _My_ baby." you growled "Not our."

"for now." he dismissed.

"I did that because of who I am, not because of who you are." you insisted, sitting back on your chair and crossing your arms "So, what's the plan this time? What grand scheme have you concocted? Is it a twelve step program, or are you just winging it?"

"funny." he said, sipping his coffee "but that was my mistake last time. makin' things too complicated. this time it's gonna be simple - good ol' fashioned stockholm syndrome. i'm gonna be the only adult ya get to talk to, and yer gonna love me if only by default. ya'll adjust."

"If I don't escape the second you turn your back."

"aw, babe... ya ain't gonna have any choice."

He levelled you a completely humourless, but careful look, confusing the hell out of you.

"three... two... one..."

A bolt of blinding pain ripped through you, so deep and shattering you felt like it came from your very soul. Every other sense shut down for a good ten seconds, leaving you seeing spots, ears ringing as you struggled to catch your breath. Every muscle in your body twitched and spasmed, robbing you of any control of your limbs. Only once you could see again did you realise you had thrown up on the floor. 

Oh god...

"Wh... what did you do?!" you accused, whole body shaking with the aftershocks.

"me? nothin'." he swore "yer in labour."

_EXCUSE ME?!_

"I thought you said I had a few days!" you cried as panic overtook you.

"yeah, i lied." he admitted casually "if ya knew how close ya really were, ya would have woken the others up. couldn't risk it."

"Oh god..." you panted "Oh god..."

You couldn't do this! You didn't have a doctor, or even a midwife, Sans and Papyrus weren't here, Anna and your foster mother weren't here, god only knows where the nearest hospital was, this place wasn't sanitary and you hadn't taken any kind of lessons and you had no idea what to expect andohfuckyouwereactuallysoscaredwhatthehellwasgoingtohappenwereyougoingtodiewasyourbabygoingtodieohfuckohfuckOHFIUCK _Y_ _OUCOULDN'TDOTHIS!!!_

Your panic didn't abate as Red got up, rounding the little table and helping you to your shaking feet.

"ya got nothin' to worry about." he assured, rubbing your back "i've done this a couple of times - hell, i delivered papyrus!"

Another lightning strike of pain hit you, and you actually screamed, nearly falling to your knees. Red just scooped you up bridal style, continuing to the master bedroom.

"i did all sorts of research too, back when we first met." he went on "givin' birth is gonna hurt - _a lot._ even more than doin' it the human way. didn't think that was possible, after i looked it up. hey, is it true when humans give birth they-"

"Do not finish that sentence!" you hissed, clutching his shirt as the pain began to ebb.

"i'll take that as a yes." he grimaced "disgustin'. good news is, monster birthin' is way less... bloody... and fluidy... and ... yeah, less of that. won't even need to change the sheets when ya done."

Backing into the bedroom, he placed you down on the bed gently, swinging your legs up onto it before removing his jacket and shirt and kicking off his shoes. He was getting comfortable... he was going to be here for the whole thing... is that why his coffee was so strong?

"the bad news," he continued, turning to look at you "is that yer gonna be pretty much helpless for a few weeks after the kid is born. yer pushin' another bein' out of yer _soul_ , and human souls bein' so tough... well, it's gonna be difficult, and ya need time to recover."

"W... _weeks_?"

"but don't worry - i'm gonna take care of ya. both of ya. i'll be a great dad, ya gonna wonder why ya ever doubted me."

A wave of panic rolled through you, followed by another white hot contraction in your  _fucking soul_. What the fuck were you thinking?! Why did you think this would be okay?! You were going to die, you were going to die-!

"yer not gonna die." Red soothed, positioning himself behind you on the bed to help you stay upright "i'm not gonna let that happen. we're gonna get through this, as a family."

"I FUCKING HATE YOU!"

"we've hit this point already?" he chuckled "usually labour has to be further along."

You started to cry as you braced yourself for the pain you already felt coming. Red just shushed you, rubbing your arm as he took your hand.

 

* * *

 

Giving birth was... traumatic. Red hadn't been lying about the pain - it was worse than anything you had ever known. Even if you had been in a hospital, surrounded by professionals and the skeletons you loved, it would have been the single most difficult thing you had ever done, but here, in this dingy little flat, with only the insane skeleton that kidnapped you for company, you thought for sure you were going to die. You felt like you _wanted_ to.

The monster birthing process may not be as visceral as the human one, but you threw up all the same as the unrelenting pain tore you up inside. Your soul emerged from your body completely unbidden, giving you a front row seat to something you never expected you'd have to witness - that vibrant yellow soul pushing it's way out of yours. The outside of your soul, which you always thought looked like glass thanks to the small cracks that ran across it, melted and bent like plastic as the yellow soul tried to eject itself. The shining pink fog swirled like a maelstrom with every contraction, every push, every scream of pain. Red stayed behind you the whole time, keeping you up, holding your hand, injecting healing magic straight into your soul when need be.

The process took hours. How long exactly, you couldn't say. You lost all track of anything but the pain.

After all eternity had passed, with a final push, the worst was over. Your scream was so loud, you were sure it would break the windows. Your eyes were forced closed by the effort of it, every nerve of your being on fire. You didn't notice Red move, whipping away the towel he had put down when you started to vomit, grabbing a blanket, grabbing something else. Something he placed on your trembling lap. Was it...? It wasn't moving. Your head swam and eyes throbbed, but you forced them open to look.

You were immediately hit with a wave of revulsion. The infant skeleton on your legs looked too... human. The bones were soft, almost spongy looking, the head far too big, and the ribs were as thin as toothpicks... Had something gone wrong? It wasn't moving. Was this your fault? It wasn't moving. Had you caused this somehow? _It wasn't moving._

Like the flash of a camera in a dark cave, the eye lights flicked on, bright white illuminating the sockets, which fell into darkness behind them. All the lines and edges softened as the hands twitched, trying out its brand new limbs for the first time. With a shuddering breath, it started to cry.

_Thank god, it really was a monster._

You tried to pick it up, but your arms wouldn't move. Nothing would move. You couldn't even move your head anymore. You couldn't react at all when Red put his hand on your back, leaning down.

"it's a girl." he told you, bright red tears in his eyes "she's beautiful. you've done _amazin'_."

He kissed you on the forehead. You couldn't stop him. You couldn't do anything.

"listen' to her screamin'!" he laughed "she's got spirit!"

Taking the blanket, Red knelt down beside the bed and scooped the baby up, swaddling it securely. Not having a Moses basket or crib in their safe house, he had emptied a small drawer of its contents and laid it on the chair beside the bed. With the utmost care and attention, he placed the newborn within it.

"this is just for now." he reassured her "daddy's gonna get ya a proper crib in a few days."

You felt yourself swaying. You couldn't stop it. You couldn't speak.

Red caught you before your head hit the duvet, lying you comfortably on your side facing the baby. After a brief warning, he removed your trousers, your jacket, your watch, anything uncomfortable or restricting, so you could rest properly. You were so tired. You were so tired. Your senses cut out one by one. You couldn't hear the baby crying any more.

The baby. Your baby. Had you just had a baby? You'd certainly given birth, but... but it wasn't right. Something wasn't right. As you looked at the infant in the drawer, squirming and twitching, the only thought that came to your head was 'what now?' There was no bloom of love, no instant connection between mother and child. Was there something wrong with you?

You were tired. That was it... so tired.... too tired to feel... everything would b e  b e t t e r... after s o m e... s  l  e  e  p.   .   .   .   

* * *

The baby was asleep. Little tyke had devoured two whole bottles of formula before nodding off. Stars, she looked like an angel. He couldn't stop staring at her. He eventually made himself, sneaking into the living room and grabbing the satchel he had made during your little road trip.

Thank goodness the baby was a girl! He had gone a little overboard with some of the frills on the clothes he made, but damn if that baby wasn't going to be adorable! He crept back into the bedroom and measured the onesies and rompers against the sleeping tot. They were a little big... eh, she'd grow into them! Little cutie. While he was there, he checked on you as well - as expected, you were completely spent, your soul desperately trying to recover from the trauma. He'd take care of you. He'd take care of you, and then you would love him. The way it was meant to be.

He hadn't lied, when he said he was over it. He was. He thought the him of ten years ago had been fucking _nuts_. Kidnapping you, trying to cut your legs off so you couldn't leave, that whole business with the wedding... it had made perfect sense at the time, but ten years of distance made it seem like nothing but the actions of a madman. Well, he was starting to understand why he had done those things. He understood that those overwhelming emotions had been real, not something he made up.

He saw you up on that pipe, looking at the water, so scared of what lay below while the spotlight closed in on its path... or course he went back for you. Really, Black or Mutt (or Rus, as he preferred to be know these days) should have done it, but they were too slow. You had schooled that little brat Black repeatedly, not taking any of his nonsense. You were the natural leader Black wishes he was, thinking of every angle, every path. When he found out you were pregnant, boy had that been a slap in the face, but at the same time... at the same time, it felt right. The two of you were finally back together, it made perfect sense that there was going to be a baby. Axe was his alternate, after all, who's to say that the baby _wasn't_ his...  

He tried not to think that way. Stars knows he tried, but you... _you_... you hadn't done anything, you were just being you, but... every reason he had fallen in love with you in the first place smacked him straight in the face. Everything he swore he must have made up to justify how... _intense_ he had been back then. But no, they were real. You were real. Trapped in a car with you for hours on end, stuck in tiny hotels rooms where he was forced to interact, he was surrounded by you, blinded by a brilliance he thought he had imagined... but you acted like you hated him, like you couldn't stand to have him near you. He tried to respect that, to school his throbbing soul, to not give in. He tried. _He tried._

And then he remembered something. You in that bikini, the day at the beach. You wanted to wear it. You wanted to be cute. But instead you wore a frumpy t-shirt and shorts. You felt like you couldn't wear it. You hid that cute swimsuit under your clothes. You always hid what you really wanted, because that's how you were trained. Even now, you felt like you couldn't be honest. You couldn't... admit that you still loved him. You hid those emotions, because that's how you were trained.

Made perfect sense, right?

Well, things would be different this time. He wasn't going to make the same mistakes as before. None of that leg-cutting-off nonsense. If he hadn't tried to do that, you never would have run away.

It took him years to figure out how you got out of those restraints. It wasn't until a nasty fight in the prison yard that saw one of the human guards getting their entire arm dislocated that Red was barefacedly told how it happened. Watching the humans force it back into its socket with a sickening crack was a revelation. This was something humans could just _do_. It was equal parts disgusting and amazing. He practised it for years - he was in prison, what the hell else was he going to do? - but so far he had only managed to dislocate one of his hands, his dominant one proving much more difficult to dislodge.

With that in mind, he left you and the baby sleeping - stars, what were you going to call her? - and left the flat, going downstairs to Wing's old work room. He missed his brother. He missed both of them. At least he got to see Papyrus - he had grown into such a fine man, he couldn't be prouder of him! But he knew Wing was dead. It was the only way he would have left him in that prison for so long. He missed him.

The work room was a lot dustier than he remembered, but the tools were still where Wing had left them. One of them would get this other damn cuff off, and then Red would finally have access to his full magic again. Logical place to start was a saw, right?

Red must have jumped a foot into the air when there was a deafening _thud_ on the metal front door of the building. It almost sounded like a battering ram. He poked his head around the door as another followed, giving him a clear line of sight. The metal door had almost caved in, and in only two hits...

His non-existent stomach bottomed out when he realised. _He knew exactly who that was._  And he was still only at half magic! He had to get this cuff off NOW!

All it took was another mighty swing, and the door flew off its hinges.

The Hammer had come for his revenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun duuuuunnnnn! Cliffhanger! Or, cliff-hammer?... I'll show myself out...


	22. Axe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, there were a lot of people baying for Red's blood at the end of that last chapter! Not that I disagree... Let's see if you got your wish.
> 
> This is the penultimate chapter, folks! Enjoy this crazy ride while it lasts!

To most monsters clans, the moniker of 'Hammer' belonged to a certain turtle long since retired from being head of the royal guard. Such a hero couldn't exist in a place like Fell, however, and the title fell to someone else. Someone much less gallant, far less noble, and way more willing to use that eponymous hammer to crush his enemies.

'Jackhammer', boss of the united rabbit gangs of Snowdin.

Red wasn't fooled by the beer gut and middle-age spread - beneath that black and white fluff was solid muscle. How else could he lift that massive hammer and swing it around like it was nothing? Red had always managed to stay on the right side of that hammer in the past, but... things had changed.

For the first time in twenty years, Red and Jack were alone in the same room. 

"Hey, Bones." the rabbit greeted "Long time no see."

"hammer..." the skeleton returned, mind whirring as he sought out any advantage he could find.

He still only had half his magic. He needed to be smart if he was going to get out of this alive.

"Why did you do it, Bones?" Jack asked him, swinging the hammer casually over his shoulder as he blocked the door with his broad body.

There was point asking 'do what' - they both knew exactly what he was talking about, and to suggest otherwise could only make him angry.

"i was just doin' what wing told me." Red answered.

"That was always your excuse." he criticised "Just doing what Wing told you. You could have said no."

Jack took a step forward, Red took one back.

"Did you enjoy it?" the rabbit growled, voice dripping with a deep-seated hate "Was it fun? Murdering my children? _Old friend_?"

Red was going to die, regardless of what he said. It was twenty years too late for 'sorry'.

He didn't have a chance to even try, as Jack launched his attack, flicking the hammer up and over his head with ease. Red only just got out of the way as it came down, smashing into the floor and obliterating the concrete.

"shit-!"

"First I'm gonna crush your feet." the gang leader promised "Then I'm gonna crush your hands. Then your ribs. Then I'm gonna pull out every one of your fucking teeth and make you eat them!"

"fuck this!" Red swore, noping the fuck out and shortcutting upstairs.

Or, he would have, but he was suddenly thrown to the ground, convulsing and gasping from the pain in his wrist. He barely spotted the hammer this time, rolling away with millimetres to spare and clambering under the table, dashing out the other side to put some distance between them. What the fuck had just happened?! He looked at his wrist - the one that was still shackled by the magic suppresser - to find the bones were scorched all around it.

"Like that little trick?" Jack asked, once again grabbing his attention "A little something I've been working on while you were over the border. Couldn't have you running away."

He reached into his back pocket, pulling out some cobbled together device that Wing wouldn't even spit on.

"You know me, always building things." he went on "This little baby is linked to that pretty bracelet of yours, and it's going to give you a shock every time you try to shortcut away."

"what the fuck?!" Red swore, feeling his back hit a counter "how did... are ya serious?! how the fuck did ya know i would only get one of them off?! was this yer entire fucking plan?!"

"Of course not." Jack grinned "Y'know, Bones, I used to think you were nuts, all your talk about fate and destiny, but I gotta say, you've made a believer out of me. When you turned up with lil' bun... man, the stars were in alignment for me, weren't they?"

With one fast swing of his weapon, Jack destroyed the table, the only barrier between them. He didn't just break it - he atomised it, microscopic splinters flying in all directions. Red grabbed whatever was behind him and threw it, bolting before he even saw if it hit its mark, and sprinted to the other side of the floor. Setting up a hideout in this old warehouse had seemed like such a good idea fifteen years ago, but now there was nothing to hide behind but empty shelves and old machine parts. Red was fast, but his stamina was poor. Jack was slow, but he would outlast him for sure. How could Red get away? 

The hammer came down again, turning a dry old shelving unit into kindling, which Red barely avoided. He couldn't stop. Jack wasn't giving him time to think: he could feel the swish of air right behind him as the hammer swung again, and again, and again. A single wrong step was all it took, and Red's ankle twisted painfully under him, causing him to fall. He didn't even have time to brace himself, to anticipate the pain, before the hammer came down on his foot, leaving nothing behind but dust and regret.

Red screamed like he had never screamed in his life, a primal, almost feral sound that echoed in the barren concrete room. Jack merely grinned, raising his hammer high to strike again, when another sound came to his long ears, giving him pause. Not having ears, Red didn't hear it right away, but when he did, his whole body flooded with horror.

The baby was crying.

Jack grinned. An impossibly malicious, almost sadistic grin, cruel beyond words, and Red knew exactly what he was thinking. The rabbit stepped away from him, heading for the stairs.

"NO!" Red shrieked, trying desperately to battle through his own pain and catch up to him.

But he was half way up the stairs already, and Red couldn't even stand. He had no choice but to watch his back disappearing through the door at the top, knowing what he had planned...

* * *

 

Jack wasn't angry. Not anymore. Twenty years had dulled the white hot flame to a gentle burning ember, always there, but manageable. Twenty years had given him time to think, to plan. He knew exactly how he was going to torture his former friend, exactly which order he was going to break his bones in, how he was going to cause him as much pain as possible before he dusted. All the pain Jack could inflict would never be enough. There was no hammer, knife or bullet that could equal the pain he had felt when he lost his children. When they were taken from him, by a man he had once considered his friend. His wife hadn't even seen it coming...

And then he heard the baby cry, and he knew - he knew he could show Red first hand what that had felt like. He wasn't thinking about the life of the child - he was too far gone for that - but he wasn't completely lost either. He would make it quick. He had left this life behind long ago, but it was easy to slip back into it, like putting on an old favourite pair of boots. This was the last thing 'Jackhammer' had to do before he could retire properly from this violence, the way he and wife had always talked about. No-one had to know but him.

He found the baby easily, thanks to the noise it was making. The crying was a little strange, though... he saw why soon enough - the little thing was brand new, it hadn't figured out crying yet. He wouldn't even need his hammer, this thing would dust if he dropped it on the floor. A twinge of conscious pulled at him as he beheld the newborn, but it was buried by twenty years of bloodlust. He would be kind enough to take the mother out first, so she didn't have to see her child killed. Sure enough, there they were on the bed, asleep, and...

Jack blinked a few times, rubbing his eyes. Was... was he seeing things? He leaned over your sleeping form, taking in all the unique features of your face, before finally _checking_ you. It really was you. What were you doing here, why were you...? A little mental maths was all it took for him to realise the baby couldn't possibly have been Red's, and revulsion washed over him like a wave of nausea. This baby had to be Papyrus'. It hit him for only a second what he had been willing to do, what would have happened if he were a man of worse temper, what he would have done if he hadn't checked, before it was replaced with a more useful realisation - what Red had done.

Just another nail to drive into that fucking scum's soul with his hammer.

"...Jack?"

The rabbit startled - he wouldn't have heard your voice at all if not for his big ears and being so close. Your eyes were hardly open, glassy, but still somehow desperate.

"Hey there, lil' bun." he greeted gently "I saw what you made. It's a-plus work."

You sobbed quietly, ugly tears rolling down your exhausted face. You couldn't have given birth more than a few hours ago, you needed to be in a hospital.

"T-there's something wrong with me." you whimpered "I didn't f-feel anything..."

Jacks heart broke. He didn't even notice the hammer in his hand disappear as he scooped you up gently, helping you sit, and wrapped you in his fuzzy arms. With what little strength you had, you grabbed his shirt, and he saw you had tied his daughters cord bracelet around your wrist.

"You're just tired." he cooed "Having a baby's hard, y'know? You'll be okay after some rest."

"B-b-but..." you cried "I d-don't l-love her..."

Jack laughed gently, patting your head.

"Of course not, you've only known her an hour." he reassured "Falling in love with your baby the second it's born? That's one in a million, bun, not the rule. There's nothing wrong with you."

"I don't... I don't..."

"One month from now, this will all be moot." he shushed "Just a bad dream."

You didn't reply - you had fallen asleep again. Jack laid you down gently, re-covering you with the blanket. His eyes lingered on the bracelet.

A fresh wave of anger washed over him. That bastard skeleton was still ruining peoples lives. Jack had never believed in fate, but that it was you and Papyrus, the boy he had come to think of like a son, that had bought Red back into his life, ... 'coincidence' wasn't a strong enough word. It had to be destiny. The whole reason he had put that bracelet, one of his most prized possessions, in that bag was so you might wear it, and Red would see it, and just _know_ Jack was still coming for him. How short-sighted of him. Twenty years of fantasies had robbed him of his better senses - after so long, so many lives ruined, Red probably wouldn't even recognise that bracelet anymore. He wasn't a man that lived in the past, always thinking about his next victim. Jack would be doing the whole world a favour by dusting him.

He picked up his hammer, turning to finish the job he had come here for and end that grinning reprobate once and for all, only to stop in his path.

The baby was gone.

He could still hear her crying, so she couldn't be far. Had Red actually managed to hop his way up the stairs? Jack would have loved to have seen that.

"You're a quiet bastard when you want to be." the rabbit commented as he entered the hall, sure enough finding Red's retreating form leaning heavily against the wall, mewling infant in his arms "A lot of money to be made in child snatching, is there?"

"y-ya don't know what yer talkin' about." Red panted, exhausted from the effort "this baby's mine."

"That's obviously untrue. Give her to me."

"no."

"Bones..."

Jack grabbed Red's shoulder, slamming him hard into the wall. He was injured and worn out, he couldn't fight back. The ex-gang boss loomed over him.

"You got two options." he growled "Either that baby isn't yours, and we put her back in her crib and finish this like men, or she is yours, in which case I dust her and make you eat it before I break every one of your ribs and make you eat that too. What's it gonna be?"

The bastard was actually thinking about it, eyes darting too and fro. Jack was disgusted - he would have done anything to protect his children, even if it meant disowning them.

"Wrong answer."

Jack didn't even use his hammer, grabbing the skeletons sternum and pulling, revelling in the snap and crunch as it pulled away from the rest of his rib cage. Skeletons could be such fragile monsters. The blinding pain made him drop the baby, and neither of them were fast enough to catch her. Before Jack could even panic, a blue glow surrounded the screaming child, stopping her in mid-air. Gravity magic? No way Red could...

The baby floated away, down the hall, and Jack followed with his eyes, still pinning Red to the wall. Sans stood at the end of the hall, eye lights extinguished, desperate healing magic emanating from the hole in his skull. In one hand was an axe, made of bone and blue ice. The baby landed in the other, tucked into the crook of his arm, safe and sound. Jack felt Red tense, and considering he was already incredibly tense, that was saying something.

The second the baby was settled on his arm, it stopped crying. Sans' lightless sockets were locked on her, unmoving. Jack could tell something was wrong with him, but after what he must have been through down south... The rabbit startled when Sans started to cry, bright red tears falling silently from his empty sockets. As his face crumpled, his red eye flicked back on, and he dropped his axe with a dull thud, bracing the baby with both hands. The skeleton actually fell to his knees, waves of relief, worry, joy and sorrow emanating from him like light from a bulb.

Was... was he the father?

Feeling Red started to struggle, Jack was bought back to the task at hand. He wasn't going to risk Red getting his hands on the baby again, or things would get complicated. He grabbed him firmly and hauled him to the door that led to the stairs. Rather than lead him down, Jack simply threw him over the landing, almost disappointed when he didn't immediately dust on impact with the concrete below.

Almost.

He took the stairs at a leisurely pace, knowing the skeleton wasn't going anywhere as he writhed and wheezed, trying to keep his ribs together. As he reached his prone form, he was stopped by an axe embedding itself in the wall, thrown from the top of the stairs. Sans shortcutted down, now without the baby, and pulled the axe away.

"jack." he greeted, voice still weak "what are you doing here?"

"Same as you, I imagine." he answered "Feeling better?"

"i'll feel better when he's dead."

Jack just laughed, unable to argue with his point.

"a-axe!" Red gasped "buddy! cousin!"

"shut up." Sans growled "i should have done this ten years ago."

"it doesn't have to be this way!"

"how did you think this was going to end?!" Sans snapped "did you think we would just give up, leave our mate and our baby with _you_ and go on with our lives? you had to know we would _always_ be after you!"      

"i thought i could get this damn thing off my wrist and disappear before ya got yer senses back." he responded, changing his tune entirely as he struggled in vain to push himself up, dust falling from his shattered ribs and footless ankle "how'd ya even find me?"

"we're alternates, you idiot." Sans answered "our unique magic is similar. you can find any human you've met before, i can find any monsters i've met before."

"fuck." Red growled, realising the implications of that "that's how ya found me ten years ago..."

Jack was impressed - he had actually managed to pull himself off the ground, rattling and twitching as he braced himself on his elbows. Was he going to try and crawl away? Jack would love to see that.

"it helps that you're predictable as fuck." Sans went on, also watching his wretched attempt at an escape "you don't think things through. wing was always the smart one." 

"shut the fuck up." Red growled, coughing up dust.

"what was your next step, red?" Sans taunted "keep the human locked up forever? just hope they become traumatised enough to fall in love with you? and when they refuse your advances? what would you have done then?"

"i ain't a fucking rapist." Red panted.

"well, i guess you've got that over wing then."

Red froze. Jack couldn't help the wicked grin the spread across his face. He wished he had popcorn as Sans delivered the final blow.

"the fuck did ya say?"

"you didn't know?" Sans elaborated "that's how wing died. he pulled your beloved into the void and tried to force himself on them. ended up getting pistol whipped to death."

"yer a liar!" Red barked "he wouldn't have done that! he knew i was in love!"

"he knew." Sans was sure "he just didn't care. he saw something he wanted and he tried to take it. that's the way you worked, wasn't it?"

"fuck you!"

Red flung out one of his hands, using what little magic he had left to try and summon a blaster, but Sans cleaved it in two before it was even fully formed.

"you used too much magic when you made that mess at the supermarket." he told him "i'm guessing you haven't eaten or slept since then, you cocky bastard."

"fuck you!"

"this is getting gratuitous." Sans sighed "let's get this over with before Papyrus gets here."

Jack gleefully picked up his hammer, Sans taking his axe.

"you really bring out the worst in people, red." was his final word as they rounded on the stricken, screaming skel.

* * *

 

When you finally woke up, it took you a while to realise where you were. It was bright, and everything around you was white and pastel. The bed was not comfortable at all, and there was something sharp stuck in your hand. As your vision cleared, styrofoam ceiling tiles and a starch privacy curtain were your first clues as to your location. You lifted your hand, your arm leaden with exhaustion, and looked at the sharp thing - nothing more than an i.v tube.

You were in a hospital.

"Darling?"

You looked over at the familiar voice. Papyrus leaned over you, having been sat on your other side, and for the first time you noticed his glasses were cracked.

"Hello handsome." you greeted.

He let out a shocked laugh, half happy and half relieved, and took your hand in his.

"Everything's going to be okay now." he told you "Just rest. We'll all go home when you're stronger."

A door clicked open, and you looked around to see Sans, pink bundle of blankets in his arms, enter. He similarly smiled upon seeing you, single red eye shining.

"hey, look who's up." he cooed, and you knew he wasn't talking to you.

As he walked over, Papyrus helped you sit up, adjusting the pillows behind you. Sans cradled the bundle with the utmost care before gently laying it in your lap. Bright white eye lights stared out at you, tiny skeletal hands just visible in the blanket. Your breath caught.

"She's adorable..."

"Oh my god, tell me about it!" Papyrus bragged "All the nurses want to hold her, she's the cutest baby in the whole maternity ward!"

"healthy, too." Sans assured "none of the famine deformities got passed to her. she's a regular little skeleton."

He chuckled.

"got a set of pipes on her, too. got that from you, i'm guessing."

Your hands were shaking from the effort, but you held your finger up to those tiny hands, which immediately grasped it, making soft noises. You already felt better. Clearer. Hopefully this whole episode would disappear from your mind like a bad dream, and you could be the family you had worked hard to be. Looking down at your baby, you felt the love inside you grow.

"Have you guys thought of a name?" you asked.

The boys looked at each other, excited and nervous, before turning back to you.

"As a matter of fact..." Papyrus started with a grin "I think we have a winner."

"buckle in, you're gonna love it." Sans agreed.

"Well, don't leave me in suspense." you laughed "What is it?" 


	23. An Ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know the last chapter was only just posted, but this one is very short, and there's nothing left to say after it, so... enjoy!

"Tahoma?"

"nope."

"Sceptre?"

"nuh-uh."

"Helvetica?"

"keep guessing."

"Ooh, ooh! Calisto!"

"Try again."

"Sans has forgotten the baby's name again, hasn't he?" Papyrus chuckled, placing the large platter of salad on the table.

"Looks like it." you laughed along "I wonder how long it will take those two to figure it out."

You watched Sans and the baby as they stood with two other skeletons, cousins you knew as BB and Creampuff, playing their guessing game.

"Daddy, can I have a carrot?"

You looked at your eldest child, who was sat in the lap of a reclining Rus, reaching her little grabby hands for the plate of salad.

"That depends." Papyrus told her "Are you going to eat it, or stick it up your nose like last time?"

"Neither." she stated matter-of-factly "My orange crayon ran out, so I'm gonna use the carrot instead."

"Carrots don't make orange, baby girl, they make a mess." you told her, stifling a laugh as you took the opportunity to wipe her hands, which somehow always managed to be sticky.

"don't stifle her creativity." Rus teased "maybe we want to make a mess, you don't know."

"NOT ON MY PRETTY DRESS!" she suddenly yelled, startling exactly no-one before picking up her crayon and going back to work on her scribbles.

"sorry, princess." Rus chuckled.

Spying a familiar face approaching, the three-year-old perked up, standing up on Rus' lap.

"Grandpa Jack!" she yelled, holding out her palm "Phone!"

The rabbit immediately took the imaginary phone, holding it up to his ear as he walked around to one of the empty seats.

"Hello?" he started "Oh, King Asgore, how nice to hear from you! Sure, I'd love to be head of the Royal Guard!"

He shot a teasing smirk at Black, who was sat on Rus' other side. The little girl clapped her hands at the pantomime he put on as he kept talking to 'Asgore', completely enthralled. Black rolled his eyes at the sly aside, but his days of wanting to be head of the royal guard were long gone.

"Why does he get to be Grandpa?" you father pretended to sulk, finishing off his beer as he sat on Black's other side "And I get stuck with Nonno?"

"Because he's actually around day-to-day." you justified, continuing to fold napkins on the table in front of you.

"Well, maybe I'll move closer." he suggested "Help you guys out a bit more."

"Please don't." Papyrus all but begged, making you all laugh.

Your father looked around a moment, finding his intended target manning the barbecue beside Grillby, who seemed to be giving him a few pointers.

"Son!" he yelled "Get me another beer, will ya?"

"Why don't you just inject some fat straight into your ass?" Edge answered immediately "What did the doctor tell you about your cholesterol, eh? You want another heart attack?"

Your father just grumbled, shaking his head, but didn't press the point. He got a wicked smile on his face as he suddenly realised something, turning back to Edge.

"If you're so responsible, why aren't you a father yet?" he teased "Clock's ticking, I want more grandbabies!"

Edges only response was a frustrated scream, having heard this for the past seven years, but even worse since your first was born. Everyone around the table chuckled as your father turned back around, shit eating grin on his face. His eyes softened as he turned to you.

"Don't suppose you're planning on any more?" he asked.

"Bold of you to assume we planned the ones we have." you replied honestly.

A skeleton on the other side of the table snorted into his coffee, making him choke. You were pretty sure his name was Comic. The guy beside him - Stretch? - patted his back as he coughed, still trying not to laugh.

"I think that one tickled his funny bone." you noted.

Comic, Stretch, and Rus laughed, but Black groaned, Papyrus putting his hands on your shoulders.

"Please, of all days, not today." he begged, but you could feel him vibrating as he tried not to laugh.

Hearing a startled yelp, you looked around to find Edge being besieged by puppies - he wasn't in town too often, so when he was, he became the trio's favourite climbing frame. Grillby just laughed as Edge was torn between getting them off him and being gentle with the only-just-school-aged pups.

"Captain, we're done with our patrol!" Dogaressa announced as she and the other dogs approached the table "All clear for miles around!"

"Good job." Black told them "And the preparations?"   

Greater dog let out one of his booming barks, wagging his tail proudly.

"Good." the small skeleton said again "You can join the festivities then, but keep your eyes peeled."

The dogs all saluted seriously before disbanding, settling themselves at another table.

"I see retirement's keeping you busy." your father teased.

"I'm not retired!" Black immediately snapped "I'm a regional commander! It's a lateral move!"

"i'm retired." Rus played along, earning him a glare from his brother.

Hearing your name being called, you looked around to see Anna beckoning you over to Grillby's, which was serving as your headquarters for the day. You excused yourself from the table to see what she wanted, crossing the closed off street. By the time you got there, she was practically jumping up and down in excitement, leading you inside and gesturing widely at the empty bar.

"Ta-da!"

On one of the tables sat two babies - your 18-month-old second born and her firstborn, who was very similar in age - and she'd dressed them in identical absurd outfits that made them look like frogs wearing tuxedo's. Behind them, a delighted Fuku flashed you the double peace sign.

"Twinsies!" Anna declared "Aren't they cute?! I needed an outfit for Callum and I just couldn't resist!"

It was too absurd - you just burst out laughing, leaning on one of the tables for support. Seeing you laugh, your little skel started to laugh as well, clapping their hands like the adorable little frog they were.

"I have to show Sans and Papyrus." you giggled, scooping the baby up "I wandered what you were doing in here."

"I got pictures if you want them." Anna confirmed, flashing her phone before she picked up her son and followed you, with Fuku firm on your heels.

"Um, yes!" you respond.

Fuku ran off you join her father, startling him a little, as the two of you made your way back to the gathering.

"Where's the spouse?" you asked her.

"Picking mum and dad up from the train station." she told you "Hopefully those two can be in a car together for ten minutes without killing each other."

"Fingers crossed."

Sans nearly bust a gut when he saw the frog tuxedo suit, to the point where he had to hand the newborn to Papyrus and steady himself on the table. Papyrus just shook his head, but still smiled fondly at his brother. More and more of the townsfolk arrived in short order, finding themselves seats, standing around talking, picking at the food as and when it was ready. You leaned over to Papyrus, who was giving the newborn a bottle, and gently elbowed him.

"And you wanted a seating arrangement." you teased lightly "Can you even imagine how stressed you would be right now?"

"When you're right, you're right." he sighed.

Soon enough, your foster parents arrived with Anna's spouse, fussing over their grandchildren and depositing their presents in the growing pile on a table to the side of the square. They and your father ignored each other in a frosty but mutual manner, your father discussing with Jack how the rabbit once 'up-cycled' a remote control into a tracking device (which was information you weren't sure you wanted your father to have...), while your foster parents chatted it up with Grillby, who was telling them how your post-natal issues had been much easier this time around (because no-one in this town had any secrets, apparently...). Once everyone was gathered, it was time to get down to whole reason everyone was here in the first place.

The music you had picked together started up, and everyone filed into neat lines on either side of the aisle. It didn't matter which side they picked, there was no distinction between 'their friends' and 'your friends'. Your eldest child relished in her assigned task, scattering flowers everywhere before running back to Grandpa jack, who happily picked her up. Sans and Papyrus stood with you, one on either side, as you waited for your cue to proceed.

"It's finally happening..." Papyrus whimpered, on the verge of tears.

"it's about damn time." Sans agreed.

They both turned to you, extending their hands, their implicit 'shall we?' hanging in the air. You happily took them in your own, taking just a moment to commit every sight and smell around you to memory.

It's not every day you got married, after all.

 

 

Fade to black. Credit's roll. [Music plays](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFYm9LKsuUo) over a montage of a happy ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff it started, and fluff it ended. As for the children's names... I'll leave that up to you XD
> 
> Reader and the boys get their happy ending, the disparate parts of the family are reunited, and Black and Rus even find themselves a home. I really couldn't end this any other way.
> 
> Man, writing these has been a blast! I've enjoyed every second of it, and every comment has bought such a grin to my face. Thank you all so much for coming with me on this ride, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did :) Seeing the same names comment chapter after chapter really made me feel like we were doing this together - I won't name and shame you, but you know who you are!
> 
> The time has come, however, to leave this Reader and their skels to their happy ending, and turn our attention to a different set of brothers, but I'm torn between a short-but-sweet reprieve with the Swap bros in 'Thoughtless and Reckless', or get straight back into the drama with the OG skeletons in 'The Burning Mountain', which is what I originally had planned. What say you guys, fluff or drama?
> 
> Thanks again for reading this far, and if you like my nonsense then please tell everyone you know! (Mostly because I'm lousy at self-promotion... 8D). Until next time!


	24. Authors Note - Edit Update

Hello lovlies!

 

This fic has now been updated after a major edit - the tense issue has been fixed, a few lines have been added for the sake of clarity, and typo's have been viciously hunted down. If you're anything like me and like to download your fics, I recommend re-downloading this version for a better reading experience.

 

Ciao for now!

 

Kassykins


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